Akşam Olur Gizli Gizli Ağlarım - Suat Sayın - 20th Century Turkish Music

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"Akşam Olur Gizli Gizli Ağlarım" (In the Evening, I Cry Secretly) is a Turkish song composed by Suat Sayın with lyrics by Halil Soyuer. It is performed in the Muhayyerkürdi makam (mode) and follows the Nim Sofyan usul (rhythm). The song is structured in the form of a şarkı (a classical Turkish song form).

Suat Sayın (1932 - 2006) was born in Fatih, Istanbul. He completed his education at Vefa High School. Starting his musical journey at the age of 12 by playing the ud, Suat Sayın became a skilled composer and musician. In 1952, he worked as a ud player and artist at Ankara Radio, where he also taught notation, rhythm, and modes to aspiring artists. In 1958, Suat Sayın began his work as a composer. His first composition, the song "Gözlerimin Yaşını Silemiyorum," ( I cannot wipe away the tears in my eyes) dates back to that year. In 1960, he left the radio and recorded his first single, "Postacı."(Postman) He made his first stage performance in 1967 at Ankara Lunapark Gazinosu. Suat Sayın's compositions were mostly influenced by Arabic music, with a focus on love as a recurring theme. Some music authorities categorized his works as "arabesque" due to his pioneering efforts in polyphonic and externally sourced music. Upon closer examination, it is evident that his compositions were meticulously crafted with intricate motifs in terms of mode and rhythm. His compositions can be found in various contexts, ranging from dance music in taverns to Turkish Art Music repertoires. Suat Sayın had a rich archive of music. He passed away on December 7, 2006.

Turkish Lyrics

Akşam olur gizli gizli ağlarım,
Kaderin dilinden iyi anlarım.
Keder öğütmekle geçti yıllarım,
Beni değirmende taşa döndürdün.

Nefes alsam bile ölü gibiyim,
Aklım başımda yok deli gibiyim.
Suya düşmüş söğüt dalı gibiyim,
Yerimi yurdumu düşe döndürdün.

Bir gün buradayım, bir gün sılada,
Gönlümü göçebe kuşa döndürdün.
Çok şükür gurbeti bitirdim derken,
Yolumu yeniden başa döndürdün.

Lanet olsun sana ey zalim felek,
Ömrümü çarkında boşa döndürdün.

English Translation

In the evening, I cry secretly,
I understand the language of fate well.
Years passed by grinding sorrow,
You turned me into a stone in the mill.

Even if I breathe, I'm like a dead person,
I'm out of my mind, like a madman.
I'm like a willow branch fallen into water,
You turned my place and home into chaos.

One day I'm here, another day in a foreign land,
You turned my heart into a wandering bird.
Just when I thought I had ended the exile,
You turned my path back to the beginning.

Damn you, cruel fate,
You turned my life in vain on your wheel.