For Twenty Year Olds Who Have Never Been Loved

This is a poem by one of my favorite writers Meggie Royer, everyone should check her blog.

I hope this video helps people feel a little less alone and a little more hopeful about the future. I want to add that it's truly a privilege to combine Meggie Royer's poems with my passion of capturing the things around me, I urge you to check more of her work because it's truly amazing. Lastly, the people on the video are my friends and I thank them for allowing me to film them.

Forever Humbled,
a kid with a camera


Second channel

🔰References

-The narrator is Iness J.
Her email.

-The music is this:
Declaration - Johannes Bornlof

🔰Communities

Thanks to Chubbz for helping me with the audio

🔰My equipment:
I film handheld with a Panasonic Lumix
G80
GX80
📷Olympus M.Zuiko Digital 45mm F1.8 Lens

🔰for twenty-year-olds who have never been loved by Meggie Royer

All of a sudden two decades have passed and you still have not kissed anyone with tongue, or kissed anyone at all for that matter, or had a 3 AM conversation with someone who would rather look into your eyes for ten minutes straight than talk. You have never worn a lover’s sweater or “forgotten” it at home in your bedroom just so you would have an excuse to see them again. You have never even stood face-to-face with someone who makes your hands shake so hard it feels like they’re both having a separate anxiety attack.

This causes you much guilt and self-blame and sadness but above all, an overwhelming curiosity. Are you really that ugly, that unwanted, that uninteresting, that boring, that no one, absolutely no one, has ever looked at you like the only thing on earth?

The answer is no. The better answer is that someone out there, somewhere in the world, is “wondering what it’s like to meet someone like you,” and they have two decades worth of love stored in their veins like a shoot-‘em-up drug, and they’re just about ready to inject it into someone else’s bloodstream. All you have to do is roll up your sleeves and wait for it to happen.

At times you felt so lonely you could stand at the edge of a cliff with nothing beneath you but air and grass and a long, long way down, and you’d still feel emptier than that canyon itself. Maybe you even danced with yourself alone in your room a few times, arms outstretched around a ghost, pretending someone else’s hands were on your waist, someone else’s eyes boring into yours.

Or maybe you fell temporarily in love with strangers on public transportation, fell in love with anybody who so much as accidentally brushed your hand on the way past. For you, falling in love with dozens of people a day was a coping mechanism for not having anyone to love you in return. But people are not eggs and falling in love with a dozen of them does not mean your shell will remain uncracked. One day you’re going to hit the point where you’re so desperate for human contact that you’re going to snap in half and all your love will bleed out like egg yolk.

But someone out there is eating a bowl of Ramen noodles right now, or putting on slippers, or settling into bed. They are doing all the normal things that you’ve done in your own life. They are just like you. They have cellulite and extra fat in all the wrong places and goals and fears and doubts and bad handwriting.

The truth is that they are just like you, and being just like you, they’re looking for a lover too. They’re what you might call a soulmate.

They think they’re all alone in feeling the way they do, but you’re really both two halves of a whole.

And one day you’ll meet them, bump into them on the street, and your two halves will be put together, and you’ll make one.

[meggieroyer]

Thank you so much again illneas for creating such a beautiful and moving video of one of my poems! Such a beautiful color scheme and stunning music. It is such an interesting experience watching this video now as a 26-year-old after writing the poem when I was 19 and lonely and afraid. Looking back at the date I wrote this, it was only 2 months before I entered my very first relationship! What timing. I am hopeful that it provides comfort to others, no matter what age you are. Love will come when you least expect it, and it will be beautiful.

[justmahmud]

Sometimes I wonder how is it feel like to listen a love song when you're in relationship with someone

[kaeyana]

It hits even more differently when you're older than 20

[simantakalita]

"Maybe you even danced with yourself alone in your room" is the ordinary sentence that made the poem extraordinary ❤️

[scottmacquarrie]

I remember being exactly like this at 20, now 32 years later I’m in love, married, kids, I’m loved, but still remember how it felt, ❤️to all who struggle

[rohitagrawal]

This feels like it was specially written for me.
- a 20 year old

[Gabi____]

I saw the title, and it made me cry. To be honest, it hurts even more when someone had given you hope and then took it away from you.

