WATCH OUT! This is how narcissists DOMINATE in therapy

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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.

THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.

[debdebandrews]

Oh boy, never go to a therapist with a narcissist. They spin everything. And most therapists are not trained to see through their crap. Trust me, it actually makes things worse.

[arenee]

Therapist to me: "Tell me what is happening in your marriage." So I explained how my now ex wouldn't let me spend time with my friends, insisted on accompanying me everywhere, would go out every night with the boys, would come home drunk on Fridays and Saturdays and vomit on the floor, leaving me to clean it up, would not shovel the snow or mow the lawn, did nothing with our children, etc. Then he turned to my now ex and asked him what was wrong in the marriage. He replied, "I don't know why she's so unhappy. I'm happy."

That total lack of empathy is what caused me to divorce him.

[DaveJohnson-Php]

I shouldn't have to pay for a therapist for weeks or a month for them to finally realize they're being conned by the narcissist, and that the therapist was playing a part of the triangulation. Now that's the seven circles of hell.

[gjrojas]

When I got my ex wife to agree to go to therapy, I thought that was going to be the first step to fixing our relationship, but we only ended up going to two sessions. How wrong I was! I still remember very vividly the look on her face when the therapist started “agreeing” too much with me and started asking her questions like: “do you not see how that makes him feel”, or “tell me about you”. The look on her face was one of: “I can’t believe you’re putting me in this position. This is about you, not about me”. It wasn’t until I started learning about narcissism, years after those two sessions, that I realized that she only agreed to going to therapy to show me and the therapist that **I** was the problem, but she didn’t like it one bit when the therapist started digging into her. You could see that there was nothing in that void other than anger and frustration.

[joanmarie]

Our therapist was totally duped. I was constantly told do you understand how he feels. You need to do x when he’s triggered. One day I got up said thank you and never came back

[karenbrummond]

My therapist totally betrayed me and my children to the abuser! I should have sued her.

[DelphineTheWorstBladeEver]

I had someone in treatment two weeks ago describe their relationship with their parents. So I went up and requested we watch your videos on narcissistic abuse and what it looks like. I held him while he cried and shook and realized what he was in. Now he can start his healing all because of you.

[michellejohnson]

A relationship with a narcissist is fundamentally hopeless. You either develop the tools to survive in the dead, one-sided relationship, or you leave. Narcissism is a personality disease with basically zero treatment options. Therapy MIGHT temporarily help w/ a symptom or two, but that is a long shot AT BEST.

[kathydetrie]

My husband is a social worker and he initiated the couples therapy. He had been to the counselor several times before he brought me in. He sat with a pad of paper and pencil taking notes while conversing with the counselor in professional jargon as if they were discussing a case study. He looked and sounded so reasonable. It seemed like he wanted the counselor to validate all his concerns about me but made no indication of what he could do to improve things. I was so worn out by his constant complaints and bullying and the therapy sessions were just an extension of that. I felt lost and unseen by both he and the counselor.

[denisedevoto]

My narcissist lied in front of me to our marriage counselor. I knew then that therapy was a waste of time, especially since the counselor was clueless. I asked for a divorce 3 months later.

[dolores]

And here I thought I was alone. During a few couples sessions with my ex, I really wanted a witness to the things he would say, but I just sat there stunned while he talked like a perfectly well-adjusted, mature, reasonable person. Over 30 years later I'm sitting here shaking my head because he clearly knew better.

[elisadayyyy]

My narcissist went to therapy and started dissing the therapist, saying he could totally do the same job without even studying. According to him, the therapist was "just sitting there and talking", and it seemed like a piece of cake to him.

[lynnecryer]

We went to so many counsellors, but the ex was so good at gaslighting that the bottom line was that it was ALWAYS me. I was so defeated and hopeless, it took 38 years to realize I need to get out!

[lolalalia]

I am always shocked by how accurately Dr Ramani is able to describe my mother.... flashback to 20 yrs ago: a teenage me is telling yet another therapist about my mother's behavior, and just like all the others, this therapist also accused me of exaggerating my mom's actions and demanded we have a family session. My mom of course refuses but the therapist talks her into it. Right off the bat, my mother is asked about her childhood. Her response? "No! We aren't here to talk about me, we're here to talk about Lola." *silence* so the therapist redirects to ask me questions and then asked my mother how she felt about what I said and again: "NO! We are only here to talk about Lola's issues. I'm not going to talk about why I am who I am! Stop asking." The therapist looked at me for the first time with sympathy in her eyes. I don't think she had ever met a true NPD parent before. That was only my third session with this therapist and turned out to be my last. My mother promptly found a new therapist after that and we never had a family session again....

