vlog | first day of uni, dealing with anxiety, lots of cooking

hello ! in this video i start my final semester at university, attend lectures, do lots of cooking, visit the aquarium and spend a lot of time thinking and talking . VIDEOS WILL BE SHORTER SOON I PROMISE :') I cut so much out but it's still unnecessarily long .... see you next time ~

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sub count: 30,640 . thank you for being here ~

[leahmegan]

hi friends ~ sorry this video is so long . I'm going to switch my filming schedule to try and make them shorter, which may let me upload twice a week at times !
I spend a lot of time just . thinking . looking back (even though it was only a few days ago), I do think my anxiety made me think to deeply about a lot of things and that none of this was really necessary .. I decided to leave it in anyway, in case someone relates !
I'm also editing a bit differently (and not really using text, since I talk so much and find the text unnecessary at this point) and will try some different styles and things over the next few videos (: I hope this video was still somewhat enjoyable, even though I'm always unsure of what people will think . anyway ! much love . see u next saturday ~

[poppycalliope]

You don't need to apologize for the long video I think we can all agree that we LOVE long vlogs from you 💕 also I completely understand the way you feel and to be honest I'm already 27, I studied and started working at hospitality cause that was my dream career but then I realized that it's actually not! I'm still trying to figure out what I'm doing and there are so many important things in life that can bring us joy and happiness. Jobs are very important but they are not everything. Sending you much love ❤️

[carlablanco]

Hi Leah, I just listened to your reflection about your career and I kind of agree. I think we all have to learn that it's not important if our job is our passion, the reason we're alive, etc.. there are (and will be) so many things that bring us joy instead of our professional careers. We're young and we will make mistakes but hopefully, we will have our friends/family to support us so I guess we'll be alright <3

[aaliyahpatel]

5:33-10:30 resonated so so much with me leah! It's like you just jumped in my mind and talked about my thoughts! You're not alone- and always remember that you've built such a beautiful and supportive community on here too! Whatever you do as long as you are happy and comfortable and know you'll be amazing at it! Sending lots of love xxx p.s your videos are just the most comforting thing ever I wish I'd found them earlier- it would have helped me through some really difficult times

[lyndseygormley]

You don't know what you don't know; sometimes it takes us doing something to realise it's not for us. This degree has transferable skills you can use should you choose to pivot careers; you have time. :) (ps. my undergrad is in Theatre and English Lit but I went back to school in my late 20s to pursue a career as a therapist ~ I would never have known this was what I wanted unless I have pursued other things that led me here).

[inesmdosantos]

i think none of us really know what to do in life, we just wander around trying to find something meaningful. 3 years ago i thought studying history was my dream and now i don't think it is anymore. i'm on my last semester as well, but i will be studying literature for my masters because i think it would make me happier. you don't have to be an expert in anything to do anything, i've taken lit courses and i am an avid reader, but despite that i'm no genius! if you think art would make you satisfied, go for it! lots of love <3

[oriette]

Thank you so much for these videos!!!
It really helps me to deal with my anxiety, because you’re so calm and peaceful 🤍
God bless you, dear Leah Megan

[vickimcosta]

hey Leah! just wanted to share my story and say that i totally understand how you feel. i went to law school because I felt so pressured to become "someone important" (or what my parents/society made me believe was important), and halfway through it I realized I hated it so so much. so I got another degree and became an English teacher and it was something that made me happy for a while. i wasn't make a lot of money, and I was working insane hours, but still, I felt happy and fulfilled, I felt like I was doing something that mattered. until I got too tired and realized I'm still so young (I'm 25) and it's okay if I'm not ready to settle down and find the job I'll do for the rest of my life. it's okay if I'm not sure yet. so I'm taking two years "off" to travel abroad and work, study, travel and experience another culture. for a while I thought that people my age who were getting married, or getting really great jobs were "ahead" of me, but now I realized that I'm just taking a different path, and that's okay. after years of trying to meet other people's expectations, I'm finally ready to find what makes ME happy!

[jj.]

