Is it Shyness or Social anxiety? +QUIZ

I get the questions: "How do I know if I have social anxiety?" or "What is the difference between shyness and social anxiety?" a lot. In this video I'm talking you through social anxiety versus shyness. The first part in social anxiety support is understanding what social anxiety is. And how it differs from someone who is shy or introverted. In this video I'll talk you through the difference between social anxiety, introversion and shyness, then provide a quiz so you can figure out what you struggle with, then offer social anxiety helpful tips.

I'm Kati Morton, a licensed therapist making Mental Health videos!

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0:00 Introduction
0:43 A marked fear or anxiety about one or more social situations in which the individual is exposed to possible scrutiny by others.
1:00 Fear that we will act in a way or show anxiety symptoms that will be negatively evaluated
1:09 Social situations which almost always provoke fear or anxiety
3:32 WHAT IS SHYNESS?
6:51 SHYNESS VS SOCIAL ANXIETY QUIZ
7:06 Does your anxiety or fear about seeing other people keep you from doing the things you love?
7:12 Do you feel your anxiety or shyness makes it hard for you to do what you need to do to succeed in life?
7:20 Does your fear or anxiety feel SO overwhelming that you sometimes have a panic attack?
7:29 Have you ever had to call in sick to school or work because of your anxiety?
7:43 HOW TO HEAL FROM SOCIAL ANXIETY

[emily_kim]

Can you be both? Be shy but also have social anxiety?

[batman]

My anxiety comes from the fear of running out of things to say or saying something stupid. Unlike many people with social anxiety, I actually excel at public speaking, but one-on-one conversations stifle me. When public speaking, I can prepare and rehearse. I’m also usually speaking about something I have a lot of knowledge about. In one-on-one conversation, however, things are a lot more spontaneous and random, leaving more room for error.

[twiztidmomma]

As a child, my anxiety was so bad I couldnt raise my hand to use the bathroom because everyone would stare, causing me to have accidents almost daily. This wasnt addressed properly (grew up in the 90s, born in 88) because my parents never really believed in that stuff and chalked it up to being lazy. I didn't realize it was anxiety until MUCH later (early 20s) and even now in my 30s its still hard to use the restroom in public places. And my organs are paying the price for the beating i gave it holding it all the time. Made school pretty rough. I dont blame anyone for it though. They (my parents) really didnt know the seriousness of it back then. Just have to keep moving forward.

I still have pretty bad anxiety now, with a constant fear of being disliked. I just keep the people that do enjoy my company close and ignore the rest to the best of my ability.

Good luck out there guys. Keep your head up.

[_KungFuBarbie_]

It wasn’t until college that I really understood my social anxiety. I was able to get along well enough in school until then. I actively avoided going to class because of how fearful I got. It completely wrecked my grades.

[thirtycats]

When I was young, I was usually shy and very awkward. I didn’t want to be that way. I wanted to be funny, outgoing, liked, etc. I’m not sure what category that would put me in. I don’t feel extremely anxious about social situations… more avoidant. But I do feel my shyness and awkwardness has been a hinderance in pursuing my dreams. I’m HORRIBLE at networking and self promotion.

[aspiretoinspire]

Shyness is a personality trait. Many people who are shy do not have the negative emotions and feelings that accompany social anxiety disorder. They live a normal life, and do not view shyness as a negative trait.😄😄

[GibranEscobell]

When we stop seeking validation we do not worry about what others think about us. You need to detach from the outcome, it does not affect me if the other person does not like me or thinks, this takes away all anxiety from the conversation. Also if you go to an interaction with a high level of endorphins it will reduce the amount of anxiety and negative emotions that show up, I achieved this through meditation.

[ryoku]

I think I'm a shy person who deals with social anxiety, but I've been unable to separate the two. There are traits that I absolutely love about myself that would be attributed so shyness, but I have dealt with panic attacks and my anxiety getting in the way of work and relationships. I really appreciate this video for explaining the difference between the two. It's helped me put a few things into perspective.

[Gvcardoso]

I do believe a shy person will have social anxiety as well. A shy person will be put in situations like presenting for class, go to weddings, and so on and that will bring social anxiety. A shy person will choose to do activities inside the comfort zone and get anxious every time she needs to get out of the comfort zone. I am shy and suffer from social anxiety because both are connected. We tend to get exhausted in social situations because it consumes a lot of our energy up to a point we just have to leaves It is good for us to challenge ourselves and go out of our comfort zone. Meditations helps and seeing a professional definitely will help as well. Experience and time will help us knowing ourselves better and make life easier. Being shy and socially anxious can be a nightmare.

