What Are Some Funny Things You’ve Heard Kids Say?

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[BlackIce]

Damnit, the post about the little girl standing on the nurse’s foot genuinely made me laugh.

[BananamelonX]

Years ago, I was helping my dad weed the garden at our previous house when the neighbour's 3 kids decided it would be more interesting to watch us garden and ask us as many questions as possible. The oldest one (I think he was 6 years old then) out of nowhere asked me "Do you have any kids of your own?". Me and my dad could not stop laughing at this question as back then, I didn't even have a gf/partner let alone a wife.

[its.kitty]

When i was a little kid, like 8, i was fishing with my dad. And some fish moved while my dad was taking the hook out and he goes “Ow! You bastard!” And i go “yea! You bastard!” And he cracked up laughing, and i cried cause i was worried id be hit for swearing

[asagothe_fander]

Back when I was younger, I ended up managing to spell my yogurt all over myself, while my babysitter was watching me after leaving the room for like three seconds to do something. She had to put me in the bathtub, and my mom heard me screaming because for some reason, I hated baths as a kid. She ran upstairs, saw my babysitter washing me, and then I just screamed “you’re ruining my mane” at my babysitter.


Neither, then we’re expecting that and just laughed and when I was told this story like two weeks ago, I was also laughing from it

[Jerry_the_Head]

not as funny, but; it was after my uncle had gotten out of jail for drug possession (before he went back in too, he's out again and has been honestly doing great), the first thing my twin bro said to my uncle was "Welcome back from prison" this was back in middle school so y'know the age range. his response wasn't as funny as my mom's initial response to slowly cover her mouth with her hands out of shock, i'm crying thinking back on it now, that was so inappropriate but so fucking funny

[themysteriousgentlemen]

I was a door greeter at Walmart I was mainly janitorial but anywho. I was standing there doing my job and a family walked in and the conversation went like this. Dad. Honey what's wrong do you have to go the bathroom . Daughter silent. Mom honey do you have to go the bathroom ? Daughter .... My butt itches. I had to hold my breath as not to buts out laughing.😂

[sturmovik]

For anyone who has been mortified by what their child said in public... just remember that in ten years you will be able to use the threat of recalling that moment to their friends as blackmail.

[Empyre]

9:35 Ayup, that’s my future son right there.

[sturmovik]

9:40 I remember in early childhood spending Christmas at my grandparents', and at dusk on Christmas Eve we went out and scattered a dozen or so handfuls of grain in their yard for the reindeer.

[gavinlamp]

A mom was buying a souvenir cup and we had some bubble wrap. So i wrapped it up as best I can, put it in a bag, and gave it to her. The mom gives the cup to her daughter and she starts popping the bubble wrap. The mom goes "Don't do that." So I grabbed another bubble wrap sheet and gave it to the kid for her to pop. The mom smiles and says "What do you say to him?" The kid looks up at me and says, "Do you have any more?" The mom goes "No, you say thank you!" But I was too busy laughing

[hugosinclair]

"you hit me in the beanbag!" reminds me of the time when me and my twin sister was 4 and knew nothing about the distance between boys and girl's bodies, i kicked her in her coconut (we used coconut instead of beanbag) and when she didn't cringe and yelp in pain i was confused, that's the day we had, "the talk" by our mom. XD

[heisensaul]

If I was the little girl's dad and she said to me about the obese woman on the bus "We're gonna talk about her later.." I don't think I would be able to stop laughing. I was laughing at the idea of just being in that situation. I would probably be crying trying not to laugh at that lol

[michelleahlstrom]

One time I was out walking and there was a little boy, maybe around 6 or 7, jumping on a trampoline, singing, "Baby can

[nicholasnguyen]

My baby cousin when he has a dirty diaper, he would always say “poo poo”, every single time. So glad he was potty trained soon because wow those diapers were rank!

[BWITHYURI]

Once, when we were at the shops, my two younger sisters yelled out “VAGINA!!!”

[SiegeTF]

In the late 1980's after my dad came home from work as his first day as Airport Security I said: 'Hey Dad, shoot anyone today?!' He stopped and had a dad-not-laugh.

[kendoruslink]

Fuck, these are always fucking hilarious.

[Fast_Eddy_Magic]

I have to go to Miami next week.
Can I go to your Ammy too?

[thunderstorminblack]

When one of my cousins was getting remarried, at her wedding, her daughter and my other cousins son said the funniest shit I've ever heard. The cousin who getting married was down in the reception area looking at how things where going before going to get in her dress, her daughter had to be like 5 maybe, and she ran after her mother, and in a very very very VERY Southern accent goes "wait for me please!" It was the draw of her words in the accent that was so fucking funny. Yes we are from GA so of course she's Southern, but she got so much more southern then anyone I've ever heard in that moment. The kid is like 13 now, and we all still talk about it. At the same wedding, her cousin, my other cousins son, was sitting in a extra pew where the reception was going to be held and he smacked his head, The kid goes, again in an extremely southern accent in a really deep voice for a little kid "I bump my head." Again we all went to pieces. We still joke about that too. It must have been just the funniest shit ever because my grandmother who has Alzheimer's and Dementia and is losing a lot of things, can't remember anything for more than like 5 mins, but she remembers that.

[jessilynallendilla]

as a small child I couldn't pronounce hoarder right and it really confused my family when I said animal hoarder (whore)