Burning down the house - how losing everything can set you free: Andi O'Conor at TEDxCU

Andi O'Conor is a professional blogger/trainer/speaker coach, having won Westword's Best Personal Blog in 2010. Follow her through her very personal life story of how to turn a curse into the ultimate blessing.

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In the spirit of ideas worth spreading, TEDx is a program of local, self-organized events that bring people together to share a TED-like experience. At a TEDx event, TEDTalks video and live speakers combine to spark deep discussion and connection in a small group. These local, self-organized events are branded TEDx, where x = independently organized TED event. The TED Conference provides general guidance for the TEDx program, but individual TEDx events are self-organized.* (*Subject to certain rules and regulations)

[twinfeathers]

My friend just lost her place 3 hours ago. It's so sad to literally see it burn and hear her. Like you said I know the community will help her.

[karimmadhani]

I lost my entire home to fire in November of 2014. And as does Ms. O'Conor, I remember the anniversary of that fateful day, as she does nearly five years on. I am, however, still struggling to rebuild, literally and figuratively. I am very grateful to have escaped with my life, but it hasn't been easy. What I've learned, among other things, is that insurance companies can be unbearable to deal with, and if I was older I'm not sure I could manage; I feel for the seniors of our society that have to go through this, as it can take a psychological and physical toll on one's health. I was forced to relocate, and have since started over. I built that house with my bare hands, and over the course of the three years I lived there, I was constantly modifying it to suit my needs better. It has truly been a great loss, but I am still young I tell myself.

Similarly to the inspiring woman in this video, I started to blog about it shortly after I had caught my breath, with the purpose of venting my feelings and documenting the ongoings of the subsequent insurance claim for myself and others. From this I taught myself to use Wordpress to build sites, and now have several that I manage. I've learned more about the insurance industry (mostly not-so-great stuff), than I would otherwise have ever known in the course of a peril-free life. And so, I can much better navigate in a proverbial sea of proverbial sharks. Additionally, I started my own company in renewable energy, and although we are under-funded, I believe we are doing good works for the global community. I have also recently found a second career that I would otherwise not have discovered if not for the freedom that came with my circumstances.

So, I can understand the notion of 'having nothing to lose' and the adage 'the things you own end up owning you' (I think that last one might have its origins in the movie Fight Club). Even if you don't, and you won't, initially feel this way immediately after, it is the method by which we best cope and move on from a disaster, to grow from it rather than let it define your life negatively. So I get it, and I appreciate it. She's right - blogging about it does help others to feel less alone. And even immediately, it helps to release some of the anxiety and frustration that naturally develop when you experience a loss and traumatic event such as this. Great video! I'm glad she shared, and now so have I :)

[TamikaTaylor-rlim]

Thank you my dear woman, my family and i just lost our beautiful big wooden family home to a forest fire which came into the town of Jasper last Wednesday night and destroyed 359 !! homes ( including ours!)….. i am heartbroken, all my children’s photographs and momentos are gone😮, my heart is aching literally…. I needed to hear your interesting story! Is the pain of this huge loss ever gonna go away???😢

[delphinistar]

Virtual Applause! What an inspiring story, and engagement with the audience.

[thandekamentoor]

Listening to your story brought tears to my eyes and lit a fire in my heart, exactly what I’ve been looking for all morning. Thank you for sharing and bring hope to many of us trying to navigate out of rock bottom. Many successes to you and your future endeavours. From South Africa ❤️

[Sandomly]

"Collecting EXPERIENCES, " love it.

[deborahkelly]

Andi, now that our mutual friend is experiencing loss of her home to fire, I've come to see this video. Thank you so much for turning your fire-losses into insight and creativity and assistance to others!

[judyballou]

Almost 4 years ago, on the morning after informing my soon to be ex-husband with whom I had been in a domestically violent marriage for many years, that I was indeed planning to file divorce proceedings, I left the house to attend some errands in a nearby small town. While doing so I received a call on my cell phone that our home was on fire. My husband, a law enforcement officer, had cleaned out the bank account (which I had no access to, he controlled the money), set fire to our home, taken my personal vehicle and fled the scene. I came home to a house fully engulfed, I lost everything I had that day. He was found 2 weeks later in a neighboring state still in my car where he had shot himself at a rural scene where my father had lost his life years before in a car accident. For two months I alternated staying in a broken-down car parked in our backyard and sleeping on a sofa at my brother's house, busying myself each day sifting through the burn-out for any salvageable items. Our homeowners insurance proved useless because my husband had set the fire, I collected not one cent. I was 62 years old, an insulin dependent Type I diabetic, broke and homeless. I managed to obtain public housing and surviving spouse benefits after a time. One year and one day to date after the fire I closed a deal on purchasing my own home. I have considered writing a book of my story and life!! What seemed to be such a frightening, horrifying event has turned out to be my salvation: I now have a safe home of my own, am happy beyond my dreams and after so many years am my own person. Truly God has His hand upon me and I am blessed!

[Rallo]

I can relate to this. I had to rebuild my current home that had everything happen to it (lightning, fire, hurricane, water, snow, nightmare contractor) within a week of building/purchasing it and moving in. It’s hard but you come back stronger by going through it. 💪🏼

[BretSimmons]

Bravo! This is an exceptional TEDx talk. Great message and delivery. 

[stacythompson]

I lost a bag full of important stuff and I screwed up and accidentally throwing it away to the dump and if I tell my boyfriend my life will be over.

[rozebeauty]

JUST GOT A CALL SAYING I LOST MY CAR, SO I NEED TO FIGURE OUT A WAY HOME.WHEN I SHOULD BE THINKING ABOUT HOW WILL I GET TO WORK AND ALL THE OTHER ISH...ALL I CAN THINK ABOUT IS TAKING A WALK WITH MY DAUGHTER WHEN I GET HOME.

[-p]

This is an old video, so the chances someone will see this comment are pretty remote. But, I wanted to add my story. I just lost my home 2 months ago, my pets and everything I owned. I am 65 years old and my mother had just died 2 years previous and I was still heavily grieving that and a few other family losses, an attempted suicide, several deaths. You know how it goes....Anyway, I was nearly killed in the fire and escaped with my pajamas on, no shoes, no wallet, no cellphone. This was my SECOND fire in my life, having lost everything in a house fire in 1989. I hadn't ever really gotten over that-mostly, but not all the way. I am now living in a camper in a cold climate and have to figure out where I will be this winter. I have a small farm and animals, so it is not easily "just move." I ask for anyone's prayers to help me move forward. I have PTSD already from 2 near death experiences and assaults on me. I am not asking for sympathy, just prayers I thank you for reading this far. God Bless you all who are reading this because this sort of thing has happened to you. (even if no one reads this, I feel a bit better writing this.). I want to add that my community has been unbelievably supportive with physical things, donations and love. Please pray for all those people too. Thanks!!

[crocus]

I hope noone takes it as an appeal to actually burn down physical houses. Sorry your houses were burned down and glad no-one died and you were able to get a new home and a lot of public attention, but there are people who are not so lucky.

[christ]

I wonder what that Baptist prayed that made Andi and them emotional!! And what came out of the prayer??

[MarjjorieDawes]

Was she insured? Was she rich? These two factors are pretty important. Writing a blog afterwards is lovely but it isn't going to pay for a new house.

[thisismyloooveeeyy]

The third fire is the most painful and i think it will come?

[christ]

I also wonder how she's doing today?