Women, what was your worst run in with a creep?

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[danadecker]

Telling a woman to stick up for herself is easier said than done. Just ignoring or even playing along is sometimes the safest option. Instead of telling women how to behave, what about saying " guys, we have to do better. Call out your guy friends if they do this stuff"? This is what we need men to do. Not give women advice on how to be a better victim.

[profnkb]

Please don't shame people by saying "she caved" instead of being strategic. Every situation is unique and there are times when compliance is the best strategy and fighting will get you killed. You need to make the call based on surroundings, personality of the attacker, available resources, etc. I guarantee you I would have been gutted and left in the woods if I had not "caved, " lightly soothed him, and acted casual during an assault. Grateful to have been raised on a farm where I learned how to manage an upset animal. By the way, this wasn't someone I knew. He was a stranger, armed with a knife.

[chrisgames]

I need to be honest
Saying "Stand up for yourself" to S.A victims is one of the dumbest things you can say
It's a shocking and scary situation and people freeze up
Massive props to the 12 year old who was brave enough to tell him off
The reason alot are freezing up or don't say anything is because we are afraid more can happen if we stand up for ourselves
I know it wasn't with ill intent that you said it, but please be mindful, we know we should, but sometimes we can't because of fear

[aucarii]

Narrator is trying to be an ally, but is actually perpetuating toxic expectations by focusing on the women's behavior in these interactions... we should not be expected to defend ourselves from creepy men. It is not your fault if you're not comfortable confronting them. Teach your sons to do better rather than teaching your daughters they have to watch out.

[Cavernvision]

THIS is why women say they would gladly choose the bear! So anyone who’s still confused/offended by the bear vs man discussion, maybe now you’ll understand.

As for my own stories, I have so many that it’s difficult to remember that many. The ones that stick out? Here are a few:

I remember when I was 12 and had a paper route, this man approached me who was from a different country (I think it was Pakistan). I hadn’t met many foreigners in my little town, other than my piano teacher and her family, who were from India.
He told me about how he missed his family, etc, and I felt very sad for him. In fact, in my mind I was picturing having him over to my family’s for Thanksgiving which was coming up.
Then, I guess we were in front of his apartment building (he’d been walking with me on my route), and asked if I wanted to come up to see his place, saying that he’s not had anyone over yet because he didn’t have any friends in the area. Well, he played my heart strings very well so I went with him. The second we walked into his place I realised my mistake. He showed me around and stopped in his bedroom. Me, as stunned as a deer in headlights, followed him and sat down next to him when he patted the mattress next to him. I had my newspaper bag between us.
He began to rub my back, asking if I had a boyfriend, telling me he thought I was pretty, and asked if he could kiss me.
I said, “No”, and that I’d like to leave please, as I still needed to finish delivering the newspapers.

Thank goodness he let me go!! I think of this moment often and realise just how lucky I got. From that moment on, I was no longer naive.

I have so many more stories of being followed, grow harassed, touched, lunged at and had men force their tongues down my throat when I didn’t even give them a reason to think I wanted them to even kiss me. I had, on an almost daily basis when living in Denver, men approaching me at bus stops offering me a ride. I’ve had so many noises and comments or “compliments” thrown at me, and then was immediately threatened when I didn’t respond as the man wanted. I’d been groped, ogled, and clearly looked at as though I was nothing more than body parts, even while I was visibly pregnant!!

It’s only now, at age 49, and living in quiet Denmark, that I don’t have to live this way anymore. It’s so freeing to not feel like an object to men!

[gingerr_rroots]

Narrator I know you mean well but shaming girls and women for not standing up for themselves is not the way to go.

Freezing and/or fawning are trauma responses just like fight or flight. Shock can cause all logic to escape you when you’re being victimised.

“Why didn’t you stand up for yourself” or “Why didn’t you say something?” are some of the many reasons why many women never report incidents of assault and abusive relationships.

Somehow, the blame always falls onto the victim. Even though it’s well documented that abusive men tend to be violent and end women’s lives regardless of how we react.

[spiralthehelix]

Dear viewers: though you shouldn’t have to protect yourself, we live in a world where you need to. Learn how to defend yourself physically and mentally. Don’t lead them to your house, give them any info, and don’t be afraid to make a scene. Don’t let yourself or others tell you that your experience didn’t happen or allow it to be downplayed. Everyone deserves to live without this fear.

[MoriKitsune]

I get you feel like you're really saying something commenting on how all these women and girls dealt with the men creeping on them, but recognize that at the end of the day their strategies were successful- they made it out alive. That is the goal.

You're really going on about "yeah, fight em, show em who's boss!" But you need to realize that, often, men will turn violent and *kill* the women who reject them. Even something as simple as a "no" has been the trigger for a man to murder a woman, let alone cases where the women have deliberately escalated the situation to a hostile encounter.

Every single situation needs to be considered independently. Sometimes the best strategy is to ignore, sometimes the best strategy is to play nice until you can run, and sometimes the best strategy is to throw the first proverbial punch.

