4 Tricks for when doctors gaslight you - Dr. Kaveh LIVE

#narcissist #gaslighting #mentalhealthmatters

Medical gaslighting is real and can affect your physical health. Here's what you need to know to prevent it.

5:54 - No. 1: Bringing support
7:35 - No. 2: Show your serious & bring pen/paper
8:40 - No. 3: Objectify symptoms in home diary
9:53 - No. 4: level the playing field & wear your clothes
Thank you to Catseye for the time stamps! :)

Gaslighting manipulation is a pressing issue in the healthcare world that we aim to bring to light. In relationships where power dynamics are significantly skewed, such as those between doctors and patients, gaslighting can take hold. This form of manipulation can cause patients to question their own experiences and symptoms, leading to a damaging cycle that can significantly affect their mental and physical health.

Our primary focus in this video is not to perpetuate a culture of victimhood but to empower patients to advocate for themselves. We're providing a comprehensive understanding of medical gaslighting, demonstrating how it can harm patients, and most importantly, fostering a mindset of empowerment.

Medical gaslighting can be a formidable challenge for patients to navigate. Psychological distress caused by gaslighting can manifest as physical symptoms due to the mind-body connection, making this an issue that can't be ignored. As patients, it's crucial to understand what gaslighting looks like and how it can impact the healthcare experience.

We also explore the broader implications of medical gaslighting. The undermining of patient experiences can erode the trust between patients and healthcare providers, and by extension, affect the overall quality of healthcare.

In the course of this video, we'll take a thorough look at this phenomenon, discussing its many facets without oversimplifying it to a set of strategies. We believe that fostering an informed patient community is one of the best ways to combat medical gaslighting. With knowledge and understanding, patients can better advocate for their health and contribute to a healthcare environment that values and respects individual experiences.

In essence, this video is a step toward creating a more compassionate and understanding healthcare space. Together, we can raise awareness about medical gaslighting, empowering patients to take control of their healing journey.

References:

This video/speech/channel DOES NOT CONSTITUTE MEDICAL ADVICE. Patients with medical concerns should contact their physician. If your concern is an emergency, immediately call 911. This information is not a recommendation for ANY THERAPY. Some substances referenced in this content may be illegal, and this content is not a recommendation for, or endorsement of, their use in any way.

[sparrowgael]

Doctors nearly let my infant daughter die, telling me she had a cold. She was seven months old and couldn't sit up or crawl. She always had a fever. She always had a runny nose, now she was having trouble breathing .I kept bringing her back. They kept telling me I was just a young, hysterical mother. Finally a very young doctor heard me. He x-rayed her lungs. One had collapsed, the other was filling with fluid. They took her across the street by ambulance. She was under quarantine for several days. She had RSV. My baby would have died because doctors believed I was just a hysteric. Now she is a bright young woman who is planning her wedding. I thank heavens every day for Dr. C. Pierce Hunter, that young doctor who listened to me.

[celestesaunders]

I am a retired physician and I regularly go with 3 elderly people to their appointments as well as friends who request me to do so. It's amazing how much better the physicians behave.

[ellenstone]

I fired my doctors in November of 2022 after a diagnosis of Chronic Lymphocytic Leukemia. The hematologist oncologist told me there was nothing I could do because “you are too poor to afford the treatment”. Then my PCP told me she couldn’t do anything else, even refusing to do labs to see if what I was doing made a difference. I did research, finding 1935 research published in a foreign medical journal. The research told of magnesium being used to cure chronic lymphocytic leukemia. I bought magnesium supplements, I took those at 3 times the amount recommended for 3 months. In March 2024 I found a new doctor, she did labs. Stating she felt my magnesium was probably at a toxic level, she also tested for that. When my labs came back they found “no signs of chronic lymphocytic leukemia. My magnesium levels were at a low normal. I will continue to be my own first doctor! I will continue to dismiss any doctor who doesn’t do what I need done.

