Offense is taken, not given: how to reclaim your power

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The idiom "to take offense" reveals a fundamental truth on the matter, namely: offense is taken, not given. Those who have had the misfortune of having an enemy -- someone who is acting deliberately provocative -- know that they can control their reactions, so as not to give the provoker the satisfaction. This indicates that we have agency in the decision to become offended -- and also that we needn't necessarily assume responsibility when someone else has decided to become so.

Orion is a licensed psychologist in the state of California.
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#offended #responsibility #selfcontrol

[heartnsoullife]

Excellent advice. Simple but not easy to implement, however with awareness and practice we can all refuse the offense by not judging the clumsy words chosen by the speaker.

But how does one recover control over its psyche when overwhelmed by emotions and the instant reaction? When the taking offense happens before one can consciously choose not to engage in judgment?
Thank you for this awesome video!!

[sststr]

Now how to deal with people who are actively seeking to be offended? And typically in an knowingly and maliciously dishonest way.

Our society has unfortunately become one where we give power to people who claim to be offended (worst of all, to be offended on behalf of other people rather than being personally offended themselves). How do we undo this harmful social trend?

[someguyusa]

So then, we may find something offensive, but not be offended by it. This distinction enables to us to maintain our composure and emotional control rather than acting purely out of an emotional reaction. I suppose that means we may still protest or confront something we find offensive, but in a calm, collected manner. That's a good distinction to make.

[sooperdt]

I don't take offense, I take umbrage!