Bob Mortimer's Theft and Shrubbery - Would I Lie to You?

Bob: "As a teenager, I used to terrorise my neighbourhood with a game I invented called "Theft and Shrubbery"." Series 9 Episode 2.

[Idarak]

'Fingerprints on an abandoned handrail' - the first sign this is one of the greatest WILTY games ever.

[asdasdasdasd]

"I know it sounds odd, but I just... believe it."
haha Bob Mortimer effect.

[quassica]

"Memories like fingerprints on an abandoned handrail" is, in my opinion, the greatest improvised line in the history of television.

[sambryan]

Bob mortimer really is the comedian's comedian. Every time he's on this show everyone has such a good time around him

[ManchesterUnitedKing]

"Sniper's dream they used to call him." - best line I have heard in a while hahahaha.

[wurble]

That "snipers dream" line genuinely had me belly laughing for about 5 mins straight. I don't even know why it's so funny. Bob is so great on this show.

[ryan_custard]

"A sniper's dream", they used to call him.

[francisburgess]

i love watching Lee when Bob is on the show. he always seems mesmerised

[jessicam.]

"We do beg your pardon, but we are in your garden" forever lives in my head rent-free.

[WILTYNope]

There you go! The most requested clip ever. “We do beg your pardon, we are in your garden” :)

[ronniemac]

“I hope that’s all the information you need” is amazing.

[alexandersmith]

I'm a generation younger than Bob, and I grew up in Middlesbrough, and I went to school with someone called "Cheesman" (no third E in 'Chees'). It strikes me now, years later, given that Bob's story is 'True', that the kid I knew at school might be a relative of the sniper's dream. They DID actually have a reasonably big head for a teenager — but, tall, not just generally large.

[flyingpiggie]

It's impossible to not like Bob, his happiness is contagious. The random details he brings into the story are hilarious.

[BertytheSnowman]

Would happily have Bob Mortimer on every episode of every panel show!

[imnothere]

Fingerprints on an abandoned handrail....like tears in rain.

[samdulledge]

Bob Mortimer is brilliant for this game. His 'chased out of town' story is still my absolute favourite, but this is a close second. The problem is that now whatever he says I'm pretty certain it'll end up as true!

[mindsauce]

“We do beg your pardon. We are in your garden” I can’t get over how hilarious this is

[delgriffith]

'Neil Overall, Gerry Dungeree's son' Fucking genius

[bronwynlapham]

Bob Mortimer cracks me up. He makes an art of pretending to be a terrible liar. XD

[da]

"a sniper's dream" is for some reason one of the most hilarious descriptions of a person's head I've ever heard