[Keith-vqob]

I'm a retired cardiothoracic surgeon, and I can attest that Dr. Kaveh is 100% correct in his assessment of the medical profession and Physicians. There are plenty of Physicians that gaslight, and part of the cause is related to not being educated enough in evaluating and diagnosing the entirety of a person's symptoms and environment. Since they are unable to put the pieces of the puzzle together, they don't bother to perform the needed tests for proper diagnosis and treatment. Other concerning gaselighters are attorneys, politicians and corporate heads. I have been personally gaslighted by Physicians when I have sought medical care, and didn't tell them I was a surgeon. Physicians misdiagnose and overlook key factors in a multitude of patients everyday, all throughout the globe. Doctor's can get caught up in diagnosiing strictly by reading data, rather than putting on their critical thinking caps and considering all the factors surrounding a patients circumstances.

[debbiekeltz-wolk]

I have the perfect example of doctor's gaslighting seniors. My Mom was in the ER after suffering from a stroke. My Dad and I were there with her. The doctor was talking to my Dad and explaining what happened to Mom as if he was a child. Little did he know, that my Dad was a retired physician. He said to the doctor, you know, I once helped to establish this hospital. Go and have a look at the wall in the atrium and you will see my photo there. The doctor thought because Dad is elderly and has a hearing problem that he was stupid. Big mistake.

[AnitaHWells]

I complained to my doctor for five years that my stomach hurt and the 60 lb weight gain, lethargy was not normal. The doctor told me I was depressed, I finally changed doctors and within a week had a diagnosis of 4th stage squamous melanoma. I had a huge mass in my bladder. They said I had 2-5 years but I will be 10 years cancer free this April 2024.
Thanks for your advice and support.

[stara]

As a retired surgeon, I AGREE here. As soon as I hit 60? EVERY doc brushed me off; a torn supraspinatous tendon IGNORED as "well these things happen as we age.." I was SURFING, doc. Never informed of the tear; I saw the scan reports! Then I had severe fatigue-I recalled similar when I had ovarian CANCER in '96. I had to fight then too as a young doc because no one BELIEVED anything was wrong because "Of course you're tired; you're working 100 hours/wk."I found it MYSELF! (and lived!) 27 years later? I fought the V.A. for 2 YEARs for hip pain and this same fatigue; was "getting older", and "old war shrapnel wounds in that hip." Finally I DEMANDED a PET scan due to my history--nope. Paid 5k myself, I HAD LYMPHOMA IN MY FEMUR. Post Radiation...waiting to see if we got it. "I go to the press, or the VA pays." They paid. STAND UP ELDERS! I'm 70 and NEVER say I'm a doc until they start the yeah yeah sure sure old lady CRAP. Don't EVER stand for it. Bring a medical person WITH you as an advocate! My brother had 'bronchitis' and severe back pain w/o injury over and over; Rx antibiotics, no chest x rays. I told him (6k miles away), "Tell them you are coughing up blood" so he finally got a CT scan. He had Stage 4 lung cancer (too late) chemo/radiation never helped and now he only has 3 months to live. STAND UP!

[zvsonwq]

I went to over 60 doctors in 10 years, every one either prescribed oxy then scolded me for refusing to take it or called me a drug seeker even when my first words were dont give me drugs fix me. When I was finally diagnosed by a specialist at USC, i mailed a copy of the diagnosus to every doctor that said there was nothing wrong with me and included a note saying "If you had tried to help me maybe I wouldnt be in a wheelchair today. Do better for your patients or retire."

[MsCharismatic]

Thank you so much for this message! To this day, 15 years later I still clearly remember a past attempt to find a new PCP. This doctor seemed nice at first, even friendly. Until he saw I had been taking an antidepressant for 10 years. No other medicine. He asked why and I believe in telling your physician everything about your health and reasons for medications. I explained I had been diagnosed with a panic/anxiety disorder, major depressive disorder, CPTSD, and social anxiety. He asked if I was previously military. I said no. Then he got visibly irritated and his voice changed. He asked why I needed my Paxil then. I said because I was raped, physically and emotionally abused almost daily by my father from the age of 6-17. He told me I just needed to "get over it" and shouldn't be taking this medication and that only military can have PTSD. I was stunned.. I got up and walked out without saying another word. The visit was over at that point. This man should not be a doctor.

