How to break out of your shell more

When we're around the same environment we've been in for so long, people have preconceived ideas of who we are, so if we try anything new like changing our voice to improve our communication skills, it might not always be met with encouragement.

When you start learning communication skills be sure to do it around "Neutral ears", ie people who have no preconceived idea of who you are. When they respond without judgement, this further embeds your new habits!

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[rickmook]

What really worked for me was to work as waiter in a almost fancy but not actually fancy restaurant.
You can get to practise talking, how to be professional, how to be casual, trying to be funny, how to flirt, how to resolve issues multiple times a shift if you want to. You can use every table as a practise field with a slightly different tone or personallity until you don't feel awkward anymore and can settle with a version that you like.

[stworldrefugee]

This is probably the most genuine advice and analysis I have ever heard and can relate 100%. We think we are what others tell us that we are. And we only gain true understanding of ourselves and the ability to teach our true potential when we realize that only our ideas and perceptions about ourselves are what really counts.

[ashtonphoenyx]

He's right about the new environment thing

Growing up in my hometown, everyone had this preconceived notion of me being a quiet and nerdy guy.

I left home at 21 and moved down south. I was able to come out of my shell and be the more extroverted side of me. I always knew I had a more extroverted side. It's just that when I tried to express it, people would just shut it down.

After I moved, people I met for the first time all had this idea of me being a funny, no filter, fun type of guy. Yeah, I still had my introverted moments, but I could tell people genuinely liked being around me in my new environment.

[jasmineessink]

This is legit. Went to college away and was treated SO different, i never realized just how stuck I was in a nerdy/loser role in school. I always thought I was just a loser but it was just that everybody else wanted be to be and expected me to be that way. Wild man

[Hansprivate]

I just finished my first improv class. I literally cannot recommend it enough.

[MiaLogoes]

This is so damn true... tried and tested. I was an introvert (not shy) in high school but in university I purposely reached out and talked to people instead of just waiting for people to come talk to me. It also helped that I started to use my second name in uni so at first it felt like I'm playing a character until it started to intergrade to my overall persona.

[Ammy-lcnf]

For me, it was the realization, that, not everyone knows everything, they can be wrong so stop taking everyone so literally and just focus on basics(saying thank you, sorry or greetings). And it is ok to fail continuously because there's no winning in life, its just life. 😁
So fail faster and fail harder, earn those experiences.
Two things i would suggest for confidence is - exercise & meditate.

[EST]

Actually this is true; I was in this school for nearly 6 years and was mostly seen as a guy you’d want to avoid and it was depressing but once I reached a new school I felt new and everything changed, I became a funny guy with so many ppl as my friends and the teachers respected me as a student.

[Wineblood]

Improv sounds absolutely terrifying as a very strong introvert.

[holdupsomethingaintright]

Absolutely, I agree, in a school if you stay long enough people will start building preconceived ideas about you and that's the "mold" he's talking about and most of the time you can't really get out of that mold because of the pressure pushing you back inside. I relate to this a whole lot since I was a victim of this also, and his recommendation? I might wanna try it out now lol

[AdvocateWorldwide]

Thank you for honoring your dad in that story. That was powerful.

[alicenyw]

I actually changed countries as an adult. Honestly, it feels amazing knowing you can walk the streets without anyone knowing you.

[RayMak]

This blows my mind Vinh. I mold was the nerd kid in school, thick glasses, high pants, always holding a book, no friends. But when I went to US, I told myself, no one knows me here, I can be someone different. I became one of the most popular kid at school =) Though deep inside, I'm still the introvert, nerdy, geeky kid. I gained lots of new self confidence, and friends!

[ULTIMATES]

I like the fact that you didn't put any bullshit into the advice like "be comfortable in who you are" or "just don't care what other people think" and actually gave some genuine, helpful advice that we needed.

Thank you.

[DannyKSD]

That was a breath of fresh air! We usually just told "Just bee yourself lol" if our social life was marked for doom, but this?

Plain and brutal "Move out and start anew", I've seen this actually works on my highschool friends too, I'd definetly recommend this if the situation arises. ❤

[naimas]

I actually did this. Transferred to 3 different schools in a span of 4 years. I'm now a better human being capable of interacting with others. Before, I always look down and becomes anxious around people.

You make life changing advices. I subscribed! Thank you for making me remember this experience

[NeubauerMM]

I confirm. I had an improv lesson in my early 20s and it was amazing 👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻

[retrovelcro]

Yes, 💯 agree. And traveling. Being able to be your true self in other places you've never been before, even if it's just two towns or cities away from yours, can give you confidence in ways other experiences cannot.

[ovenkloven]

I am 54 now and won every fight against other people who wanted to put me in a mold. Even my parents. I can do and be whatever i wanted to be or do. I am free of that, finally❤

[ananyap]

Totally right about the environment thing. I was in a school where everyone knew me since elementary school and most of them didn't like me, so I only had like 2 friends there. After moving, I had no shell or mold holding me back, and I made so many genuinely good friends in just a year.