What is Passive Aggressive Behavior?

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[debraholmes]

People love labels. Sometimes it’s just their way of doing things because they have 20 things going on at once. I don’t think most people are sitting around thinking how can I passive aggressively do something today. Or how can I prove I’m a narcissist today. Etc etc

[johnrainsman]

Question about the topic. Does this sound passive-aggressive? The chef at my job asked me how I was after a lecture she gave me the day before. See, she'd taken me to my boss's office--with the both of them--and told me that I've been touching my coworkers too much ( *_casually, _* on arms or shoulders). I was always very outgoing and tactile at work. She told me that we need the workers to be comfortable in a good work environment. That I shouldn't talk about anything other than work and school or tell my stories, because they may be inappropriate or upsetting (can't remember her exact words) to others. Now yeah, I pretty much didn't have a filter, but I don't think I said anything *_horrible._* I only meant to have fun with my crew. I really didn't get specific information from the chef about subjects and references. She likes that I'm outgoing, but she made it sound risky and in need of limits. And again, that I shouldn't touch anyone without consent. And then the next day, she asked how I was. Like, WTF? What did she think? That I was doing well after she practically shamed me? If I didn't know any better, I'd say she was patronizing me--or just plain nuts. I should've said, "Uh....I'm sorry, I'm genuinely curious to ask, why would you ask me how I am after yesterday?" I'd kiII to know her point of view.

Also, for the record, I own my mistakes at work, so I don't want anyone twisting it around into I'm making the chef the only bad guy. I didn't _mean_ any harm or discomfort. If I had known anyone would feel either, (though technically no one showed signs), I would _not_ have touched them. I am not a creep. But the chef made me feel like one. I always thought it was perfectly innocent and natural, and I still do, in certain ways. Happens a lot at the bar parties I go to—total strangers. Besides, two middle-aged workers from the dining department have done it to me; I don’t condemn it. All in all, I deserved some dignity and comfort from the chef.

[megamanx]

Men should not be passive-aggressive at all it is a weak characteristic.