I'm a fraud.

Imposter Syndrome - a psychological occurrence in which an individual doubts their skills, talents, or accomplishments and has a persistent internalized fear of being exposed as a fraud.

Filmed with a Kowa 16H 2x Anamorphic Projector Lens paired with a Helios 44-2 and Canon FD 85mm f1.8 on the Sony FX3

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[EiseienBonsai]

Thank you all for the great feedback and comments of solidarity! You are the reason we are able to do what we do at Eisei-en.

[BlueSkyBonsai]

Self doubt is natural. Publishing a video to confess it - especially when you're one of the leading figures in this art - now that's brave. Keep your aims high and ... enjoy parenthood, it goes by quicker you can imagine!!!!

[jeffcharnstrom]

Luck is when preparation meets opportunity.

[samuelgregson]

I'm a neuroradiologist and have felt like this my entire life... The very best doctors / surgeons I surround myself with have this exact same mindset. You are obviously extremely adept in your skills with bonsai; while maintaining your humble approach and thirst for improvement which is essential for continual growth, too much self doubt can negatively effect your mindset in certain circumstance long term! I've been through the 'self depreciating' phase myself, but now feel super content acknowledging that I have a super niche level of competence in my field, yet am able to seek advice and learn from those around me no matter what stage of the journey they are on. Be proud of yourself and your level of knowledge!! Be grateful of the luck you have had along the way, but also remind yourself of the sacrifice, hard work and endless hours you have put in to your craft!

[peterkeane]

Thank you for your honesty. My former teacher put it to me this way..."how did I know when I was ready to teach? When people asked me"...

[dsicloltotn]

This happens to everyone on the way up and who holds morals. Keep climbing and remember those that do “know it all” just realized everyone else felt the way you do now and took advantage of that fact.

[derekm]

I've known you for several years now. Good things happen to good people Bjorn. You're the farthest thing from an imposter. You work hard and are kind and patient with people. Your skill set is world class and yet your humble. You are a professional in everyway. Best always.

[guyvitale]

It's that constant self doubt that drives some of us to a higher level of chasing perfection.

[ablum]

Hi Bjorn,
I have followed a very similar path as you in a different art form and have become a professor. I dont usually make any comments on YouTube, in fact this is my first, but I felt compelled. As a teacher when I first started I had this exact fear constantly and would try and think of the best answer even if I knew there were some aspects that weren’t perfect. I had lots of anxiety about not knowing everything. I learned to say “I don’t know let’s learn together”to a student. Helping a student learn how to learn maybe more important than the knowledge alone. Learning together and helping them understand the process of figuring things out is vital. No one knows everything, and we can learn something from anyone. You are a great influence on my bonsai practice and I enjoy your content, mostly because of you. Your style and delivery and personality is the type of conduit I enjoy to learn my bonsai information. Thanks. Keep it up.

[pgp]

Watching this tells me 2 things about you. You are humble and you have integrity

[john]

What you describe is exactly why I practice gratitude. It is the healthy alternative to pride.

[joelbellJB]

I’ve always been interested in human behavior and psychology, and one thing I’ve learned is that people, even those in positions of leadership have no idea what we’re doing.
We’re all just living day by day, one foot in front of the other trying to do our best, and learning everything we can along the way.

And it makes sense when you sit down and think about, there is no rule book with laid out plans for life, we don’t know what the future holds.
We have an idea of our goals we want to accomplish and 80% of the time we just wing-it hoping for the best.

[raymondplodzien]

I have been working at the same job for 28 years and people look up to me like I am the best but I have the same feelings you do. I learn new things from the newcomers. Never stop learning, stay humble and do what you do best which is bonsai. You are amazing Bjorn!

[erichraudebaugh]

Success= skill (acquired through hard work) + luck + timing. You have all three, plus the advantage of knowing what you want in life from an early age. Kudos!

[zamorakxe]

Bjorn, your insights into the amazing art are invaluable! I think we all feel like a fraud no matter our profession, imposter syndrome affects us all, especially the ones who feel like we don't belong. Maybe you feel this way not being traditionally Japanese, but that shouldn't matter when it comes to art. Your videos are splendid, and your information is a gem. Thanks!

[abrahamwilson]

Absolutely can relate to this. Both professionally as an eye doctor, as a parent, and as a person trying to learn the deep craft of bonsai. I had a professor tell me something I think about a lot that helps: As long as you know even a little more than the person you are trying to help you can be useful. Trust your knowledge and share it.

AND YOU’RE FUCKING AWESOME AND MAKE RAD TREES!!!

[GraeMatterz]

Impostor syndrome shows up quite frequently in people who are breaking into a socioeconomic class above their own, such as those who are the first in their family to attend college or marry into the socioeconomic class above the one they were born and raised. I've experienced it as has my best friend. We were both born into blue-collar, working class families and leveled up (myself into high-tech and my friend into medicine). It's a form of low self-esteem and fear of being judged as 'not enough' by peers and superiors of the new environment we find ourselves in. You've put in the hard work and the mileage to get to where you are now. Be proud of your accomplishments! You are amazing!

[bodhran]

Thoroughly inspired by your art, and content Bjorn. Grateful for your generosity in sharing it all with us.

[BillyBobJoeSnr]

I felt like this just this morning, it's partly having expectations that you don't believe you're meeting. Have some sleep and tomorrow is a new day.

[TheBonsaiGarden]

Anyone with professional pride in what they do, who are bright and conscientious have doubts and feel imposter syndrome. And in many cases those we look up to and admire are putting on a front and feel the same doubts. Being good at what you do isn’t about being able to talk illegible word salad. It is to your credit that your delivery is clear, concise, understandable and often profoundly beautiful.

Thank you for sharing your journey, your bonsai knowledge, your ethos. Keep growing as a person and keep doing what you are doing. 🙏