The Silent To-Do List (this is LIFE CHANGING!)

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[michellecuevas]

One of my favorite A-HA moments came as I was walking passed the open closet door where all of the board games were stored.. They were well organized, but but we didn't love playing board games/card games/puzzles. Many were gifts, some we spent a lot of money on, and I remember being a child and loving game nights so I tried to recreate that for me and my sons. But it just wasn't our thing. So every time I walked past this game closet, it would start talking to me saying things like, "well if you were a good mom you would be playing games with your children, if you actually cared about the boys you would watch fewer movies, etc.." Every day I would walk past that closet and feel bad about myself, like I wasn't a good mother, like I wasn't good enough. Finally I had had enough. I went through the closet with the boys and we each kept our favorite game or 2, and everything else moved out.. Hopefully to bless other families that loved playing games. I don't even remember the names of the games we gave away, but I can tell you the names of the few that we kept and enjoyed playing together. The game closet is now silent.

[charlotte]

This helps me understand why the clutter is stressful for me but doesn't bother my husband and kids: They don't see it as their responsibility to take care of.

[RachyRooM]

This is why I don't get stressed in other people's houses, even if they DO have some clutter. Because it's not "my" to-do list 😅 and why we apologise for the mess when people come over and they're like "what are you sorry for?! They don't see it, because it's not their mess or problem 🤣

[singingway]

When you are not overwhelmed then maintenance is a joy, but when you are overwhelmed with stress and responsibilities, then even enjoyable tasks like walking the dog or watering the garden becomes just another burden

[JumpingJolteon]

I think I’m at the point now where getting items out of my house gives me that happy feeling that I used to get with shopping. 😊

[samanthab]

The silent list is why a lot of us get upset with our spouse since they don't hear all the "stuff" that keeps nagging us!

[PostImperfect]

"If you want a golden rule that will fit everybody, this is it: Have nothing in your houses that you do not know to be useful, or believe to be beautiful." William Morris (1882)

[toriw]

That “vacation home” comment is what led me to find minimalism and learn that it was a thing. I noticed how much happier I was when I walked into a clean hotel room or an Airbnb. And how easy it was to live out of my suitcase. And how easy it was to get out of the house and do things, instead of constantly worrying about what needed to be cleaned and what chores needed to be done.

[martinrector]

A mind shift for me as a woman who is the homemaker is now that I have decluttered is to see the home as a place of rest instead of always being at work. For most women the home is their work. By decluttering and clearing surfaces it makes it okay to relax at the end of the day and to also have days off.

[cathynicolette]

I’ve always described clutter and mess as being literal noise to me. I was never able to explain why it felt loud. Now I know. It’s screaming at me that something isn’t done or I’m not doing it right. Thank you, I can now put into words that feeling.

[bjonson]

my silent reminder is, :"Don't put it down. Put it away." Saves steps later, stops clutter, relieves confusion, infuses peace in my mind.

[phoebebird]

Thanks, Dawn...enjoyed that. I actually have a very polite, non-demanding baking sheet. At night when I leave it out, it says, "no problem, mom. Thanks for using me today. I'm glad I can be so helpful and I LOVE working in the kitchen! I'm fine with staying out all night and getting a little fresh air. I know you are tired. Go to bed and get some rest. See you in the morning. I love taking a morning bath!" Haha! (Yes, I know my baking sheet is very verbose!) 😂

[patdennis]

You nailed my whole retirement life philosophy in one live my life like I’m on vacation. Yep, nailed it!

[FieldFarmForest]

I saw a meme once that describes me perfectly, “if I threw out everything that didn’t spark joy I would be standing by the side of the road holding my dog and my coffee pot”.
I got divorced 18 years ago, there were boxes that sat for five years before I could emotionally bring myself to even open them, I am only now opening the boxes of pictures from those years and that’s only to sort them for my kids and move them on. I find I am emotionally attached to my things. As a child I was not raised by my parents and I think I transferred that emotion to my books, and my things to feel stable. My divorce of 18 years shook me, even sitting here 18 years later I’m in tears. Your videos help tether me in when I’m trying to figure out what to do next.
Thanks for sharing.
☮️❤️-Kirsten

[susancrank]

I felt very unheard, unseen, and unloved as a child by my mom, and even as an adult she has continued to ridicule and shame me. I was thinking about what you said about everything sending a message to us and I realized as I looked around how I have been using my stuff to try and send the message to myself that I am ok, that I am worth being loved, that I matter, that I can buy for myself now, etc. Other stuff tells me that I have always put off making decisions about my home and who I am because I was never really allowed to have wants/desires/preferences growing up. I have tried to use stuff to cover the voice in my head from my childhood that says I wasn’t “enough”, that I was stupid and silly, that I wasn’t worth anything….As you said, it’s hard to put into words, but this definitely gives me something to think about and reflect on as I start this journey. I want to keep the items that remind me that I get to live my own adult life now, and things that remind me every time I see them that it’s ok, and even exciting, to just get to be myself! ❤️

[brittnigray]

OMG I'm only 2 mins in and feeling this so much! No wonder I get so much anxiety walking around my house. My to do list is insane.

[FairPairSquared]

I started watching this video while sitting in my comfy chair. I ended this video while cleaning my kitchen. Those silent messages got to me. Lol!

[MagicalKim]

I've been trying so hard to make my bedroom closer to a "hotel" room recently and I've been sleeping so much better and now I understand why 😮

[AjBayBay]

Your giggling while talking about the flowers and saying "I just needed flowers OK" is a whole mood 😂

[emilynbella]

You are speaking to me. I’m in tears and finally after years of therapy and such, someone can finally put into words what I’m feeling