National Coming Out Day Story 2015 - Coming Out at 30

Raised in a religious home, Dan briefly shares his story of coming out at a relatively older age of 30. While dealing with suicidal thoughts and depression, he finally realized that being gay didn't mean he had to lose his faith. Dan Barbour, now 32, was a contestant on a major network reality show, was in a TV commercial promoting the film SILVER LININGS PLAYBOOK with Jennifer Lawrence and Bradley Cooper, and has also been included as a part of national and international human rights and political campaigns. He lives in Massachusetts, owns a trivia event company, and works full-time with youth in a public library.

[Kewlbeanse]

After what you told me I pushed passed my fear and came out to my sister today. Her reaction was a thousand times better than I imagined it would be. Thanks for posting your story and advice! :)

[eddiegardner]

The most important thing you said was “You are wasting your life, living in the closet.” That is very true. I wasted 39 years being asexual, then 26 more trying to be a happily married man with a wife. I have spent the last 5 years with my partner, finally living who I always was intended by nature to be. When I look backwards, I recall a line from the movie Papillon, “I accuse you of a wasted life, the penalty for which is death.” I think of all those wasted years, and how few good healthy ones remain before I die. If you are gay, the time to start living like you are gay is right now, whenever you realize it to be true. Even if you are scared that no one will love you; the ones that matter will. It’s not 1960. No one is going to kill you or eat you for being gay any more. It’s not illegal to be gay and in the military, or to kiss the man you love, or have sex with your same sex partner or husband. Don’t be like I was and waste the majority of your life being alone. Come out, come out, wherever you are, and live your life unembarrassed and free.

[Kewlbeanse]

I've watched lots of coming out stories on YouTube but I have to say that your story is probably the one i can relate to the most. I do want to come out but I just gotta figure out the best way to go about it, your video has definitely given me something to think about though.

[josephmillraney]

Daniel, I came out in my 40s, under less that ideal circumstances, but hiding just does so much damage to yourself.  I am uniquely ME, and that's what should shine through.  My sexuality is only (oft repeated) one small part of me...there is so much MORE to know about me.  I wish that I would have had YouTube to research before I came out.  I'm proud of all the young people who have such immense courage to do what took me years.  You too!  Proud of you!  Thank you for reading this.

[LetsGoKato]

You don't look like you're 32 at all.

[sjknight]

Thank you for your awesome outlook on life and religion. It is so sad that so many people think a person has to choose between being gay or believing in God. Living a "lie" is physically and emotionally draining and ultimately will usually end up hurting the loved ones you are trying to protect. Hope to see more videos from you in the future 👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻

[cowboykent]

Howdy from the lone star state of Texas sending you lots of love, hugs and kisses

[billTO]

Could you give us an update now, Dan?
Its Augusr 2023. ❤

[chillbrutha]

I'm 33. Only out to a few people. My family still has no idea.

[cynthiaderuyter]

I'm not your mom so this may sound odd but, I'm proud of you!

[hintonwhitehead]

I admire your courage. Sent a Facebook friend request but understand if you prefer not to accept.

[garygary]

I just want to say good for you on coming out!!! I know what it feels like to come out I came out much later then even you! Anyway I want to say God made us gay for a reason!!! I don't know why the Lord choose me to be gay but he did and I no longer think it's a sin! God doesn't make mistakes and gay people are NO mistake!!! Just be a good person and be yourself!!! I am proud of who I am and I'm can tell your proud of yourself that's great! I wish you the best!!!

[michaelmoore]

You are beautiful on the inside, great communication skills, you are reaching out to others, very brave, and of course gorgeous. Family and friends should be proud but more important you should keep your head up be proud of self. With those looks be careful you will attract many and some are gonna be users and abusers. Wishing you the best, I am a fan.

[presleecarson]

You’re handsome And an awesome guy ever keep being you, you deserve the best in life love is love 💜💜💜🏳️‍🌈

[dubon]

I send all my love and support to all the LGBT people of the world ❤🧡💛💚💙💜 You all are important and very valuable even though we live in a world that makes you all believe otherwise. Remember always be proud of who you are 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈 You all make from this world a better place ❤🧡💛💚💙💜 LGBT people are a rainbow of love in a world full of hate, but with difference of our straight partners, we all are united over a same flag 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈 The flag of LGBT love ❤🧡💛💚💙💜 And we all must be united against hate, violence, discrimination and intolerance ❤🧡💛💚💙💜 We all are like a great family and we must fight to destroy hate ❤🧡💛💚💙💜 Remember, LGBT people is love and love always wins ❤🧡💛💚💙💜 I don't care about your race, nationality, biological gender, health condition, religion or any other condition ❤🧡💛💚💙💜 If you are an LGBT person you have all my love and my support ❤🧡💛💚💙💜 You guys are not alone in this fight and all the LGBT people of all over the world needs to understand this messagge, cause just united we will win against hate and we don't have to allow that nothing divide us. Never feel bad of who you are and never allow that this cruel world change who you really are or turn off your light and your shine ❤🧡💛💚💙💜 You all born that way and remember LGBT people of all the world, at the end, love always wins ❤🧡💛💚💙💜

[sarifa]

hi...
very nice video thanks for sharing it
i feel so lost and i am so afraid to come out myself i am 29 now...
from Muslims family from Syria and living in Germany now
i live in Germany for a more than a year now and already feel so alone
i want to come out to my family but i almost know that i will lose so i am really stuck in my mind :/

[brucesarver]

Glad you are still with us, too! Yes- its the way you were 'wired' at birth- part of 'balance of nature' <IMHO>

[Jbandes]

Religion causes so much missary. Get some books from the author Jonathan Boswell. He makes a very convincing argument that there is gay love between Jonathan and Saul in the Bible.

[DJMrTwister]

Ha! I got out of closet at 30 as well. I guess it is better later than never. Finally got my peace. Religios background as well, and based on same word from Bible almost castrate myself when was 16.

[ees]

Soooo handsome and my age. Would definitely date someone like you:)