7 22 2020 What is Normal Anyhow? J369 T+478

It seems like I’ve been fighting my way back to normal for so long I’ve almost forgotten what normal was like. I wonder if that, in fact, is itself normal.

What it has done is present the opportunity for me to think about what normal is really all about. I’m not sure it has the same meaning as it did before my diagnosis. Before treatment. Or, before the stem cell bone marrow transplant.

What I do know now that I’ve broken my left elbow and find myself struggling to do so many simple things, is find that new normal. Things like blowing your nose can become a challenge. Not to mention putting on a pair of jeans. Or struggling to put on compression stockings with just one hand.

It is recognizing that you can’t type with just one hand. At least, not effectively. And, it is recognizing the difficulties in using the dictation software that came with your computer. Which is something I’m struggling with right now.

What you do learn is that writing and speaking are effectively managed by two different portions of your brain. And, that the two don’t often communicate well or even often.

What I’ve learned is that normal is whatever you have become—or, forced yourself to become—accustomed to. Familiar, or comfortable with. Whatever the challenge: like eating, or drinking, or sleeping, or blowing your nose, normal is whatever you have to do to get through the day.

It isn’t easy or comfortable. Nor, is it something any of us can prepare for. But it is something we have to master in order to survive. In order to succeed. And, struggling with any or all of this is just a small part of it!