It’s Not Just You. Everyone Hates Dating Apps Now.

Join me to commiserate over how bad dating apps are lol.

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Non exhaustive list of sources:

+ a bunch of FT pieces that are behind paywalls lol

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Continue the convo on:
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[Fads]

Thanks for watching! This is edited from a livestream I did (I do em every Friday at 7.15 est). 

I wanted to add some more context to clarify a couple of things:

- Some people have great experiences on the apps and tbf more power to you if you’re one of them!

-I don’t necessarily think using algorithmic ‘hacks’ to make your profile more visible is necessarily makes you a bad person. The systems of these apps almost mandates that the users respond in that way, so I don’t blame anyone for doing that.

- (This was briefly mentioned in the full stream) LGBT and more niche dating apps like Feeld have actually been doing quite well lately! I think this is largely because they cater to underserved communities and are typically more exhaustive in the criteria users can view. They’re obviously still not perfect tho.

[Galimeer]

Hearing that dating app corporations are suffering in the stock market is one of the rare news stories I hear that genuinely makes me happy

[caesar]

Every time a match is made a dating app loses two customers

[_Axel_G_]

Another thing to be noticed is the total lack of politeness in dating apps compared to real life conversations: when you're in a dating app you're no more a person but just a talking photo, the slightest imperfection instantly transforms you in something to be discarded without explanations needed. And this happens in the occasions where you're actually able to start a conversation, which as we all know, are ever more rare

[Exo-riah]

No background music, just informed speaking with a nice voice to listen to. Perfect

[JosephTerterian]

I hate dating apps. I always end up feeling drained and I end up not meeting anyone because people match and don’t talk. I feel ignored and rejected. Even after matching. It’s horrible out there.

[ethanodell]

Love how everybody just said “Okay, screw this” and just stopped using dating apps at the same time

[lainy]

in my experience talking to people on dating apps feels very shallow. it’s discouraging because as much as I dislike dating apps, meeting people organically feels more and more difficult

[thearchtect]

Everything in life has turned into one big subscription. Everything sits behind a pay wall! No ticky....No laundry

[marcusmoonstein]

What nobody talks about is the psychological effect of option overload. Psychologists have tested this and found that when people have too many options to choose from they take longer to make a decision, are more likely to not make a decision, and are less satisfied with the decision they made when they do make one. Paradoxically, you're more likely to find a match when you only have a dozen options to choose between than if you have a thousand.

In the old days someone might only date a handful of people before choosing one to marry. Today it's not uncommon to hear of people going on multiple dates per week.

[aaronkennedy]

Social media is hands down one of the worst modern inventions ever.

[mementovivere]

Why can't a non-profit make an app that is actually meant to be deleted? Not everything in this world needs to be run by for-profit companies, you know.

[GrunkleSpam]

The golden age of dating sites helping people make connections is long gone. If you want to try to meet people, you're better off physically going out to places and becoming a regular at places like bars, clubs, hobby groups, book clubs, etc.

Dating apps don't want you to meet your match because you using it forever gets the company more money and more data to sell.

[Tamarocker]

I hated dating apps over a decade ago and stopped using them entirely. Glad to see people finally smartened up.

[HeavyMetalNerd]

The thing is...
I encountered so much shit there. Women who wanted to test me, played with my feelings just for fun, kept me hanging on forever, wanted money, wanted to marry me for a German citizenship, wanted me as a chauffeur, asked me at least 7 or 8 times for a date only to cancel it a day before it was supposed to happen and so on.
In 6 years I had like 4 dates with 3 women and 2 of them were scammers like I mentioned before. I was just so burned out and tired of it...
The saddest part was that those women even seemed to have similar interests to me like being a metalhead, playing musical instruments, watching Star Trek, playing videogames and so on. Most of them just seemed like cool rocker/metalheads/goths/punks and/or nerds. So I was already searching for people compatible to me. Not just for looks. I know I'd need more than that for a stable relationship.
Still didn't work out.
Fuck that bullshit.
I don't want it anymore.

[rutgerhauser]

Hinge: "designed to be deleted"
Also Hinge: <Owned by the same people as tinder>

Yeah... no.

[vybinvincent]

Dating apps are so bad that I’d rather get rejected doing a cold approach 100 times than swiping a 100 times and finding nobody

[karishajohnson]

Dating apps being just as expensive as dating if not more is just crazy. What a scam

[FFW]

Male to female ratio on tinder is an estimated 16-1 and bumble is not much better at 13-1 with the rest around the same or worse. Those ratios along with women only swiping right on average 10% of the time, you'd have to enjoy being miserable to even use them at this point. Just like gambling, you will never beat the odds. The player will always lose and the house will always profit.

[riffcrypt]

They are cartoonishly horrific for 99.9% of users. Men just get ignored, and nowhere, while women get used and abused by men obscenely out of their league who lead them on until they get in their pants.