Dementia and Power of Attorney: Medical and Financial Power of Attorney for Dementia

Welcome to the place where I share dementia tips, strategies, and information for family members caring for a loved one with any type of dementia (such as Alzheimer's disease, Lewy Body dementia, vascular dementia, frontotemporal dementia, etc.)

Today’s video is all about Power of Attorney. Make sure to stay tuned to the end when I specifically answer basic POA questions from another Careblazer. Things you will learn in this video include:

What is a Power of Attorney

Should you or your loved one have a Power of Attorney
How does a power of attorney help and when can I use a power of attorney?

What’s the difference between a medical and financial power of attorney?

Can more than one person be a power of attorney?

As always, if you have a question about dementia, leave it in a comment below, or on my FB page, and I will try to do a future video answering your question. I really want to make Careblazers as helpful as possible to you so let me know what would be most helpful to you!
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OTHER VIDEOS MENTIONED IN THIS VIDEO:
Find out: "why you should lie to your loved one with dementia"
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In case you haven’t met me, my name is Natali Edmonds and I am a board certified geropsychologist. That means that I am a clinical psychologist who specializes in working with older adults. One day, while hiking a trail, I came up with the idea for Careblazers and I decided to see if posting videos online could provide help to the many other Careblazers in the world who don’t get to have help come directly to them in their homes. I hope that this work helps you in some way on your caregiving journey.
#careblazer #dementia #dementiacare

[sherrybrown]

I am 67 years old. I was diagnosed with dementia 4 years ago. I take 2 different meds everyday to try and get my dementia to slow down. So far I am maintaining just fine. I thank you so much for your videos, I learn from them too.

[ungarlinski]

My mother is 83 and I am 48. A couple of months ago I moved back home from out-of-state b/c for the past two years my Mom has been showing symptoms: repeating stories every 10 minutes, making up stories e.g. she was in 9/11, mixing up stories, acting paranoid about everyone, and short-term memory loss. She was writing me letters asking me if I am okay in prison and when will I be released, except I have never been to prison. She was hysterically calling and emailing and texting 4-5 times per day about having no money to have her taxes shredded and work done on her property and it sounded like it was an emergency. Yet at the same time she drove to the store everyday and paid her bills immediately.

So I moved back to help out. And now not a peep about the taxes or getting the work done, and immediately when I pulled up was complaining about "all my stuff". Keep in mind she has always been a loving mother and had never said a bad word to me or ever even cursed. It also turns out that she pays for services and subscriptions she does not use either ever or not for a few years, and she can't remember anything about them or lies instead when asked.

Anyway, four days ago all of a sudden she stormed out of the house and was gone for a few hours. When she got back she had a nasty scowl on her face and stayed that way for about 24 hours. I sat next to her to ask her if she was okay and she exploded cursing at me claiming I was trying to control her and to "get the fuck out of here" at the top of her lungs. I have never seen anything like it. It was frightening and I am somewhat scared to be here. I have been paying off her credit card since I've been here, doing work around the house, got her taxes shredded, etc., but she must think I am up to no good or something.

I left home when I was 15 and had not been back until now or had too much contact with her. And now quite suddenly since the outburst she is nothing but mean to me and blames her credit card debt on me. It's downright bizarre this narrative she has. The credit card debt looks like it was various work-related items before retirement, car repair debt, and home repair debt. But when I listen closely to her stories it sounds like she thinks everyone has done her wrong and were criminals including all of the workmen she had hired to do various repairs over the years. I guess they were always hitting on her.

Honestly, I think she has been financially irresponsible her entire life. Her parents paid for her college and paid for half the house and she never saved a dime but averaged about 50, 000 USD per year. I find it very hard to have any real respect for her. Meanwhile I have been working remotely full time since the pandemic.

Just wanted to get that out of me. Not sure what to do.

[katelynn]

I live in Florida and I have an Unlimited POA for medical and financial that was set up when my mother was first diagnosed. However, while she or my father were still able to make their own reasonable decisions, that took precedent over my ability to step over their wishes, which of course, I would never do. As my mothers dementia progressed and my father was no longer comfortable making her health decisions, I would discuss with him the options and we would come to an agreement. Now that my father has passed, my mother since diagnosed with Alzheimer’s and living with me, the Unlimited POA has been priceless in caring for her estate and her health. The POA’s were the most important thing we did to assure them of the care they wanted.

[paulfresco]

Me and my sisters journey with dementia with my mom ended this week We flew blind through it it nice to no there are people like you out there helping people deal with it it is a over powering task

[nonawolf]

Being DPOA for my 87 year old mother has been the most draining challenge of my life.
Now that dementia stripped away her veneer of civility, she is just the angry, deceitful, abusive person she has always been. There are times when I toy with the idea of renouncing the DPOA, and letting her flounder till the state steps in. May God grant me patience... I don't know who much longer I can stand this.

[LRB]

This is so helpful! I really appreciate these videos! I actually have a PhD in behavioral neuroscience, so while I understand a lot of the science behind the disease, navigating the legal and medical landscape has been a challenge. My mom has dementia and it's been rough on the family.