Stop criticizing and telling women to always fight first; that won't always work. It's very victim- blamey, because nobody can control their panic response. "If only OP had fought first, she couldve avoided-" dude, she was in fight/flight! You can't control how your body reacts in a situation like that! It's extremely patronizing.

[lalamyne]

Hey everyone, please completely ignore the narrator's advice on story 64.
He said, and i quote, "that's what you gotta do, ladies, most of these creeps will fold up like a cheap tent if you just confront them. They're as unmanly and as craven as you could possibly imagine. Just KICK THEM in the nuts, CHALLENGE them, GO AFTER them".

Okay, let's not give these kind of shitty advices maybe?
While being assertive and firm is great in most situations, being confrontational and aggressive is clearly very dangerous and could set the harasser off leading to violence on their part, especially if they feel ashamed and challenged.
Instead, when possible, reach out for other people's help and try your best to stay as calm as possible. I know it's hard, but don't take rushed decisions because things will get worse so quickly. And i say this as a survivor.

This kind of tough-man machist "just kick their asses to assert dominance" argument is ridiculous and so dangerous. You can't just solve everything with being violent and aggressive, especially when we women are usually smaller and get caught off guard.
Being able to defend yourself is amazing and can save your life, but so can learn to control and deescalate the situation. Think about your safety first.
Avoid giving your personal details such as name, phone number and address, and don't beat yourself too much if you accidentally do.
These are awful situations where we would just like to be able to have our routine without thinking of being followed, walk alone in peace without a worry, get groceries without being touched, have a drink without it being spiked, get home safe. It's never your fault.

Very superficial take of course, I'm not even surprised coming from the "boys will be boys" and "women and men can't be friends" narrator. I'm so confused as to why this theme has been given to this guy. Just let him talk about steaks and sports, ffs.

[josevitorlobo]

Story 24 "you think it would stop after a restraining order" narrator at the end "weird they waited until the end to contact the police" what the f*** dude?

[DrgnLdyLizzie]

I am more than willing to play "Mom" in a situation where someone doesn't feel comfortable around someone. I hope I never have to, but I keep an eye out just in case.

[annika]

The hotel one, that hotel is in a really bad way if banning one customer will take it under. Also, the "suck it up" manager should have been made to "suck it up" himself with a police report every time this guy comes in to harass staff.

[Longingtobesomeone]

I'm not going to listen to this narrator victimblame for over an hour. I'm just skipping this narrator in the future. Yuck.

[glcol]

Many years after being sa'd, I was sent to a psychiatrist to be evaluated for PTSD as a result of that attack. The "dr" refused to believe me because I had received no broken bones in the attack as I should have fought back if it really happened. Fought back? I was so scared I was barely breathing and my memory took years to come back completely. You see why many sa's are never reported, it only takes one person talking like that to you to just want to give up...

[roberthunter]

My mom was someone people went after, back in the '70s. She then raised 4 boys and taught us a few things, as she abhorred men like these. Just a few things, in no particular order:

1. No means no. Don't bother her, don't try to guilt her. If you're friends, stay friends.
2. Just because a woman dresses a particular way doesn't mean she's "asking for it". Though she may be looking for attention, it doesn't necessarily mean she's looking to attract you.
There are more, sure. Just what I remembered. She wanted to raise gentlemen, not jerks who can't take "no" for an answer. She never had to teach us on dating those underage.

[EmbalmerEmi]

I was 18-19 but I looked WAY younger than I actually was, I was at K-mart with my family.

At some point I sit down on a bench with my mom nearby, we were waiting for the rain to stop so we can go to our car. There was this man standing next to the bench and he creeped closer to me even though I was avoiding eye contact for my dear life.
He starts asking me questions like how old I was, If I was a boy or a girl and if he could have a hug ect. Being SUPER creepy but being very sheltered and autistic I had no idea how to handle the situation.

Thankfully my mom noticed what was going on and told him to get the hell away from me, once he realized that I wasn't alone he quickly left the area.
Honestly even though I wasn't a child at the time that guy was definitely a P-file looking for someone to take advantage of, It's an experience that's stuck with me for years . 😣

[thewallflowerchild]

they get upset and abuse you or worse for confronting them. Depends on the creep.

[meredithjohnson]

This topic could probably be 10 hours long.

My YouTube friendly story- I was in target and I felt someone watching me and kept an eye on him as he was following me step for step. As a young black girl I’m used to being followed by loss prevention except he was kinda disheveled and had this weird look in his eyes. After I checked out I had to go to the craft store next door and as soon as I stepped in I felt that feeling again. It was comparable to what I think an animal being hunted must feel. I turned completely around and faced the guy- he looked shocked like he didn’t think I had noticed him following me and walked back out after only taking a few steps in. I was thoroughly creeped out. He had followed me from one store to another it was terrifying.

[brassbrass]

Had a policy one of the places I worked: buddy system & any women working after dark should be parked by the front door. Found out it was because 2 underage counter girls, were almost kidnapped, and one of the other women got beaten pretty badly, trying to stop it... A customer slammed her truck into the guys' car before things got too bad. Talk about girl code...

[DamnAIITheNamesAreTaken]

Bruh the first one caught me off guard 💀