How to Build a Community that Supports You

I thought I would record a short video on how to build a community of support around us.

First: We have to join some communities.

This is about finding your fellow travelers. It's less about building something around you and more about joining a movement.

This isn't always easy. So many groups are combative, with everyone trying to be the smartest and most powerful person in the room. Leave these groups immediately. I don't care if it's the "pre-eminent" group of its kind on the web. Don't let them poison you.

This is about finding your tribe – the people who get you and want to support you on your journey. When you find even one of these people, they are worth their weight in gold. And you will find them. As you get better at spotting them, you will start to find small groups of them. It's a wonderful moment – like finding the home you always knew existed but never visited until just then.

Take a class. Join a meetup group. Explore Facebook groups that align with something you care deeply about.

Second: Feed your tribe DAILY.

This is harder than it sounds. But it doesn't mean you have to create an article or video every day. It can as simple as taking the time to check in with them and support them in their efforts. It can be a kind word, promoting their posts or offering an article or video you stumbled on that was helpful for you.

I used to think that trust came from meeting expectations, and it does, but this is just table stakes. Real trust comes from witnessing someone acting in kindness. When a person consistently attempts to act in the best interests of others, we begin to trust this person on a new level.

Kindness is also contagious. It can cause waves of empathy and happiness to spread across a tribe and bring everyone closer.

Third: This takes time. Take a deep breath.

This is an investment in the future. It takes a consistent application of focus and effort. Trying to do it quickly only causes us to surround ourselves with people who may not actually support us. Or to take actions that aren't really in the best interest of others.

Remember that It's not about building the number of followers we have. This is about exploring, finding and supporting the fellow travelers on our shared search for meaning and purpose.

Also, go easy on yourself. We all make mistakes. We all do things that aren't always in the best interest of others. We just need to keep practicing and putting more coins into the kindness jar until it overflows.

---