What Programming Languages Say About You

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Programming language stereotypes:
00:00 - Intro
00:05 - Java
00:19 - Python
00:39 - Javascript
00:57 - C
01:16 - C++
01:32 - C#
01:50 - Swift
02:06 - Assembly
02:25 - Matlab
02:40 - SQL
02:57 - Kotlin
03:25 - Outro

*These are all just jokes (I may or may not be funny). Enjoy the ~somewhat~ programmer humor!

Here are some programming language stereotypes; or to hop on the trend; here are what programming languages say about you.

As a java developer you just took ap computer science, you use blue jay as a coding IDE. You like to look up Oracle headquarters images in your free time and you constantly talk about object oriented programming with your friends (even though they didn't ask).

As a python software engineer, you either work in data science or finance. You randomly try to automate manual tasks (even though it takes you 3 hours for a 10 minute task). You have a bunch of fun programming side projects, but its not your main priority.

If you use Javascript you first started coding because you wanted to make websites. You keep up to date on front-end developer news and you're 1 fiver web dev freelance fiverr request away from quitting.

As a C software engineer you own an extremely loud mechanical keyboard. You compete in competitive programming (and you're not bad at it). You believe vim is the only acceptable text editor.

If you are a C++ software engineer you have been working as a backend developer for a large corporation. You usually wear a baseball hat and hoodie while coding. You have a solid TC, but you regularly think about quitting and opening up a bookshop in Spain.

If you use C#, you either work at Microsoft or you couldn't bring yourself to use C++. You really like multithreading and asynchronous programming (even though you don't really understand it). You subscribe to .NET newsletters and you are starting to worry about your coffee habit.

As a Swift software engineer you recently bought the newest mac and iPhone. Your friends constantly bring you app ideas, even though you know most of them are terrible. You wear turtlenecks and sweaters regularly, and you recently discovered minimalism.

If you code in Assembly then you are very good at math and do logic puzzles for fun. Though when you actually have to work on a project, you get stuck in a stack overflow thread from 2009 for 4 hours.

College students use matlab and absolutely despise it. You procrastinate on your math homework until the night before, and you often question whether college is really worth it. You want to work in a computer science lab but you are too busy reading matlab documentation to apply.

If you use SQL regularly, you are likely a database engineer at a non-tech company. You hate when junior software developers try to touch the database. You wear collard shirts but never button-downs. You have tried to migrate to other technologies, but your non-technical manager has constantly denied it.

If you program in Kotlin, you likely didn't want to buy a macbook. You regularly talk about how android phones are objectively better than iPhones. You have the best phone camera, even though you don't like photography. You are part of the PCMR subreddit and all your group messages are on Facebook (because all your friends have iPhones).

#programming
#programmerhumor
#computerscience

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I do not claim to own any or all of the pictures/footage that may be shown in this video.
All of my opinions are entirely my own and do not represent any company I work for or am affiliated with.
Any financial topics discussed are not financial advice.

[michka]

FORTRAN: you're old and you teach physics in college

[a_smile]

As a Computer science student who just finished their first year that one about Java felt like a personal attack lol 😂

[Vim_Tim]

Most of these are pretty good! I’d say that the C++ programmer is far more likely to be into competitive programming. The Python programmer is guilty of trying to mash the language into anything it’s unsuitable for (e.g. game programming). The C# dev is either working on a 10-year-old monolithic app or a game dev. The Swift developer has an irrational hatred for web development and will claim that they avoid Objective-C because of the syntax when the real answer is they never understood pointers.

[vincentxtran]

the assembly slander 😆, also, i see that new mic, very nice!

[mohamedalhamad]

"All of your group messages are on Facebook, because all your friends have iPhones", that felt like a personal attack.

[lordender_kitty_official]

As a home schooled, self taught Java programmer, that description does not apply to me in even the slightest way possible.

[summerwertz]

Gets to C

Loud keyboard... *looks at bookmarked IBM Model M for sale*

VIM is the best text editor IDE.... *does all programming from terminal in VIM*

I feel attacked

[tmahad]

How he just forgot about most loved programming language for 6 years (Rust).

[cyancaelus]

I Mean. There's Approximately EVEN A LOT MORE Than 5000 Different Types of Programming Languages on Planet Earth

[Aidan_Au]

Wow Mikie uses a blue yeti mic.
Haha the one for Matlab, Python and SQL are pretty on point.
Next video: What Watching These Tech YouTubers Say About You

[jeffreyugochukwu]

I'm basically the Python one accept I have a Windows laptop 😂😂😂

[adrianb]

damn MIQL, your jokes are chad material if u have any spare time you should catch out senza channel it will give u a chuckle or 2.

[tseby]

I am Java developer and before watching this video I never looked up Orcale headquarters. Now I do it in my free time

[sayori]

I am really hurt by these hurts i wanna make my python program download more ram 😥

[Aidan_Au]

All jokes aside, how did you find the room that you currently live in?
Through Facebook groups/Craigslist?
It may be worth making a video on how to find roommates/sublease when getting your first job after college

[BeanFeed]

To add to c#, or you are a teenager thats an intermediate program that swapped from a high level language bc you think compiling to machine code is cooler than your .js or .py files that you need node or python installed to run

[cyancaelus]

Every Year. New Programming Languages are Made. My Favorite Programming Language is Cython. Cython is a Python Programming Language Family. That is Compiled in C Programming Language. I Want to Learn Cython. And I Want to Make a 3D Game Engine in There. And I Also Want to Learn About Computer Binary Code too. It's About Quintillions Amount of Tiny 0's and 1's. So I Can Make a Programming Language. I Want to Make My Own Programming Language too You Know

[animeforever]

I mean learning JavaScript as my first Programming language, Do you think it is good as your first language.