8:00 that's exactly my thoughts and my life and what i really feel 🙃

[yasminffs]

I live in Norway, and here higher education (uni) is free. I’m only in my second semester of studying law and I’ve decided to drop out. It probably sounds crazy to some. Even though I don’t have the guilt of wasting money, I definetly feel like I’ve wasted time and that I took a place from someone who would appreciate it more than me. I was never interested in law, my decision was spontaneous. However, I would be living a lie for myself and others and I find it illogical to spend three years doing something I don’t enjoy. Life goes on, things change. I’m starting a bachelor in history, something I’m passionate about. I trust you’ll end up in the right place when you pursue what you love. The ultimate goal is hapiness.

[madmax]

As someone with depression and anxiety, I totally get it. Some days are incredibly tough.

I discovered your channel a month ago and I could relate to everything you post so much.

[strawberry]

Today I was sitting in a coffee shop watching your video. I felt so good and calm, I didn't feel lonely because I watched your video. Thank you so much, Leah! I love you💗🥺

[tessamccormack]

Leah, I'm currently completing a Masters as I felt I wasn't done with learning. To be completely honest, 50% of the choice was procrastinating because I didn't want the uncertainty of graduating. I'm still glad I've made this decision, but I definitely rushed into it because I felt out of control. In a way, I wish I had given myself some time to find my feet and see what I ACTUALLY want to do. Don't feel pressured into making a decision quickly. I think this feeling is a lot more common than we realise. No one likes talking about uncertainty, but it doesn't mean they're not feeling it as well. P.S your vlogs bring me so much joy, please keep doing what you're doing!!

[lauryn]

the 'unsure about the career and study choices' section resonated so much with me, about to graduate and I have been having the same thoughts. I sorta feel like it is all 'one specific thing' and the field I am majoring in has nothing creative or anything of personality going on, I have been contemplating starting a youtube channel or something of that sort as a creative outlet while I finish my internship to try and stay sane. have also found that it's usually never too late to make changes, the skills I am learning right now I might put to use in a different field, and I talked to some friends from uni and found out many have been going through the same thing, so I really appreciate the video!

[cihangoktas]

That sincerity within your videos what makes them dear to us!! Everyone's going through the same stuff, we are just not used to communicating this part of ourselves, an important part, and rather seem like we are "perfect" when we are not. And what is more hurtful is when we are going through these, we tend to compare ourselves to other people and think "am i overthinking this?" but we're not, it's just the people that we compare ourselves to did not show what goes behind their head when they're alone. Thank you for breaking that wall of cliché, my life is perfect and i'm having the best time of my life vlogs :) Take care

[kaelatempest]

As someone who has to go to university soon and doesn't really know what to do, or feels pressure/judgement from others to pursue a certain thing, hearing what you had to say was really comforting and affirming, and you're feelings are super valid. I just know that everything will be ok for you, despite this feeling of uncertainty and the days when life feels super overwhelming. I love your videos and appreciate you so much. Congrats on being at the last stretch of uni, you're doing amazing! <3

[lerlerlrlr]

No! It’s definitely what I wanted to see when I clicked on your video! I was looking for thoughts and worries to feel like I am not alone and you helped me) Thank you for your tries, you really good❤

[livingwithskye]

i'm a sophomore in high school and your videos are currently getting me through studying, i came upon your videos and i've been watching them every time i sit down to study or when i need motivation so thank you <3

[nusaibaalmarri]

tbh i feel a kind of similar as i am in my 2nd year but my major is too abstract and mathematical ( its econ) and i find my self tending more to psychology and arts. i feel pressure from the world and my surrounding circle to keep pursuing what the market asks for in regards to job. but all i want is to have a cozy home, wake up early feeling calm and happy, read and write about what i like and paint until i sleep. Now, i decided i will just aim to finish my degree and then if i find a job i will try it out, if not then i will just go with the flow.

[phoeberc]

hi Leah! also a third year graduating this year with no idea what I want to do haha! I also sit and reflect about the fact I chose my degree when I didn't even really know what I wanted either... and now the things I am interested in are not possible to study :( just wanted to say you're not alone in this and it's really nice to hear someone else feel the same because everyone I know on my course has some sort of idea on what they're going to do after we graduate... wishing you the best <3