I Can’t Live With My Depressed Husband Anymore

I Can’t Live With My Depressed Husband Anymore

As heard on this episode:

These platforms contain content, including information provided by guests, that is intended for informational and entertainment purposes only. The content is not intended to replace or substitute for any professional medical, counseling, therapeutic, financial, legal, or other advice. The Lampo Group, LLC d/b/a Ramsey Solutions as well as its affiliates and subsidiaries (including their respective employees, agents and representatives) make no representations or warranties concerning the content and expressly disclaim any and all liability concerning the content including any treatment or action taken by any person following the information offered or provided within or through this show. If you have specific concerns or a situation in which you require professional advice, you should consult with an appropriately trained and qualified professional expert and specialist. If you are having a health or mental health emergency, please call 9-1-1 immediately.

[joscelynpease]

Everyone is ragging on her but she is really trying to figure out how to help and cope with her husbands mental health. It is exhausting being with someone like this and hard to know what to do.

[zakiyaseedat]

Depression is becoming such a huge issue in many parts of the world. I feel sorry for the caller and her son. I hope it works out for her and her family.

[littleripper]

I have no sympathy for someone who refuses help at the expense of their partner and family. Your family is not required to take your abuse because you dont feel like even trying to fix yourself.

[pamelavesey]

This isn't depression, it is mental cruelty and abandonment.

[bayimahole]

Dr John normally gives great advice. Yet today he outdid himself : his ability to reach his audience is marvellous. John, your first words on this call were great 1:12! The matter about ‘setting all the encryption aside and being with him’ is fantastic. You’re very talented. You’ve earned it and it is evident. Great call.

[artkidolee]

I have been there, extremely hard when ur partner lying bed all day long because of depression, yet the business he jumped into so eagerly ( which pretty much caused his anxiety n depression) still needs to go on

[Jackknife-TV]

Well the first thing he needs to do is realize he Not a nut job He's not He needs help, First thing he needs to see is a psychologist. They can relieviate his depression and anxiety with medicine then follow that up with a psychologist for therapy. Also he should be evaluated to see if he's has borderline bipolar disorder It sounds like he hits All the criteria.

[bunnybubs]

Her body reacts to childhood
Her body remembers
She doesn’t know how to feel love
And it’s her parents neglect in infancy
I bet

[AmethystSnow]

“If busyness is your drug, then rest will feel like stress.” Powerful.

[GUITARTIME]

All you critics: the dude is refusing outside help (meds, therapy). Thats irresponsible. You cant White Knuckle your way thru major depressiin.

[megalopolis]

What this caller is enduring, and what she has to do to try to save her marriage is terrifying and heartbreaking. She's been dealing with this the better part of twenty years. She Loves her husband so much and only feels him pulling away from her. I'm praying that Dr. John's advice works, and that the husband gets the help he needs to process his trauma in a healthy way. That child deserves both parents in the home, experiencing Love and devotion from them both.

[mossygirl]

I had to leave my love because he refused to get help. Refused to work, get out of bed, clean and take care of himself, would aggressively take out his anger on me and said he would never ever speak to someone ever. It hurts dearly but we were not married and I felt like I had no choice but to move on. I'm heart broken but I have chronic health issues and it was bringing me so down. Nothing I did would help and his refusal to get help is really what made me leave. If someone hates themselves so much it's often impossible to love them. I wish this wasn't the case but sadly it is. I wish him well.

[lzal]

One thing that snapped me out of it and got me to go get help was the realization that my depression was affecting my child and would affect his development.

[jenniferthompson]

My dad had major depression through my teens and the best thing my mom did was eventually told him that he needed to either get help or leave. She had tried to love him out of it, and tried talking to him but he constantly just shut down. People want to tiptoe around depressed people and treat them like glass. Unless a depressed person is clinically insane, they are responsible for their actions and can choose to heal if they want to. Unpopular opinion but that is the truth.

[CaliforniaWife-flew]

My husband’s 18 years of anxiety & depression was actually a hooker and porn habit. The 4 kids and I did everything to respect him and his moods. He was always “busy” at work and traveling for work but too depressed to do house chores or yard work or be with the children. But he had the ability to siphon off money from our retirement funds to pay for Cam girls and Sugar Babies and sex workers. And of course had sex with me 2-3 times a week. His “depression” did not affect his sexual appetites. He stayed back from family trips and Holidays to have Orgies in the house. I wish I had gone to therapy and had the emotional strength to leave when I felt like this caller. My husband had already left the marriage and was just fulfilling his own desires. He never told me and I was too foolish to recognize how disrespectful of me and our children he was being. Divorce at 50 is so much better than being married to a manipulative creep! And all 4 of my children are healthy independent loving adults who benefited from family and individual counseling. I’m now 60 and my first grandchild was born 2 weeks ago. My daughter-in-law asked me to move in and help them for the first month. Life doesn’t get better than this.

[xyzabc]

It is impossible to help a grown adult who doesn't want help. You can't force them to do anything.

Too many caregivers literally die because of someone else.

[tishtash]

I've was in her position for YEARS and nothing changed until I separated from my husband. Only then did he seek outside help and realize this was a huge problem.

[DaniL-hrxo]

I grew up with a depressed father, who have always refused to acknowledge his problem and get professional help. I WISH MY MOM HAD LEFT HIM AND TOOK ME AND MY SISTER AWAY FROM HIM. When you have a family you have the responsibility of being mentally stable for them, or at least try your best. People who are judging this woman have no idea how a situation like this damages the other members of the family.

[limiwa]

My husband also suffers from anxiety and depression. I can very much relate to this caller. We've been married for over 20 years and I've done my best to be loving, supportive and understanding, but it takes its toll on you, the marriage and the kids. Too many years went by before my husband realized that it wasn't up to me or anyone else to "fix" him, and that waiting around for it to somehow go away on it's own was not going to work. He's against medication (after learning as a First Reaponder/EMT first hand how it can increase your chances of suicide), but has made other lifestyle changes (diet, supplements, exercise, hobbies, positive friendships, sleep, change of job, EFT, etc) to help himself. Taking charge of his mental illness made the biggest difference. It's not completely gone and probably never will be, but it's much more manageable, he's very functional and our home life is so much better. When depressive episodes surface, instead of giving in to his misery, he's more likely to ask himself, "What's going on here? What do I need?"

18 years is a long time to suffer. I hope that for everyone's sake her husband can finally get to this point as well.

[happyash]

My heart goes out to this woman. I was there and I had that conversation with my husband. And he responded with divorce papers. At least the hell was finally over. I hope her story turns out differently because they have a child. We didn't and I ended up marrying that friend who, like John's Todd, dropped everything and tried so hard to help. It's been a long time and I couldn't be happier. There is so much hope out there. It just looks different for everyone.