I'm sorry.

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Sorry, occupational hazard: This is not legal advice, nor can I give you legal advice. I AM NOT YOUR LAWYER. Sorry! Everything here is for informational purposes only and not for the purpose of providing legal advice. You should contact your attorney to obtain advice with respect to any particular issue or problem. Nothing here should be construed to form an attorney-client relationship. Also, some of the links in this post may be affiliate links, meaning, at no cost to you, I will earn a small commission if you click through and make a purchase. But if you click, it really helps me make more of these videos! All non-licensed clips used for fair use commentary, criticism, and educational purposes. See Hosseinzadeh v. Klein, 276 F.Supp.3d 34 (S.D.N.Y. 2017); Equals Three, LLC v. Jukin Media, Inc., 139 F. Supp. 3d 1094 (C.D. Cal. 2015).

Special thanks:
Stock video and imagery provided by Getty Images
Music provided by Epidemic Sound

[PaperCrane]

0/10 Apolology, didn't try even try to manipulate us or lie about his mistakes.

[xcaliber]

Lawyers don't apologize. They start by saying "Granting, without admitting..."

[dmj]

Its not a YouTube apology video if it doesn't start with a sigh.

[weaselwolf]

You forgot "This is the hardest video I've ever had to make."

[duchesnejennifer]

How is this even an apology when you haven't managed to passive-aggressively blame the person you hurt for the fact that you're being made to feel regret, and therefore have to apologize?

[sontapaajokulainen]

The reverse psychology is really strong on this one.

[whiteeyedshadow]

This was the most lawyer-like thing I've ever seen in my life

[kristenswitzer]

You DID open with a sigh, but you’re lacking the dingy grey hoodie and overall disheveled appearance.

[DrLongWang]

You can tell he isn’t really sorry because he doesn’t have a blazer and black background in the thumbnail.

[johnfaber]

Apology dismissed on the grounds that he has failed to say, "The purpose of my channel is to entertain".

[rutlandm]

You forgot: "This is going to be a different kind of video. I'm going to get real and raw." *Single tear glistens*

[jnewcomb]

Best. Clickbait. Ever.

Honestly, I'm not even mad.

[razinhailsharp]

I'm surprised this didn't end with "And if you need to apologize to someone, Ting Mobile is here to help!"

[TankAce]

I love that shot of him looking dramatically out the window

[emberdragon]

"I made a severe and continuous lapse in my judgement"

[mysticdawn]

Perfect intro sigh, but not enough tears. I'll see you in court.

[BrendanBlake]

When you're looking out of the window, you look like you've just realised someone is stealing your car, but they're already halfway down the street so it's not worth running after them.

[kitmakin]

So, as others have noticed you're missing a few things:-
- Dishevelled appearance, casual clothes
- Crying or red splotchy eyes so it appears you just stopped crying
- "It has been so hard to make this video, I've already tried like five times."
- Outright lying and/or denying what you did or excusing it pathetically
- Shifting blame either onto another youtuber or your fans themselves
- Saying you're going to take a break from social media or saying "So I've been taking a break from social media lately" when people haven't noticed any change in activity
- Indicating the audience doesn't know the full story and that you're "too big of a person" to tell them the full story because it would violate someone's privacy

[crocoshark]

"Do not click on the link."

Okay. *Genuinely watches something else instead*

[TheThundercool]

Almost got me there, till it struck me "oh, right, he's a lawyer."