[annetteprice]

What helped me is understanding that I have developmental trauma. It turns out growing up with bullying parents makes you anxious about interacting with others. Who knew?

Also, CBT will only be a bandaid if you have trauma underlying your social anxiety. I’m surprised Kati didn’t touch on that. I spent years doing CBT for social anxiety and other issues. It didn’t actually resolve them. Trauma work has allowed me to make real progress.

[nala]

For years my parents always said I was "just shy" But as I became an adult I thought '" nope there is more to this then shyness" scrolling through Youtube one day I found a video with Social Anxiety as the topic, I watched it and I was like "OMG that's me!!" lol it named what you said Kati, also I find another thing people with social anxiety struggle with is the phone, I struggle to answer my phone, I can't stand making phone calls not even to my own family members, ( I do it though, just to try an get myself out of this), but it's hard, everyday is a contsant struggle to do everyday stuff, my Mom just now is just starting to understand what I go through.. I try and explain, but she's far from having either shy or having social anxiety. Anyhow I'm just happy I know what I have and I'm trying to get better from it, and video's like yours do help, so Thank you Kati :)

[Toysandgiggles]

I have social anxiety and i am a hard core introvert. Life can be so difficult sometimes. People expectations are overwhelming.

[ILikeBigCatsAndICannotLie]

I’m pretty sure I have both, mostly shyness— however I never thought about social anxiety being treatable, but rather a personal failing of sorts. Thanks to this video I see it differently now.

[spiffocyte]

I have social anxiety but I’m shy. I feel like that makes it worse because I want to be around friends and people but it’s exhausting to be so keyed up and anxious when even AROUND them. When I’m at work I’m outgoing but exhausted by the end of my shift.

[yin]

I’m like 90% sure I have both. I’ve been at the same k-12 school for 8 years, so when I recently moved to my new school for junior year, I finally had to meet new people for the first time in so long.
Making friends as a teen is so much harder than as an 8 year old. I do like getting to know people but I get so scared that I’m going to be ignored, they might think I’m weird, intrusive, or just anything negative.
I don’t like being the center of attention all that much, and do stick to people I’ve been friends with for so long.

[pokemonmusiclover]

Im pretty sure I have social anxiety. I think it's due to my stutter( that I didn't know it WAS a stutter until I was about 17 or 18). Also I have hyperhydrosis( I ALSO didn't know what this was until I was 19) and was bullied for it in middle through high school, my mean stepbrother spread rumors that I didn't shower and people believed him so I lost friends. I'd NEVER met anyone with either of these until I was done with high school. I only knew I stuttered when I heard Brandon from my favorite band Crown The Empire talk about how he stutters and thought "wait wait wai hold on- I think exactly like this and talk exactly like him! What." And the hyperhydrosis well, apparently you're NOT supposed to sweat through your clinical strength deoderant when doing nothing but sit in one spot all day when the house is like 73 degrees... Health classes in texas are horrible and I do seriously think we should talk about these common mental/ physical illnesses that kids could be bullied for.

[cynzix]

I'm not so sure I agree with Kati this time, because it all applies to shy introverts only.
I'm a shy extrovert, meaning that I love social interactions and being the center of attention, but my shyness impedes me to actively seeking them.
At the same time, I don't experience a fear as you described, but instead a feeling of "wasted potential" of getting getting to know people more, have experiences in life and a generalized fomo.
For this motive, even though I can function normally in social situations, I still suffer because of my shyness.

[KelsonBurnsSenior]

Kati, Thank you so much for this video. Anticipatory anxiety is a problem for me. It seems to run in my family. It stops me from doing a lot of social things, which is okay because I'm an introvert anyway. However, I have learned to plow right through it regarding doctors appointments and other important events, etc. It can be exhausting.
Nice biceps btw: I need to work out more. : )

[onlyconnect]

I think we use such adjectives such as "Shy" and "gregarious" as ways to simplify & make sense of our complex selves. But if ones "shyness" genuinely feels debilitating & is preventing you living more full life then it Def worth seeking professional help like I'm now doing. Thanks for video! ♥️

[cateclism]

I remember my first date. I was 24. I was so anxious I nearly threw up a few times