[PaperCoconut]

The pulmo in the US said to my face that he didnt know what was wrong with me because he had already given me antibiotics for “just a little bit of pnuemonia”. I was very very sick when he told me that. He said there was nothing wrong with my xray anymore. And he left it at that. I moved hospitals completely and it was impossible to get an appointment with a pulmo. I got so fed up and was already suicidal from being sick for about 4 months by then. I decided to fly back home to the Philippines (a total of 27 hours of traveling) to get some proper medical care. I checked myself into the hospital from the airport. It turned out to be pneumonia from MRSE bacteria and pulmonary embolism. I could have actually died. They gave the works, even redid my sleep study. I was in the hospital for 11 days. I have such a hard time trusting the healthcare system here in the US now. The care I received from the Philippines was far, far superior than what I have experienced here in the US.

[deborahperry]

I am a retired MSN, RN. It’s so refreshing to hear a doctor speak out and teach patients how to advocate for themselves. Bravo 🙌🏻 doc!

[Chango_Loco]

This happened to me with a doctor and nurse in the ER once. They thought I was having a panic attack because they saw that I had been diagnosed with anxiety two years prior.

But I knew I was having an asthma attack because my inhaler wasn't working. I tried to tell them but they told me to just sit there and eventually my anxiety will go away.

My mom got to the ER and tried to tell them but they rolled their eyes and said they had real patients with real problems to attend to and that I just needed to calm down and realize it was all in my head.

I thought I was going to die. I was taking short shallow breaths and crying and saying please help me. They would just walk by and judge me. It was the worse feeling.

My mom went into the hospital and found my disabled aunt's doctor who knews us. He came and saw I was turning purple. He immediately made them get me a bed and asked why I had not been treated.

The nurse told him "Oh he just has anxiety" and made a crazy face as she did that. He asked her if she also saw that I had been diagnosed with asthma and she said that 9 times out of 10 if someone has anxiety it is all in their head.

He then ordered her to get me a bed and went to talk to the other doctor.

The nurse begrudgingly got me situated and gave me a shot and slowly I could breath again. But she acted like it was not the shot that helped me but my mind having some effect that it knew I got the shot and so that is why I could breath.

She told my mom that people with anxiety will calm down once they take medicine because they feel like they will be fine.

My anxiety works different than that. I hate taking medications because that gives me anxiety. I worry about side effects and everything. And my mom told her that. She shook her head and said "looks like I can not win with you people" and left.

We were shocked. Then about half an hour later she came back in and said the ER doctor also ordered me a shot of a drug that relaxes you, so that I could rest.

I asked her what drug it was as she prepared it. And she said "Why? You don't trust me?"

I told her "I don't even know you. And with the way you have treated me... No I do not trust you at all. I have a right to know what you are putting in my body "

So she shook her head and said fine and told me it was a medicine (wont say the actual name) that I had previously been given and which gave me intense paranoia both times I had been given it. It was so bad thay my PCP had told me to never take it again and to tell other medical people I was allergic to it. So my mom told her I was allergic to it and she said "what kind of allergy?"

My mom told her and she laughed and said "That is not an allergy ma'am. THAT is his ugly anxiety taking hold. He needs help."

I told her I have been getting help since my anxiety started two years ago but my allergy has nothing to do with my anxiety. That allergy happened when I was younger. I refuse to take that medicine. She rolled her eyes and said "Well, I am giving it to you."

She reached to stick it into the IV and I went ballastic. I sat up and started screaming. She stopped, slammed the needle down and said "Fine. Suffer. Is this the way you treat people who are trying to help you?"

"Trying to help me? I almost died because of you. You have treated me like a crazy person all because bad things happened to me two years ago and I having been trying to deal with it. But all you see is a diagnosis of Anxiety and PTSD and all of a sudden you judged me and decided that everything medical in my chart must come from my anxiety diagnosis. You think that is helping me?!" Was my response. She daid nothing and just left the room.

The ER doctor came in later and said the test came back and showed that I not only had asthma but also that I had gotten pneumonia. Wow.

He said they were gonna get me some medicine for the pneumonia. He said I was lucky I got the asthma medicine when I did.

I told him he had some nerve telling me that as he let me sit there for two whole hours gasping for air and telling me it was all in my head.

