I had another realization about the social hierarchy thing, it's kinda blowing my mind 🤯

These realizations keep coming and more and more I am understanding why life has been hard, especially since I haven't known any of this until now. At 52. 🤦‍♀️ Anyway, let me know what you think. If you like my videos, please like and subscribe, I really appreciate it! And share with anyone you believe would resonate.

#autism #autistic #neurospicy #neurodiversity #neurodivergent #audhd #adhd #socialanxiety #socialcues

[sharoncowart]

I think neurodiverse people don't care about trends, we kind of march to the beat of a differant drummer. And we like it.

[LisaReynolds-zd]

All the times my coworkers have said “we all need to know our place and stay there.” I’m sorry, what? No! I don’t have to stay in any place. I never try to be disrespectful, I try to treat others fairly but now it’s all starting to make sense why they thought I was disrespectful.

[EamonWill]

Agreed. Money is not the end goal. Money is a means of acquiring power. Power is the end goal.

[user]

Yeah, that's why people want money, because to them that's literally what allows you to be yourself. you're not "allowed to" unless you are rich.

[jorieshouse]

This realization is the only thing that made "understanding" racism (and other isms) possible for me. So often through history ppl have chosen to do worse in life for themselves and their communities all in pursuit of maintaining a hierarchy. From a purely self- interested point of view it didn't even make sense. Unless, hierarchy is the point. This understanding / theory has also helped me understand why people continue to choose the preservation of institutions, over the well-being of the people who operate in or are served by these institutions. The institutions themselves helped create the hierarchy, and so, are more important than the people who are a part of them.

[nicolewood]

I don’t think we miss social cues as much as we are indifferent to social pressure.

[sorelyanlie]

As far as I know, I’m not autistic (just adhd in the extreme), but I do resonate with this. In fact, I was just talking about it with regards to clothing with my husband last night. I’m so done with trying to blend in. People figure out I’m weird one way or another and modern clothing is just plain uncomfortable and impractical for me. I can’t stand synthetic fibers, I can’t stand things not fitting properly, and I have very extreme proportions which mean that anything I buy off the rack is so badly fitting as to be distracting and irritating to me all day and then I can’t do anything at all because the sensory issues from that keep me from being able to use what little powers of focus I might have.
So I have determined that I WILL be making myself nicely fitting medieval (ish) dresses and wearing them without shame everywhere I go, cause that’s what I have always found comfortable to wear. The long free skirts provide just the amount of sensory stimulation on my legs to be comforting and not overwhelming, and the gently fitted torso keeps my movements uninhibited and it feels protective and the same time somehow.
Is it going annoy other people? Probably, but their clothes annoy me too to, and I have finally ceased to care what they think

[jamesstonehouse]

Your explanation even fits the way 'old money' despises 'new money'. Everyone has a place in the social order and is desperately trying to find who to look down on. It's why populist politicians can be so divisive. They're motivating people hate on some supposed outgroup to feel important themselves.

[lepolhart]

I seen a video recently of a American man said he wished he had not sent his children to school because the education system is set up to train children for the workplace so they will follow orders and not question anything as society does not like people who can think for themselves. Having a strict timetable and bells to tell children when to go for lessons and for breaks is the same as a factory, workplace etc. The most important thing a person can possess is critical thinking skills because if they don`t have these, they don`t have anything.

[Hermitthecog]

While I understand the concept you're describing I think we're way beyond any sort of functional hierarchy - what's been happening under capitalism for the past 50 years isn't social but rather sociopathic. All of us late-diagnosed autistics have been trying to mask according to established/"normal" social models and failing miserably because the prevailing culture has been continuously warping itself into deeper wells of dysfunction all the while. That has a hierarchy of its own but it's not predicated on anything genuinely social; as we're seeing now with the increasing lunacy of the GOP, the dynamics are verging on psychopathy - and we're just too sane for that sh*t.

[user]

authority is merely who is allowed to do things without repercussions.

[efhusoe]

I am 60 and was severely bullied growing up. Actually, it never really ended, as you probably know. So, I just ended up not caring about what others thought of me. It must be a common experience among us.