[fireflythinking]

Pleeeease, don't feel guilty for not being in a relationship, and don't rush yourself into one with anyone that will accept you. Wait and see, you'll know it when it feels right

[sangeetaboruah]

To be alone and to feel alone - two different things . The former gives you clarity and the latter gives you sorrow.

[anonymousmanifestor]

This made me cry. I finally feel less alone knowing that I was never the only one feeling this way.

[clab]

I turn 20 in just over 3 months, and I relate to every. single. line. It hurts unbelievably bad. I’ve never been held, I’ve never held hands, I’ve never been kissed, I’ve never been looked at like nothing else around me mattered. as I get older it gets harder and harder to believe it’ll ever happen.

[elaiza]

Holy shit. It felt like it’s talking to me directly.

[jilliandawnmanalastas]

This poetry really describes me, a 20 years old nbsb and a hopeless romantic, falling in love with strangers everyday.

[johngreen]

At 22, I'm really conflicted about the whole thing. Part of me wants to find someone to share stories with. Part of me wants to have someone I can hug in the middle of the night, when I feel like everything is crumpling apart. But another part of me can't see this happening. I'm not a perfect person and I have so much negativity weighing me down, that there is no way I could unload that onto someone else, just to ease the burden on my shoulders. I'm still picking up the pieces of myself and I can't expect someone else to cut their fingers on my shards.

I was blown away by the section about falling for strangers on the street, as a self preservation method, but it's a bit different for me. I find solace in characters. I relate myself to them, imagining potential conversations as we each open up to each other about our problems, before looking for some way to resolve them together. I'm not so much interested in a relationship as I am in starting a companionship, where anything can be discussed, for it to be a safe space to open up and heal.

[ayame]

22 year old university student who has never been in a relationship, never had her first kiss, never had her first hug, never even held hands with anyone, never had a guy looked at her like she's the only most beautiful thing in the whole damn world and never been loved romantically by anyone.

It gets lonely tbh

[samikshadhote]

It's not because you're ugly or boring or unwanted! It's because you were busy in creating your better self not giving a damn about anyone. Be proud of yourself. Great things take time.

[pandarosie]

I remember hearing this poem just around when I turned 20, sad, unloved, a child, a nobody. I felt the words like a mirror, revealing the gloomy truth of my own life. Unexperienced and naive. I truly believed I would never fall in love, that not a single human being would love a creature like me. Someone who never speaks her mind, someone who doesn't enjoy living. Someone who often thinks about death. I was told I'm too young to understand love, or life in general. But, I wanted to feel the feeling, even just for a bit. Just messing around with love, experiencing it as a young girl. But I was too closed minded, and still am.
But then, one day, I met a guy at work. Who constantly tried to talk to the silent me. And it just happened.
The year 2020, may not be the best year in history, but it certainly was a big year for me.
I felt so many new emotions, that were hiding inside me. Anger, pain, sadness. Love and warm.

Now I, a 22 soon to be 23, am a year into a relationship I never thought I'd be in. Sometimes sad, sometimes happy. Didn't really know what to expect, or how to behave. Still scared of contacting. But a bit more open about life.
Loneliness is a terrifying friend. It never shows you life as it is. I was alone and lonely. Lacking love that now fills my small heart.
I truly feel in love, and loved, and the sparks never fade. Every once in a while, I tell myself how lucky I am.
My partner and I fight more lately, but it doesn't make it less.
Now I can proudly say, that I love loving love.
I love you Leon. Forgive me for being blunt and not being able to convey my mind properly, but I truly, fully love you with all of my heart.
Thank you.

[seemranhoro]

The heart knows when the search is over.

[poem]

“Sometimes you climb out of bed in the morning and you think
I'm not going to make it
but you laugh inside
remembering all the times you've felt that way”

~ Charles Bukowski

[hankaviolet]

”and when nobody wakes you up in the morning and when nobody waits for you at night and when you can do whatever you want — what do you call it, freedom or loneliness?”
— charles bukowski