8,675,309 (MTG Parody)

I hope you are safe and well! I'm hoping to make Magic songs and skits through the pandemic. Please subscribe if you'd like to see more!

This is a parody of an 80's hit, reimagined to be about one of my favorite cards from Standard a couple years ago.

I've wanted to start a Magic: the Gathering comedy channel for a long time but have always been told it's a terrible idea. That may very well be. HOWEVER it is a sad time right now and we're sheltering in place so I figure why not now. I really hope you like the videos! Stay safe and will start working on next week's video today :)

Teespring store:

Lyrics written by Remy. Music tracks, background vocals, and mastering by Ben Karlstrom. Shot on iPhone.

LYRICS:

Kenny, Kenny, it is my turn two
A tiny creature’s all I have to hold on to
But this 1/1’s not like the others before
cuz it’s Electrostatic Pummeler

Kenny, I got this number
Energy? 69
So how much damage am I taking?

8,675,309
8,675,309?
8,675,309
8,675,309

Penny/Penny, you’re the card for me
You’re just a 1/1 but you make me so happy
I had you in hand before but I lost my nerve
I tried to hard-cast you later but I was Abjured

Kenny, I got this number
Energy? 69
I can block this time!
Fling?
Shoot.

8,675,309
8,675,309?
8,675,309
8,675,309

---

I am elsewhere !

[smolangelo]

The monowhite lifegain deck he's playing against: "welp, that's half my life gone."

[lisatroiani]

Fun fact: 69 energy would have given him 23 doubles, and while 1 doubled 23 times is 8, 388, 608, to get to 8, 675, 309 you would need to double it *_23.048_* times, meaning that while the number isn’t exact, it’s pretty darn close.

it also means he got to use the funni number and it (almost) worked

[crapparc]

"I can block this time"
"Fling"
"Shoot"

[joepiazza]

I love how Kenny writes the damage like it matters.

[silasjude]

And how exactly did he get unnerved and abjured, then turn two untap with a 3 drop and 69 energy, then double a number so much it became prime? You know what, who cares.

[osieorb]

Because I'm OCD this way.

Challenge:

- You have 4 cards in hand, one of which is a Fling.
- Cards must be Vintage Legal.
- Going infinite is boring, so let's figure out a way to not be able to do anything else.
- You have a 1/1 Electrostatic Pummeler and two Mountains, one of which you played this turn.
- You have 69 Energy.
- You must give Electrostatic Pummeler +1 power exactly 13 times, individually, without tapping Electrostatic Pummeler or using any of the Energy, then be able to cast Fling, sacrificing Electrostatic Pummeler.

- Black Lotus+Ancestral Recall+Manamorphose
> URRAA in mana pool, 4 unknown cards in hand, 3 spells cast.
- Dark Ritual+Manamorphose
> URBBAAA, 3 unknown cards in hand, 5 spells cast.
- Conjurer's Bauble + Conjurer's Bauble + Conjurer's Bauble (targeting nothing)
> RAAA, 3 unknown cards in hand, 8 spells cast.
- Manamorphose+Manamorphose
> AAAA, 3 unknown cards in hand, 10 spells cast.
- Gut Shot (targeting anything) + Mental Misstep (targeting Gut Shot)
> AAAA, 1 unknown cards in hand, 12 spells cast.
- Haze of Rage (No buyback, +1/+0 thirteen times)
- In response to the first copy, double Electrostatic Pummeler 5 times.
- Resolve one copy of Haze of Rage.
- In response to the second copy, double Elecrostatic Pummeler 4 times.
- Resolve one copy of Haze of Rage.
- In response to the third copy, double Electrostatic Pummeler 2 times.
- Resolve one copy of Haze of Rage.
- In response to the fourth through tenth copies, double Electrostatic Pummeler 1 time each, then resolve a copy.
- In response to the eleventh copy, double Electrostatic Pummeler 2 times.
- Resolve one copy of Haze of Rage.
- In response to the twelfth copy, double Electrostatic Pummeler 1 time.
- Resolve one copy of Haze of Rage.
- In response to the final copy of Haze of Rage, double Electrostatic Pummeler's Power 2 final times.
- Resolve the final copy of Haze of Rage...
> Electrostatic Pummeler's Power becomes 8675309.
- Attack. "But I have a blocker!"
- Cast Fling.

[Loaf-sama]

I built an energy-powered Commander deck because of this video. It plays like a giant Rube Goldberg machine, and I love every moment of it

[EGH]

In case anyone is wondering(which of course you are not) the correct damage number in this case is 8, 388, 608

[michealwatson]

This guy is so talented and he uses it solely to make the mtg community laugh
What a Legend

[SimicFishCrab]

Lol, I watched this the first time cause the mtg jokes were funny, now I'm watching this for like the 50th time cause I actually prefer this version over the original song

[Zorgdub]

At 0:53 we can see he has to write down what his new life total is, so that's proof that we're indeed dealing with a life-gain deck.

[spagandhi]

I like to think that all your parodies take place in the same world and your politician character plays magic against his constituents

[nitanking]

Fun fact 69 energy gives you 23 activations, meaning Electrostatic Pummeler has 8, 388, 608 power (assuming no other effects change it's power). While this isn't exactly 8, 675, 309, that's as close as you can get by just doubling, so 69 energy is basically perfect :)

[minion]

Incredible how you manage to double a number so much it becomes prime.

[PastorKCLiu]

"you're just a 1/1 but you make me so happy" 1:03 sooo good! I swear, your MTG Channel has the most RE-WATCH value out of all the channels out there. You're getting repeat viewers 100X

[LakeVermilionDreams]

Funny, because to get 8, 675, 309 power, you have to pump and double it, but then after doubling it all you can, cast ANOTHER pump spell to give it an odd power! Why would you do that? Snakeskin veil, baby!

[whatd]

the real question is how did you get so many energy counters

[gelusvenn]

"I play a Selfless Squire in response."

[mrMickio]

A great start to what I hope becomes a big channel!

[thuggishcone]

"Fling?"

Love it. One of my favourite cards