Small Business Mentoring: Why it Doesn't Work (and what to do instead)

Here are some breakdowns in the typical mentoring experience.

Breakdown #1: No Formal Mentoring Process

The first, is that the person you reach out to doesn't have a formal mentoring process. There are paid mentoring relationships and there are free mentoring relationships. Neither one is better than the other. What is important is that you're clear that this process you're about to go through, this experience you're about to have, takes you to a place that's beneficial for you. You should be able to see that benefit at the end. Both of you are busy. You're busy as leader of your company. They're busy as a leader of their company. Just hanging around them isn't what you want. You want an experience that takes you somewhere. You got to be clear about that.

Breakdown #2: Experience Isn't the Same as Wisdom

The second thing you got to look out for is experience over wisdom. This is especially true if you are in a relationship that isn't a formal one. If it's an informal mentorship relationship, sometimes the person who you're interacting with is more than happy to tell you their story. More than happy to lay out their experience. That doesn't mean that their experience is going to port over well for you. You can't do it exactly like they did it. You have a different business environment, a different set of skills, a different support team. Things aren't the same. Though they told you their story, and it sounds so inspirational. That doesn't mean that you can just take it and use it. What you're after is wisdom.

How do you improve upon that? What can you do to create a better mentor/mentee relationship?

Create a Better Relationship: Offer an Exchange of Value

Here's a major thing that you probably haven't been told. Lets say this right now and say it out loud. The quality of your mentor/mentee relationship is directly defined by your outreach. It's defined by what you ask for. It's actually your job to set the scope of the mentor/mentee relationship. Here are a couple of idea to help you do that. Help you do it better. The first is about relevance. You're reaching out to this person because you want some information. You want to do how to do something. You want level up your experience. What do they get in return? Some of the poorer assumptions is that they'll want to give to you. They'll want to just give back. That's an unfair expectation. That's an unfair assumption. You need to provide some level of exchange. Here's what I'm asking for from you. Here's what I'd like to give to you in return, that I think is useful to you. Provide, or offer, some sort of exchange. They may not accept it. It's the offer that shows that you are a different kind of professional.

Create a Better Relationship: Be Specific With Your Ask

Thing number two is about specificity. If you want to ruin a prospective mentorship relationship, if you want to irritate you`r prospective mentor, ask to pick their brain. Ask their thoughts on this broad reaching topic. Those broad requests are so intimidating. They are so overwhelming. I run a very small company. People reach out to me and ask to pick my brain. They ask for my thoughts on these broad ranging topics. It's frustrating to me. I can only imagine what it's frustrating like for those larger companies and those people that we all look up to. Your job is to be specific about what you want. Your job is to be specific about what you respect about them.

Create a Better Relationship: Be Patient and Respect Timing

Number three is that you got to respect timing. It's very possible, not even possible it's exactly true, that you're prospective mentor is a busy person. Sometimes, it's purely a matter of timing. It's not a matter of what you asked for. It's not a matter of what you offered in exchange. Sometimes, it's just purely a matter of it's just not the right time. It may take six months for the right timing to come around. It may take a year for the right timing to come around. You're job is to stay relevant and stay specific while you are patient with the timing.

What do you do now? What's your next step? If you're brave enough, go ahead and put your prospective mentor in the comments below. Who would you like to reach out to? What would you like to learn form them? If you're already on the blog, you can scroll down a bit. I've already created a resource for you that will give you a couple of templates to help you get your language right when you reach out to a prospective mentor. Let's do that now.

[IntentionalityMentor]

The Quality of your mentor-mentee relationship is directly defined by your outreach. It's defined by what I ask for. Its the Mentee's job to set the scoop of the mentee-mentor relationship. #MindBlown

[onuwabuchi]

This video was one of the ONLY videos to verbalize the respectable dialog need to establish each step in the business mentor relationship! I need to watch this twice!

[josepena]

Hi, I appreciate your video, especially your approach to key questions to the prospective mentor. I own a small trucking company, but in reality I love real estate and business acquisitions area. I am looking for a mentor to help me raise capital to help me fund my next business. Do you have any suggestions. I thank you in advance.

[godson]

I really don't have a prospected mentor. I don't know anyone in this realm other than Cenk Uygar, and Mark Cuban, who even have my degree. I gained my acumen if leadership, operational management thru military schools. I am utterly confused as to how I can couple my experience with what I learn in school.

[darkscorpionomega]

I know how to find Mentors in my area. The problem is whether they're a good or bad mentor they're not consistent

[michaelhollon]

enjoyed hearing this wisdom lots. It's ironic that that such great mentoring advice comes from somebody who says mentoring doesn't work.

[gnahthe]

Score.org (Senior Core of Retired Executives) - free mentoring from those that have done it and want to give back.

[dwaynecarter]

The first person to do it didnt need a mentor.