How can I get my child to stop pinching, hitting, biting, scratching, and throwing things?

Pinching, hitting, scratching, throwing, and biting are all perfectly normal behavior for kids that are within the 8-9 month old to 18 month old range. If your child hasn't already done these things, then rest assured the day will come when they do do those things. it doesn't mean they're going to be super aggressive or naughty children, they just haven't learned how to control their emotions yet, and they act out of instinct. And sometimes children do these things because they get a reaction out of people, like the first time, because of shock value, maybe you laughed a little bit, or maybe you over-reacted. Children like attention, whether it be positive or negative.

In order to overcome these behaviors, you need to enforce consistency and persistently what your expectations are. When your child does something, you may feel like telling them what they should and shouldn't do will get them to stop, but at that age, they don't really understand language. But they do understand body language and tone, so firmly say "No" every time they do it, and set the expectation, make it very clear, and then say "Hands are not for hitting", or "We don't pinch". And after doing it enough times, they will eventually catch on. You may start to feel like a broken record, but your efforts will definitely pay off.

My son was a hitter. He liked to hit a lot, and we had to work with him consistently, and we found a program that really worked for us. It was "Hands Are Not For Hitting". And this can apply to pinching, scratching, throwing things, whatever it may be that they're doing with their hands. Grab their hands and say "Hands are not for...", let's use "hitting" as an example, and then count backwards from 10, and just sit there, and look them in the face, and be stern. And after enough times, he just learned that he didn't want to be confined. And I knew we were making progress when he went to hit me and then all of a sudden he stopped. It will work if you consistently and persistently enforce your expectation.

Also try catching your child doing positive things, like when they're gentle and they're kind. Point it out and tell them that they're doing a good job. And talk to them about being gentle and kind, because, again, kids love attention, so if you're giving them more positive attention, then they may not feel the need to act out by doing negative things.

[WAMama]

I really needed this advice for my one year old. He always laughs at us when we tell him no. Thank you!

[wayz]

THANK I laughed and clapped at the end! I as a father am trying to do my very best to learn as much as I can. I LOVE my son so much. Thank you. God bless you for sharing.

[TheMonetteFamily]

Totally makes sense. This is where patience kicks in.

[SwedePotato]

I do ALL of this. I have been. My daughter is 3 and I’m so scared she’s going to get asked to leave daycare. I waited for months for a slot to open up anywhere near me and I paid almost $1k to get her started. I can’t lose my job again and wait and find a new daycare. I love her and I do so much positive reinforcement but she has so much anger and frustration. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong.

[justincaldero]

turns out this is exactly how I've been handling my daughter hitting and scratching me. I feel like a good dad

[martinosvath]

I like this concept of confining them for 10 seconds because kids don’t want to be hassled. The fear of being hassled is the best deterrent

[christinac]

My 7 year old son tells his 20 month old sister no in such a sweet way and it’s just so cute how she reacts. She’ll do the cry tantrum if she doesn’t get her way and poor Steven feels he has to give in to his little sister. But we will have to change that a little 😊

[emilyroseayres]

Thank you making this video! My 22 month old little girl has been biting and scratching her older brothers and I for nearly a year now. It’s 4:30am Australian EST right now and I am searching for advice about how to help her to redirect her frustration. She is the sweetest little girl at playgroup with the other toddlers. It’s always reassuring to hear from another mum who has been through a similar thing. Thanks again for sharing your professional advice for free. Blessings ❤

[coochchili]

What you said about being a broken record actually makes a lot of sense now the way you put it. That is going to help me so much. Before, even thinking about that term was exhausting. Thank you for the video, look forward to trying the hands solution :)

[alexiisonfire]

This is the best, straight forward video I’ve seen yet. Thank you for sharing.

[aristotlekumpis]

My son is 3 and is pretty mean to other children. He pulls hair, pinches, bites, and scratches. He's even broken a kids glasses once. He does have a speech delay and we think this is why he is doing this. It's not normal if your child is always doing it, regardless how many times to tell him no.

[honeylove]

This is GREAT and much needed. Thank you!

[LovesDarkBlue]

Any tips on how to enforce the no hitting when they’re still very young? My daughter is only 10 months old but she hits constantly and I don’t want her hitting everybody nonstop

[rubycutie]

My sister's 2 and 1/2 doesn't like looking people in d eye, turns away and likes to play by himself. Is this a problem? He hears but is yet to say any word.

[Sycosoulreaver]

Sounds like common sense and we were making strides but it started up again. Thank you!

[aahleynave]

Sometimes stern and firm is necessary. Especially if kids misbehave knowing that I have plenty of young cousins that are like nieces and nephews that are first cousins kids. First cousins are like brothers and sisters. Especially in my family. Children especially the boys in my family are mishievious or rumbuchus. More than the girls. At most times they're called little rascals or rascals even though they're not in trouble.

[abbyborreros]

I've been doing this for 1 week now. Still no progress, Everytime i say NO! Stop it! He only hits me again and again. With a serious face 🙄

[shindabuycks]

my daughter thinks its funny. She's 2.

[MyDawn]

you dont know what your on about love my sons still doing this at nearly 4

[varvaracoronado]

“We don’t pinch” - did it work for anyone?