He said "well 9 times out of 10 when someone has anxiety it IS all in their head".

I was so angry and hurt. I told him. "Two years ago I witnessed my father die right in front of me and my mom and then two months later I was drugged and attacked and almost killed but I ran for my life and was chased and luckily got away. That is where my anxiety stems from. But I, like my dad, was diagnosed with asthma later in life. And today I almost died because you and that horrible nurse who I never want to see again judged me. THAT is not your job." I had tears in my eyes having to re-live all the trauma and began coughing. I could tell he felt horrible and apologized. I just asked for a new doctor and a new nurse and told him I hoped he learned something from all of this.

It is sad that when something bad happens to someone they are told to seek help and talk to someone. I did do that because after my attack I could not live. I shut myself away afraid to come outside. And when I contemplated suicide I knew I needed help and got it. But then you get diagnosed with anxiety, depression, PTSD and the like and then get judged for that. And they are not the only medical people who have done that to me.

I was told by my therapist that it is in my best interest and my right to ask a medical professional any questions I may have. And to voice my concerns because it is my body after all and who else is gonna do it. So I do ask lots of questions. I always have concerns about side effects etc. But it seems a lot of doctors hate to be asked questions. It like offends them and they take it like you don't trust their judgment. When the truth is we barely know the people who are caring for us sometimes so why even go there and take it personal?

[Ag.]

In my experience, doctors respond in a hostile manner if questioned or their actions are spoken of.
After that, the doctor provides minimal, and even more dismissive, care.

[sage]

Parents, please never leave the room if a Dr asks, my mom did, it didn't go well. I never told anyone.

[ShalomUSA]

Im a ER nurse for 25+ years. I've found that asking a MD a question and then letting them contradict their own gaslit comment really works well. They won't argue against themselves. They just agree and think it was all their idea and superior intellect. (I just giggle on the inside). How to manipulate the manipulator. It comes after years of experience dealing with arrogant physicians. 😂😂

[marieallison]

SPOT ON!!!
January 1, 1989, I was paralyzed in a car accident on the way to go skiing. No liquor or drugs, just black ice. I was 21 y/o.
About June of that year, I was having urological problems and found a doctor about 70 miles from where I lived. I got to the appointment, and when the nurse called my name, she grabbed my wheelchair and shoved me into an exam room.
About ten minutes later, the doctor barged in and asked why I wasn't ready. He threw a gown at me and told me to put it on and be on the table in TEN MINUTES!
First of all, I had no way to take my pants off, so the gown was absolutely useless. Then I looked at the exam table. It was about 18 inches, HIGHER THAN MY WHEELCHAIR!
I just sat there until he came back, and when he did, he was angry that I wasn't ready and was wasting his time. By that time, I'D HAD IT!!!
I rolled over his foot accidentally on purpose, pushed him out of my way, and left.
Now that I have been in a wheelchair for over 35 years, I can weed out doctors, nurses, and medical staff very fast.
Just because they're in white coats and have fancy titles, I REFUSE to let them intimidate me!
There's always other doctors.

[JenKirby]

Many years ago my husband went to the doctor and was diagnosed as having bronchitis and given antibiotics. But he wasn’t getting better. He was getting worse. He went back to the doctor (twice) and was told that he hadn’t given the antibiotics long enough. The third time I went with him. I tried arguing with the doctor but she wasn’t interested so I stopped arguing and just sat there repeating “I am very worried about him”. After I repeated that a few times she could see that I wasn’t moving so she gave me an angry look and picked up her stethoscope. The result was “Oh you have pneumonia!”
So I think that I saved my husband’s life!

[shawnajones]

I once had an OB tell me that I was a hysterical woman while I was miscarrying. I never went back to him.
Now I find it sad that my doctor is looking at the computer screen and not me and never even touches me to examine me.
Thank you for your videos

[discpat]

I'm a psychologist. When i was doing my internship, a rather haughty intern asked why medical interns were called "doctor" but psychology interns were not. Without missing a beat, I told him it was because we had to know what we were doing first! All of my supervisors gave me a standing ovation!

[jeanroeder]

“The doctor will see you now.” Sometimes translates to “The doctor will judge you now.”