[basicbiscuit]

When I became the president of my club in college, I realized how much influence I had over others and had a mental breakdown about it. It felt like I was surrounded by “yes men” and I couldn’t tell if my ideas were actually good because I wasn’t getting the pushback I was used to. I greatly dislike incompetent authority and was afraid I would become just that. I’ve learned to trust my internal logic system and accepted any mistakes were due to a lack of information that was ultimately out of my control. I got the hang of it and felt fulfillment for the first time. It does feel really good when social hierarchy is in your favor because it makes it easier to use your ideas to help others

[NeuroSpicySheri]

Now that you’re aware, you’re perceptions will be changed forever.

[overcomingjeff]

I got my Autism diagnosis at age 55. Before then, I only knew I was “different” not that I am Autistic.

For the past couple of decades, I have intentionally asked supervisors in job interviews to “tell me about your relationship to your subordinates.” It’s a trick question. The goal is to see whether they will correct me, by informing me that they don’t HAVE any subordinates, they have team members. If they don’t, it’s a good indication that I don’t want to work with them because they’re not capable of working WITH me.

Anyone who identifies as a “superior” or to others as “subordinates, ” is almost certainly very insecure and probably not even capable of true servant leadership. They should NEVER be given ANY position of authority. True leaders should be overly sensitive to the use of those kinds of words and strive to eliminate them from the work vocabulary whenever they appear.

[ThatWeirdLady]

I agree with you. I also think this is one of the biggest problems in the world. Human beings find all kinds of reasons to think they are better than the next person and so many of us seek power over others. To a certain extent, we have to play the game to get by, but I think autistic people see through the smoke and mirrors. I wish all the neurodivergent people could get together and change things. I don't believe this is how the world is supposed to be.

[jessicaburrows]

I'm really, really, really hoping that the world can start to see the downsides to social hierarchy and how the obsession w being more successful, better looking, more wealthy is a recipe for disaster for our species and all the other species we affect. I'm with you. As an AuDHDer, the current paradigm makes zero sense to me. 1, 000, 000, 000% I would rather live in a world where humans recognize the value and interconnectedness of everyone and everything and learn to live in collaboration and connection. This world would be such a different place if we focused on that instead of fighting over resources while also polluting and destroying them. Scarcity mindset is short-sighted and destructive and ignores the potential for abundance in those collaborative relationships. Not saying the world would be perfect, but I'd sure like to give it a whirl.

[seekerwisdom]

I think you have a valid point regarding upholding the hierarchies. I don't have the energy, so I appear to go along, to a point, then will fight back if someone is doing something that could harm other people. Most of the time, I see them, and they don't know I see them.

[emersonmeyer]

I’ve internally fought with this all of my life. I internalized all the “rules of society” as a kid, and basically became my own bully because I saw that I was different/weird from the rest of society. A couple years ago I realized I’m autistic, which has thankfully helped me learn to be compassionate toward myself. But living in this society feels like it’s eating me alive. It really makes no sense that we don’t live in unity, that we purposefully hurt others to climb the ladder of social hierarchy, and seeing it everyday is soul crushing. I spend so much energy being mad at the injustice/inequality. I just want to focus on my own life but it feels impossible when the way society runs is the opposite of how I think.
Does anyone have any tips on how to exist in this society and actually be happy and be able to ignore the bullshit?
Thanks in advanced, and thank you for this video! It brings me hope knowing others have this mindset.😊

[ZhovtoBlakytniy]

This is how I've felt since I was a young child. The rules make no sense. To be fair to my child self, even as a child I didn't like unhinged wild fun. I was a lot like an old lady trapped in a child body 😅
I like rules, but only if they make sense.
I could pass the tests, but rebelled against the school system. I didn't honor my elders in my family, because hierarchy didn't make sense and those people were not honorable. I respect the respectable.
The corporate world looks like a bunch of BS to me. I just can't get on board.
I'll never be rich, but I don't care.
I'm not bribable.