The lies we tell ourselves about who we are

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Intro music: Smooth and Cool by Nico Staf
Outro music: Lensko Let’s Go

In this video, I discuss a Jungian perspective on the structure of the self/psyche, which includes both the conscious and unconscious, both the persona and the shadow, both the ego-syntonic and the ego-dystonic. The person we like to think ourselves is not authentic. Only when we have compassion for the full Self can we feel whole.

Time Stamps:
0:00 The self is wholeness
2:23 The lies we tell about ourselves and others
8:34 A healthier alternative

[jmfs]

I am currently practicing EMDR for childhood abuse. I grew up being told I was dumb and worthless, and parts of that are still in me today at the age of 50. I barely graduated high school, and totally bombed my first try at college. I just got a 101.5% in my last part-time summer class. I have been getting an A+ in every class since I returned to college part-time 10 years ago. But there's a part of me that is anxious and feeling dumb and worthless the entire way. Be kind to others.

[kond]

I recently found myself in a situation where I was behaving in a manner that I said I'd never behave in. It's sobering to go through such times and it reminded me that I'm not simply what I tell myself I am. Thanks for the great video

[SamanthaLily]

I grew up seen as a quiet and good kid but I realize I don’t want to live like this for my whole life. For the first time in my life, I crave social interactions with certain people and I do think it’s a sign that I stepped forward.

[jofreruck]

I've struggled with accepting my shadow self and don't show much self compassion. Going to work on this!

[YourUpstairsNeighbor]

Dang, this video reminds me of all the times recently where a particular friend shamed me for behavior that she'd turn around and do too. I'm still confused by how someone can't recognize their hypocrisy and cognitive dissonance. (She says/think of herself one way, but doesnt act accordingly.) But this video does shed some light on it. Thank you Doc!

[maxwellg.]

I seriously think you need to make this into a series. A lot of what you mentioned is exactly what I'm going through today. It would be great to have some journaling prompts based on this in my opinion.

[SamanthaLily]

I’ve been holding in this phrase for weeks: “Human is a multifaceted being”
I think this solidifies it more.
Also, I need some longer time to reflect things with myself

(I expected myself to be “healed” in a week, it’s a bit absurd to think about lol. My idealist self always reign with the things I think)

[matthewmurray]

Wow, I've totally been doing this lately. I've noticed that I've been very judgmental the last few months. I haven't really dug into it but I'm pretty sure the things that I'm being judgmental about are things that I'm upset about within myself. Thanks! This was helpful.

[ethereal]

I was literally called “movie girl” when I showed upset or cried because my sisters thought I watched too many movies and got caught up acting like them, I was 5/6 they were teens…I only ever watched movies with them and not even many at all this just felt like being bullied all over again at home like I already was at school, parents called me “stepo” which is a traditional term for a stubborn child.
All I ever was was emotional and that’s not something they familiarized, when kids are laughing and playing it’s almost automatic to tell them it will end in tears…there seemed to be an obsession with a monotonous neutral state I still feel suffocated around most of my family.

[blue-uvmh]

I wish everybody on this planet would be able to see and understand this.

[requinn]

THIS IS MY FAVORITE TOPIC AND ITS ABOUT TIME YOU GAVE US CONTENT ABOUT IT!!! U THE BEST

[manoelafvb]

It's funny to watch this video again after a few months and realize I'm still needing to hear these words again and again. How hard it is not to be judgmental of yourself and others.

[m.g.]

Beautifully said Ana. This is exactly what I was looking for. I’m going to write down some judgements I’ve had of others and explore why those judgements affect me so much

[xxaavviieerrrrr]

wow you brought up so many new points for me to reflect on! especially the pathologizing part. thank you dr. ana

[bluecoffee]

In just the last 2 months I've discovered and dived into shadow work on myself. This video was such a great concise 'putting the basic picture pieces together' for me. Thank you. I've never been to therapy. I've done my fair share of "self help" a la Tony Robbins etc with at times ver good results albeit very. inconsistent. But I now see the big limitation on pure self help is I'm trying to leapfrog over my shadow and perfect my persona. Really reasonated with "the brighter the light shines the darker the shadow is going to be."

[ijustneedsome-space]

I did not expect this to relate to something in my recent life so much tbh. To make a long story short, my eldest sister just told me that I should stop posting about being frustrated at customers and my workplace because it was "Very rude" (On a private story with about a dozen people I know seeing it, and moving past it if they're not interested). Just a month ago, she left a toxic workplace and at every family gathering, we'd hear about every single thing that had happened since last time. Hearing her say this was rich, looking back.

This also does very much connect to the "You People Can't Do Anything" Phenomenon I've seen on social media, where people will give up on getting better because they have a label. I 100% fell into this at one point, but that makes it even more annoying to see people continue to ENABLE these people online.

[VenAvila]

ana! your makeup looks so pretty in this video! :)

[connorholmes]

I’m excited for this one I’ve been trying to develop myself authentically and as a healthy combination of my true self and sense of self

[tatymac]

How does this differ from outgrowing people and is that just being unaware or ashamed of parts of yourself? I think understanding the shadow side can allow tolerate disrespect and lack boundaries? Love some nuance on this.

[tatymac]

I’m watching this more than once. I need this to sink in! Great video/info!!