[iluvknitting]

Years ago, my covert narcissistic ex-husband told me that our therapist had told him privately that she suspected I had bipolar disorder. When I confronted the therapist about it, she said that she had never seen any signs of bipolar in me. My ex was constantly gaslighting me and lying, especially if I did something that made him angry, which wasn't hard to do. I'm so happy to be divorced.

[Thom]

My ex (the narcissist) brought me into her therapist to berate me for being a bad father twisting words so he was basically her enabler. Years after our divorce, I found out about her physically abusing the children. Thank you Dr. Ramani, great segment!!

[NolanZ]

*I would have never gone to therapy with my covert narcissistic mother even as a teenager because she is a pathological liar. I intuitively knew she would have manipulated and twisted the situation plus I knew she would never go into therapy. She is pretentious and ONLY stated publicly a few times “I offered to go therapy with him” for SHOW for her flying monkeys or clueless family friends. It was all a façade or performative. She once s*apped me when I told her that she needed therapy. The only time she ever hit me. I remember her screaming she didn’t need therapy*

*I smile thinking I am grateful I had enough discernment as a teen to know if she were to enter a therapist office with me, she would have used it to become a ”better” narcissist. No contact ages ago. Thriving and living my best life.* 😂💞

[costelloandlizzievolk]

💯 This happened with an ex narc friend who wasn’t respecting my boundaries about the trauma therapy I was doing for being assaulted. She would pry and be condescending, know it all, rude, inappropriate and weird about it all, almost like she was trying to sabotage me, wanting to talk too much about my private therapy. I kept trying to disengage and end the conversation, but she kept asking inappropriate prying questions. When I said ‘I have to go focus on therapy, hope you have a good day’ she replied with ‘nice shut down’ and then went on to say I wasn’t respecting her boundaries, which made no sense at all. I was so done with her I called her out on it, but she never replied and I haven’t heard from her since, and that’s ok with me. It was a very tumultuous ‘friendship’ that caused me a lot of stress. I choose to prioritize my well being now and if others don’t respect that, it’s sad but not my problem. Thank you Dt Ramani ❤

[jarenkoelzer]

Oh boy, is this a hot button topic. My mother is dark triad, my stepfather covert narc. I remember sitting in the waiting room each week as a child as my mother would attend therapy. The fights at home that would ensue between my mother and stepfather after her sessions were terrifying. Her therapist, I believe, had figured out my stepfather, but not my mother. My mother would scream and say it was him causing all of the issues. He's horrible, and is hindsight, not knowing he was a narc until a year ago, I can see how the therapist saw him for what he is, but I couldn't until a year ago. He was MUCH better at gaslighting than she was. It was SO unbelievably toxic it makes me physically ill to think back on. As a child, I blamed her and thought she was the only issue, because her behavior was SO overt. He was so sneaky with his. Fast forward to my adulthood, of course I found 2 unbelievably toxic relationships with 2 different narcissists. I did couples therapy with both as I saw the relationships were failing miserably. In my experience, there is NO way to ever have healthy couples therapy with a narcissist. They gaslight, blame shift, withhold vital information, get angry when too many truths begin to surface, and flat out lie and manipulate in therapy. Such a mess. I watched as my stepfather lied and manipulated his current girlfriend when I began to tell truths about my childhood a year ago. She is in therapy. She was supportive of me at first, but then my stepfather began the gaslighting, and now I am being accused of lying about my childhood, which is INFURIATING. I am no contact with all of them now. I am writing my memoirs, and am on book 3 of 4, with the guidance of my trauma therapist. The BEST thing I have ever done is cut them out of my life completely. Many truths are still being unveiled, but my recovery is going unbelievably well. My healing is not linear, I still have MANY difficult times, but I am healing and working so hard on all of it. Thank you SO much for covering this topic. I am wondering if you could cover when flying monkeys go to therapy. Thus far, I am seeing the narcissist still able to control the narrative. It's all so maddening. Thank you again for this. So much to think about, so much to go write about now.

[antoniovpi]

I used to have a sociopathic narcissistic friend who claimed to have done a lot of work just to justify and rationalize his entitlement further.
P.S. Not friends anymore. 😪