This is actually a really common last straw with a difficult person.

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Oh, really? This is actually a common last straw with a difficult person. #goodforthem #childhoodtrauma #couplestherapy #stonewalling #4horsemen #funny

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[emilysnyder]

Because in relationships with a narcissist everyone else ends up in counseling except them because they think they are perfect.

[nayaleezy]

It shows up in other family members like "I'm good bro I don't have time to dig up the past, got a family and job" yet will routinely use you to vent about the same problems that keep recurring in their life over and over and over and over

[goodgrief]

“I don’t want you and the therapist to gang up on me.”
Oh so you KNOW you’re doing something wrong but don’t want to be “bullied” into changing for the sake of other people’s sanity.

[mmcmiddlechild]

In case anyone is confused, I think this is what’s meant in this clip:

[in the black box of text]
the ‘me’ is portraying themselves as a victim
[in the white box of text]
that same person is painting themselves as being generous enough to accompany the partner (that broke up with them) to the therapist in order to ‘fix’ the partner, because clearly the ‘me’ couldn’t be the problem.

I hope this helps.

[annika]

My parents tried to coerce me into going to therapy to “fix me” (aka silence me and make me easy and compliant), telling me they’d done nothing wrong and I was the problem. Actually called me the problem lol. Their plan was to go to occasional therapy sessions as checkins so the therapist would get all the information, to see how I was progressing, and to ensure I was on the right track. Nope. Goodbye.

[mikelobrien]

I know someone who won't go to therapy because they're "a very private person, " but is glad their partner is in therapy and has been for 20+ years. The only issue is that this "private person" is a complete gaslighting nut job. In short, I UNDERSTAND THIS REEL! 😂

[DJ-svxf]

Ex: I'm happy with our marriage. If you're not happy that's your problem.

For 3 years I warned him if things don't change I'm going to leave. They didn't, I did.

[saturdayschild]

I refused to do therapy with the gaslighting ex husband before the divorce. I caught him cheating again and finally saw him for what he was truly. It may have taken 25 years, but waking up to the hidden, vulnerable narcissist that destroyed your self esteem and was after your sanity is a blessing.

He tried to say I was refusing therapy but he wanted to save the marriage while still seeing several other people (with one woman still thinking she is the only). No way. Never do therapy with a narcissist, especially one that has been cheating. I didn’t even want to talk about his problems as there was no point.

[inner_panopticum]

With the narc in my family, everyone ended up in therapy, except for him. Us kids before the age of 20, my mum for 10+ yrs, to cope with severe depression aka "to save the marriage"

[peaceandharmony]

Yup. He said I needed to work on MY problems first, then hed think about it. The relationship was pretty much over after that, even though it went on for a year. Oh, well.

[yugenknows]

I had a couple's therapist tell me the only way we'd get my ex into counseling is to tell him that i have big problems and ask him to be there to help solve my problems. He lasted about 15 minutes into the first session and then the counselor told me that she'd love to keep working with me, but he's beyond help. I did "marriage counseling" by myself for 2 years. 😂

[fireupyourheartfortruth]

Families therapy too. When your the one who hopes for family group therapy when your young.❤

[laurieherman]

I radically accepted he would never go to therapy and then I went no contact.

[aaloha]

My ex with clear charming narcissistic traits used couples therapy to exploit my autism traits and anxiety to convince the therapist there was something ‘wrong’ with me. When I called her out on it, she said I needed individual therapy…. with her 😳 the so-called professional who was clearly enamored with him and took sides 😂 Obviously I ended the therapy, lawyered up and started preparing to end it with my eyes open. Used the prenup and had a preliminary divorce hearing to get him evicted from (legally) me & my daughter’s home. I even found him an apartment so he had a place to go. A few sessions Couples therapy really opened my eyes to the inevitable. 🙏🏼🌺 Thank you Patrick for your posts.

[nathalieduverna]

No therapy for any ex. We didn't marry because i knew they weren't the one. But i got therapy for me😅

[keariewashburn]

Its really hard to talk to someone about the problems because its like Where do you start !? And hell no you cant do it with that person cause they dont communicate anyway at home. A cluster.

[frankievalentine]

Yep. Mine actually told me they would go with me and talk about *our* problems 4 times in 4 days, so I booked the appt. 30 min before the appt over lunch they asked where we were going next, even though they already knew, we'd planned the whole day around it, then exploded with rage and claimed I'd tricked them into going, spent the whole appt with their hat pulled down refusing to engage, saying they were just there to witness me having my own session.

[marianmain]

And the “therapy doesn’t work on me” is a hill they’ll die on because they are fully expecting EVERYONE ELSE to do the work for them. They really are that arrogant as to believe they are above it all. That’s why they find people who will try (and fail) to fix them over and over again until we get smart through our own hard work and get them out of our lives for good. I can see them a mile away now.

[sandywave]

My mom literally thinks any therapist that tells her to consider something different is flat out wrong. And it’s because no one on earth would ever understand her because she’s THAT special…. She’s so special she gets to be abusive because she has a reason and no one else ever could …. She’s wild

[azrielmateria]

I tried with my ex to the point i suggested couples therapy. Tge response " i don't need therapy, the reason I am the way I am is still here" referring to me. 16 years and the lack of respect was palpable.