trying to figure out my life.. (a vlog)

◤ shop my life

◤ YouTube essentials

◤ follow me
*I DO NOT HAVE A TWITTER OR FACEBOOK*

Hi there :) My name is Renee Amberg and I’ve been vlogging here for the last 5+ years on YouTube. All stemming from my beginning Law of Attraction days, to the big NYC, & then finding myself settling into this new journey of life as a mom to two and living out my dream life with my beautiful family & partner. Thank you for being here with us. We love you xx

-------------------------------
00:00 how im trying to be happier
06:13 trying to do things I enjoy
07:40 cheesecake protein yogurt recipe!
09:45 yoga & spiraling thoughts
14:13 im unhappy & I don't know why
-------------------------------

◤ FTC: Thank you BEAM for sponsoring todays video.
*this video may contain affiliate links, which means I may receive a commission for purchases made through my links.

[ReneeAmberg]

I feel like I’m still on a sort of auto pilot after everything happened. I don’t really have the words to how I’m feeling right now but this is the best I can do right now. I am trying to do things that previously brought me joy .. but for some reason I am still feeling empty. I have lots of questions right now. Lots of thoughts .. & I am trying to figure it out. I’m sorry if this vlog was all over the place, I really am trying to move forward ♥

[heather]

I think I speak for a lot of us when I say that nobody is expecting you to bounce back from a loss. If ever. It's okay to not be okay.

[michelle]

Another thing i was thinking, many of the "influencers" i follow openly admit to suffering from anxiety and depression. Working from home has many advantages, but also is very isolating. When you go to work at a job you have socialization and make friends, and things to focus on which can be a great distraction from our personal lives. You miss out on that doing you tube. On top of that, most content seems to be about becoming the best version of yourself with the perfect diet, perfect workout routine, being super organized, journaling, working on yourself and constant resets. Thats a lot of pressure on yourself, like a form of perfectionism, which can be exhausting! And if Z also works from home do you guys ever get a break from each other?! Maybe getting out more with friends or a hobby/work would do you good, when you're ready...

[hannahschmit]

I’m a silent viewer but not today! This video DOES give us something. You are showing us how to not give up and keep moving forward even when the hardest of hard hits us ❤️ sending love your way! You are such a bright spot even if you don’t feel that way when creating videos, your presence is enough:)

[floridanativelh]

Renee. You’re always so real. Transparent. This is what gives you such relatability.
Please. Trust the process. I’ve been praying for you. Love you!
Lisa

[alisonking]

You’ve been on my mind so much lately..and I just hope you know how amazing you are. I can’t imagine how you feel but I know it takes such a strong person to keep looking for the light at the end of the tunnel. You’re so inspiring in so many ways and I hope you never forget how wonderful you are! I know this is coming from a total stranger but I know how hard we can all be on ourselves. Keep giving yourself grace ❤ you deserve it. As always, sending you so much love.

[Growth]

After trauma the body craves simplicity. Some things that saved my life were therapy, yoga, sun, asmr and journaling. This is hard to process (to say the least). ❤ Sending so much love.

[movewithbailey]

it makes me so happy to see you finding a little bit of peace through yoga ❤ the mental + spiritual aspects of the practice are truly amazing. sending you love. i've been watching your channel since before the move to nyc

[michelle]

Renee, please don't take this the wrong way, but seriously consider getting therapy. I've been watching you for years and you go through these ruts pretty often even when nothing major is going on. I've seen cycles of you telling us you need to figure out what you want and being unhappy or unfulfilled, needing a change, and then moving, a lot! It seems like you get happy for a while in a new place, but after the decorating is done and the newness wears off you're ready to move again. Like always wanting a new start. But the thing is you can't run away from yourself. Please talk to someone who can help find out what's going on. Maybe even clinical depression or something. Sometimes there is no big thing we need to figure out or accomplish, the life we're living is already it! Seems like you have a pretty good thing going. Nothing's perfect and the grass isn't always greener...

[camerabsessedx]

renee its okay to be feeling this way, you just went through another very traumatic loss. you dont need to apologize for not being/feeling yourself and about the content you are putting out. take all the time you need to grieve and get back to feeling like yourself. it will take time but we are all here for you

[jennav.]

When someone you love passes they take a piece of you with them. You aren't the same person you were before their leaving. I have had both a parent die, miscarriage and a Nicu stay with my first ((it wasn't as long as yours and B's, but it was still traumatic)). It has been almost 10 years since my mom died and there is still an emptiness I can't shake. Still have hard time finding joy in what used to bring me happiness.

[freshvanillas]

i am not a doctor or a know it all, but it just sounds like bpd or clinical depression. i go through those same ruts and ups. i get so happy when i have a new thing, new home, new job, new hobby that brings me joy and when it wears off i get this empty feeling, ESPECIALLY if i suffer from some kind of loss or turn of events i feel just defeated. utterly defeated. i don’t know how you feel about medication but talking to someone and just having something to lean on outside of yourself can be helpful. you are doing your best and sometimes things are just bigger than us.

[isomon]

One step at a time 🧡 You don't have to know all the answers. Sometimes the only thing we can do is being present and allowing life to happen.

[shinytomoon]

renee i always appreciate how open you are and you're allowed to share all your ups and downs if you want and you're allowed to go forward with however is best. if it's all over the place so be it. eventually bit by bit you'll find how to do what feels best. ♡

[SK-uwhs]

I am 42 and it’s only been a handful of years until I started to feel like I thought I should feel like. I was continuously unfulfilled and feeling flat and numb. After meeting with my doctor and getting a therapist referral, turns out (which didn’t surprise me) I had been suffering from depression and PTSD from something that occurred in my childhood that I had just blocked out. From this what I’m trying to say is each to their own, and we are all different, but maybe just to find the root cause for going round in circles and feeling like you’re still going backwards ❤

[AmySmith-kmzf]

I have been there and am still there. I’m 47 and have felt this constant unhappiness for years. I am on anti depressants and have tried therapy and still nothing helps. It’s not something people around me like at work and stuff would be able to tell; just those close to me. It sucks and no matter what I try to do i lose i threat, get bored or depressed.

[joyceanderson]

I can't imagine going through a loss like that. Sending lots of love. Give yourself all the time you need to heal, you don't owe the internet or anybody else anything!

[theleakybrainclub]

I went through a REALLY long, medical scare where I thought I would eventually die... I did not die and in fact I healed and got back to a normal life I thought I would never have again.

What got me through, and what continues to get me through today, is somewhat of a morbid thought but it really helped. Each night in bed I would imagine I would die in my sleep.. And I would think back on my day and say 'Is that how I would want to live my last day on Earth?' It really puts a lot of things in perspective. It doesn't minimize trauma or loss or pain, but it puts it in perspective with everything else which really helped me. Maybe something like that will help you as well. 🙏🏼💞 You are stronger than you realize ✨

[OliviaRae]

I love watching your journey! You’re so real even in the hardest of times and girl you’ve been through them! Always excited to see what you have coming up next in your life, but also just watching you take time to breathe and just be is super beautiful too. Trauma is real af & it can eat you alive if you don’t work through it. You’re so strong & such a joy to watch. Keep your head high ✨

[claudiafaundez]

I’m going through a hard time lately and your videos make me feel less alone. Thank you 🤍