The invisibility of LOSS: what Harry Potter has to teach us

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Once someone passes through tragedy, they are no longer the same person, and their perception of reality has fundamentally changed. There is no going back. And this means that there are generally two classes of people: those who have passed through tragedy, and those who haven't passed through tragedy yet. These two groups basically live in two different worlds, in which many features of reality are invisible to those in the second category. I illustrate the psychological truth of this statement with an example from "Harry Potter."

Orion is a licensed psychologist in the state of California.
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#harrypotter #loss #grief

[psychacks]

Once someone passes through tragedy, they are no longer the same person, and their perception of reality has fundamentally changed. There is no going back. And this means that there are generally two classes of people: those who have passed through tragedy, and those who haven't passed through tragedy yet. These two groups basically live in two different worlds, in which many features of reality are invisible to those in the second category. I illustrate the psychological truth of this statement with an example from "Harry Potter."

Orion is a licensed psychologist in the state of California.
Podcast available of Spotify, Instagram, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts and others.
See the "About" tab for more information on donations and consultations.

[DanielClementYoga]

I like the "loss of one's former self" idea a lot, thanks.

[auntiebarnes]

Well stated. I wish this had been up a few years ago, grief is poorly understood in most modern cultures; there's very little support available.

[zensvlognotapro]

When I was on my middle 20' my mother died at the age of 53 . I feel so bad up to the extent I question God why so early that my mother died. She's my inspiration she's the reason why I dream big. When she died I lost myself, I suddenly stop my dreams. But later on when I got my own family another darkness of the soul happened when my children were still young.When I got operated my ectopic pregnancy during my early 30's . I experienced a near death experience however that's the reason I Iove life. I become enthusiastic, Inspired because I told to myself I hav only one life I make sure I wanna spend it joyfully. I decided to think that life has a purpose and we need to use it to inspire people . I use social media esp FB to post something that people can smile, can think and learn . Some ppl don't understand my energy . One person I need to take medicine she feels I'm insane. They never knew or they have no idea how to be me my pains, my frustrations or disappointments in life, my mistakes and failures my insecurities. But that's long time ago I'm ok now we're good life is good now . God gave what I need and what I want that's bonus 🙂.

[cathyosullivan]

I am sorry you have been through much loss in your early life. I would like to thank you for deciding to help others instead of becoming bitter.

[Blckzero]

This guy says no one was there for him when during tragedy, and then follows up by saying that could be good because then he can really help others that go through the same thing later. What a guy

[lolly_golightly]

It’s a difficult truth, but I’ve also discovered that trauma changes a person and it’s unkind to expose those who are happily unaware as yet of such matters to my thoughts/feelings/needs in their fullness. It’s inappropriate, to my way of thinking. That’s not to say that friends have been unable to “be there” for me after a loss, but I was realistic in what I could and should expect from those who were still innocents. I have enjoyed times out or visiting with friends where I knew I needed the interaction to give me a reason to leave my house of late after my husband died last year, but I don’t say that to most people. I make plans, enjoy the interaction, and keep much of what’s happening with me to myself. It’s lonely, but it’s honest and fair. The alternative is to alienate everyone I know or judge them and embrace the bitter wish for others to be as hurt as I am. I’m happy for their run unscathed. The line feels as clear as the one keeping adults from being sexual with children, honestly. No one has the right to steal another’s innocence prematurely.

[builderofcastles]

So much in the realm of the spiritual is this way.

And yes, people laugh at people who talk about angels, ghosts, spirits, ufo's, astrology, OBE...
It is almost impossible to discuss these things with anyone who hasn't experienced them.
Further, it is folly to try convince someone who has experienced these things that it was just an illusion, a dream. Yes, we destroy such people, calling them crazy, for experiencing something out of the "norm"

[jesusalconero]

Estimado señor Taraban; he empezado a ver sus videos por mejorar mi inglés, por lo bien que estructura usted las frases, le he escuchado mucho y me quedó maravillado de su extraordinaria formación académica, su conocimiento de la condición humana y su sabiduría que claramente es innata, lo cual es llamativo en una persona tan joven. Le deseo toda la felicidad que pueda permitirse una persona tan inteligente como usted.

[nilighosh]

Thank you. Grief can encompass invisible losses beyond the death of a loved one. Articulating the forms of invisible grief helps us understand the contours of our emotional experience and learn to be with grief in all of its forms. We can place the feelings in the grief framework, allowing ourselves the space to move through with empathy and understanding.

[GoldenAce]

This makes total sense. I keep trying to explain heartbreak to people who have never been in real relationships and all I get are half hearted "sorry's, " and "there's plenty of fish in the sea" talks.

Also, Sirius died in year 5, not year 3.
Sorry, had to be that guy 😅

[dahliafiend]

I lost my parents, fought cancer, twice, 2 separate bouts, found the “love of my life was having a relationship with another guy while with me in another city, went through a financial crisis that’s left me poor. This all happened in the space of eight years. Now I’m alone, broke and afraid of being homeless. I just turned 47 this week. There are two types of people. One type gets it almost without explanation the other look baffled and weirded out. Chemo is hard but your parents and the woman you love not being there it’s not the cancer that’s hurt. When I got to the finish line all I’ve heard is my landlord asking about rent. I pictured life being less bleak.

[alanahelapitage]

I really felt your tenderness here. It really does take one to know one, and guide one, when it comes to loss. I can imagine your clients who are going through grief would get tremendous value from working with you. I truly appreciate the quality, nuance, and relevance of your content. Much love to you.

[stevesetzer]

Thank you so much for your content.... it has helped me so profoundly. Im going through a difficult time, being illegal in spain with my Colombian wife taking my daughter on vacation and getting pregnant there to a rich man in Marbella. I had to choose to continue my business in SOuth America or move to spain and be illegal for years to just see my daughter grow up. I feel stuck and hopeless. I cant even leave to see my dying father or I wont be able to enter spain again to see my daughter. Thank you!

[tamasgyorffy]

As a twin survivor, I lost the "innocence" of not seing Death somewhat before Day 1 on Earth. As all my bros ans sis in destiny, that is a lot of people. However, experiencing it after birth, loosing beloved ones who were partners along the way, still broke my heart initially. You are never the same following such an experience. But you can never get used to it, either.

[davidosalsero]

Blimey - so fundamental. Indeed I have myself noticed that when the loss by DEATH occurs it seems to affect the OLDER people the less.

[kris_badass]

Actually very well articulated! I was trying to describe this to a friend as; if you haven't gone through some very traumatic experience or had a life crisis you live life in a kinda protected bubble, like a fantasy world. I used the scene from matrix where people are unaware of being in these womb-like bags. Like reality is around you but you don't see it for what it is. I couldn't really explain it so he understood it and for good reasons, as you say. It was a delight hearing your description of it and made me feel like I was correct in my evaluation of how I percieve things.... For now...


Thank you!

[Angell_Lee]

Wow, I am so grateful to you and your teaching as always. Thank you so much xo

[LightLanguageReikiAndAngels]

Luna Lovegood, yes. I loved her.
A new death tonight. Heartbroken.

[EdEmJuPe]

I think this might be what I've been missing in my understanding of other people, and how infantile their thinking seems to me.
It may very well be that they're a bit too innocent, and I've been "graced" with enough suffering to notice things which are invisible to them.