“Happy wife - happy life” is a bit more complex…

I'm not talking about people who say it as a joke...but rather the way it is sometimes applied.

[mygodisthemoon]

That's why I prefer happy spouse, happy house if we're going to use sayings. Both parties need to be active in the relationship in order for it to work, be happy and healthy, even in those moments that suck

[DWMurry]

"Happy Spouse, Happy House."
It's not all about one side.
He nailed it.

[amymihaly]

I'm a woman and I hate that phrase for those exact reasons! Thanks for sharing this

[laurenharris]

Thank you! And speaking as a wife, I don't want my husband to simply "make me happy". I don't want to be placated. Let's work it out.

[frankhansman]

Every man I know who touts "happy wife happy life" is secretly dead on the inside.

[UnscrupulousAgitator]

I was married 25 years may he RIP
We raised a family. Had ups and downs. But we woke up each morning finding ways to make the others life better, easier, happier.
Even if we were "mad" at them 🙂

[DoubleDogDare]

Took my brother a while to figure out the "happy wife/happy life" thing, but once he figured it out he played it to the hilt. And it paid off handsomely. It's amazing what coming home with a piece of diamond jewelry for no other reason than "just because I love you" will do for a relationship. And he consistently courted her as if they were just engaged. And he never nagged her.

They got married at 18, are now in their '70s and still going strong.

[rhone]

It also ignores the idea that wives should be just as invested in ensuring their husbands are happy as well.

[jeffreyburrell]

Absolutely agree. Respectful, honest communication that’s focused on the problem, not the other person, is key. Holding each other accountable applies to this, too. It’s easy to be a jerk about it, but that falls flat quickly.

[curlywurly]

My dad was a very calm guy who was very slow to get angry. My mother on the other hand always needed chaos and something to argue or complain about. Looking back, I can see that my father checked out emotionally. He always went to work very early and came home very late at night. Now as an adult I see why.

[MrArthanis]

Absolutely agree. 1 real meaningful relationship where both are working to build a life together is worth every fling in the world.

[Jeweledragonfly]

I agree. The first time I heard that saying, the first thing that came to my mind was what about happy husband.

[tickley]

The journey is in struggling together in things that are meaningful, not in placating one another. Definitely.

[chincaglieria]

Wow! Come to think of it…that’s exactly right. What us women/wives want is RELATIONSHIP
COMMUNICATION CONVERSATION ENGAGEMENT. We don’t want checked out men/husbands that placate us! They are a dime a dozen! Nick, you did a great job of taking that old saying apart at the seams and crushing it! Bravo!! Diane

[Fullsendfilosophy]

I love listening to John Lovett and yourself you guys give such good marital advice. I didn’t have a lot of good examples in my family growing up of what a healthy marriage looks like. I love my wife dearly and I want to make her happy and make our relationship strong. So I started listening to your advice and John’s advice. I quit cursing, I quit drinking years ago, quit tobacco years ago, found Jesus. My marriage feels stronger than ever. Thank you guys.

[TXtoTN]

Good men love to see their wives are Happy but good women know it’s not the men’s job to make them happy. Their is a lot more to this statement but that’s a small way to sum it up. And I also agree with what he said.

[PeacedaStreets]

So well said. Like when a partner says, "whatever you want". No, that is unrealistic and likely passive aggressive. What do you want? What can we both want. It's always been hard for me to verbalize why "whatever you want" feels empty and distancing. Love that an older, masculine, conservative, male is saying it too. I wonder if this will be better understood.

[theouterlimits]

as someone else point this out the last thing any man wants is to struggle at work come back home and struggle some more trying to figure out his wife

[chrisannegresham]

I couldn't agree more! You are supposed to be a team. The other thing I get from that is that one is happy and one is miserable. I have seen that.

[hellybelle]

Happy spouse happy house ❤️ It should be mutual, not just one direction.