[treshao]

I am so glad I found you, I am my mothers Durable power of attorney for medical and Financial. She has just been Officially diagnosed with dementia and its recommended that she be in a home because she is not understanding her illness and falls and has been in and out of the hospital and rehab facilities numerous times over the last year. She is unable to walk or care for herself any longer and they will not let her just go home to an unsafe environment. (she lives alone) The problem is my older brother REFUSES to acknowledge that i am her power of attorney and has taken all of her financial records, i cant get her mail to pay any of her bills, he has everything from her drivers license, social, and about $2000 in cash, etc of hers that he refuses to return anything. Refuses to even talk to any of the family. I need her information to place her in a care facility and only have a matter of 2 weeks to do so. I don't know what to do. Im so frustrated with him and his denial that there is anything wrong with her. What is within my right to do if anything?

[lindagriffin]

Thank you so so much for your diligence and informative simple to understand format. Your videos have been sanity saving. May God bless you richly

[MrArdytube]

As Natali mentioned, it is important to start early! One reason that I delayed was because I was thinking “it is not yet time to do this, Mom is still competent”. This attitude overlooks what you can and SHOULD do even while your loved one is competent:research. We can start contacting banks etc pro-actively “just to find out what they will require”.

In case it is awkward to ask your loved one to sign these papers because it is “too soon”... you might be able to collaborate with a doctor to counsel the loved on the importance of addressing these issues BEFOREHAND since there is seldom an objectively decisive moment. The doctor will seldom raise this issue unless you specifically ask for help on this issue

[MrCheeto]

Thank you, Dr Natali. We are getting a lot out of your channel and videos.

[rogerroger]

Just an FYI that we just found out. My wife is POA for her father who is getting into the advance stages and after visiting the doctor we were told that she could be held responsible and even sued if something happen because he was not supervised as needed. If he was to walk out into the street and get run over or do something that causes harm to others then we could lose everything we own. I know this is an older video and I have no reason to believe the doctor doesn't know about these things but, I would really like to hear another opinion or someone else's advice. Thank you

[daveobrien]

Your chart at 1:40 states your Financial POA can make "Medical" decisions about your finances, whereas "Financial" decisions seems more appropriate and fits with the rest of your message. No reply necessary. Very helpful, thank you.

[lesleyjoymcclure]

Perhaps the regulations are different in the US from Canada. My brother and I are both medical and financial power of attorneys for my parents. My Dad passed away in 2020 but my Mom is still with us. When Dad fell and broke his hip and had to go into a care home, he was 99 at the time, both my brother and I had to sign to necessary documents. Our cousin is the lawyer who drew up these papers. He has been the family lawyer for many years and we trust him completely that they are correct and legal. There was never any question from the care home that we were both power of attorneys and there has never been any questions from my parents financial institution that we are both financial power of attorney. My mom is 100 and has been living with my husband and I for 2 1/2 years. She has moderate dementia. It’s very challenging as I am 72 with more physical health problems than she has. We take it one day at a time and pray that we will be given discernment in all our decisions. Thank you.

[rosemariekury]

Even if there’s no dementia yet involved power of attorney is important. A few years ago my husband had a severe stomach bleed and at first ( due to a stomach bypass) and a holiday weekend they couldn’t find where it was. Meanwhile he went into shock due to blood loss and wasn’t aware of where he was. He thought the doctor was a vet and refused to get surgery. It was very upsetting but due to the power of attorney I had they were able to proceed. They finally did an endoscopy and found a hidden bleeding ulcer they fixed. At this hospital they also have this on their files. He lost so much blood he may have died. I’m not sure they would have proceeded if they didn’t have this.

[jabrother]

Thank you so much for all the help you are a wonderful and sweet woman. My sister and I are going through all this right now so it was very pertinent! Thanks again for caring and for the great info sharing.

[loicybourque]

My brother is a disabled veteran in a wheelchair who has vascular dementia. He refuses to give any power of attorney to me. I had to put him in a NH at the beginning of the Corona Virus due to my being quarantined and he lived alone and I couldn’t take care of him. I’m 75 years old and he is 72. He is still legally married to a woman who hates him and they have not lived together for over:30 years!! Thank you

[tedwilliford]

another very important issue is that a durable power of attorney really does not have much effect as long as the individual who granted the POA still has the ability to say "No" when issues are being discussed. When this happens you must engage an attorney and petition the court for a general guardianship in which you ask the court to determine the individual in question is incapacitated and unable to make decisions, basically incompetent. the durable POA is incorporated into the petition and when guardianship is granted then the durable POA takes effect and the court's order will make reference to that document.

[intrusivethoughts]

My grandma is in the hospital right now for the first time for hallucinations and confusion. She literally went from fine, living alone working in the garden to thinking shes on a dirt road in an accident. Its the craziest thing ive ever seen. Has anyone else seen such a rapid onset like this before?

[LOVELOVE-duut]

Thank you so much for this great support and help. I'm taking a crash course as a caregiver...what a shock this all is....

[cathyblock]

I have recently become legal guardian (Article 81) for my sister with dementia. This covers both POA and Health Care Proxy in New York State. So much still to do!