What Does it Take to Heal from Narcissistic Abuse

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What does it take to heal? What is the thought process and the philosophy behind healing? is it as easy as going "No Contact"? is it as simple as going back to life as it was before? can we just up and leave the relationship and meditate, include a good self-care routine and get on with our lives?
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Timestamps:
• 0:00 | What does it take?
• 0:03 | 9 Years of Experience
• 0:20 | It's difficult
• 0:48 | Narcissistic abuse is an infection
• 2:21 | Diminish Contact
• 2:43 | The first step
• 3:05 | Step 2
• 4:26 | What if you never grew up?
• 5:57 | Infantalised through abuse
• 6:23 | individuate and exceed
• 8:16 | Born Again
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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTHCARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.

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#SOCIOPATHY #Abuse #RichardGrannon

[marilynminer]

There was a moment, one night, standing out on the deck in the crisp night air alone, surrounded by 5 acres of beloved natural land, the decision was made, the words came out, "Time to be a Grown Up." I left within weeks, after 25 years, after a lifetime; I was 61. And, all went from there. It definitely got "worse" before it got better, but even "worse" was BETTER.

[maethompson]

For me it was researching NPD and understanding that there was nothing I could have done to change the outcome of our relationship. I accepted my responsibility in the relationship and I changed. Acceptance was the key to my healing and closure and moving on as well as forgiveness. You can't really change others but you can change yourself. It's no small thing, but it's a beautiful thing.

[kimstrandberg]

I think one of the many reasons it’s so hard to heal from is that the injury to yourself is attached to your primordial infantile, subconsciously wounding from (lack of or inadequate) bonding and attachment. Neglect, abandonment, abuse, parentifying children, smothering them - all create devastating lifelong wounds and we attach ourselves to partners that pinpoint that very wound and we feel like we’re home. Unconditioning THAT is the work of a lifetime.

[jolesliewhitten]

Mr. Brannon, I married two narcissists and stayed a total of 39 years—not believing in divorce. I stayed alone 9 years before meeting a great guy who also had been with two narcissists for 45 years. We are STILL healing. It’s a life long process—no contact with the abusers.

[therealericjackdaniels]

When I finally broke from my Narcissistic abuser after 15yrs I went back to the state I was living in right before we met.
Upon my return I discovered that everyone else had moved on with their lives. Their children have had children. A quarter of the people I knew had died.
There was nothing the same. Nothing.
You can’t go back to how and who you were.
We are supposed to progress through life as I see everyone I knew has done.
But not me. I feel like stuck between the boy that left and the man that returned but badly damaged.

This is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to endure in my life.
Like being stuck in limbo. Can’t move forward and certainly can’t go back.

[knowledgeseeker]

Take as much time as you need to feel well again. I thought once I left the situation I would have constant peace, joy and happiness. Wrong. My thoughts started stealing my peace, joy and happiness as if I was still in the abusive relationship. Literally I became my own abuser. It’s a total mind shift for me. I have to autocorrect my thoughts every day. I no longer put a timeframe on my healing.

[suziq]

There is a rather huge blessing from being in an abusive relationship with a covert narcissist for 6 years that your video brought into view for me. This blessing is that it forced me to look closely enough into myself that I can now see those places where I never did individuate, to use your term. This is an extremely timely and pertinent concept for me. I'm 70, so it will be an interesting project, this rebirthing of my individuality! Here I go!

[Blue_]

"You have been re-infantilized", yes you become só dependent. "Your mind has been colonized". Yes!! These are very clear descriptions I haven't heard before, but describe it well. Thank you.

[denisemarum]

This guy is definitely one of the best in terms of narcissistic relationship. One of the reasons for it, I believe, is that he's 'been there', he's experienced narcissistic abuse in his guts. That makes all the difference.
Thank you and congratulations for the incredible work you've been doing.

[silverreins]

I healed because I built a sense of self, my likes, my dislikes, my interests, my own goals, and a life I love and could be proud of. Building a sense of self was the answer for me to heal from narcissistic abuse. Watching your video on values that asks the question what is good, what is evil, in context definitely hit me hard. I still love that video so much. Narcissistic abuse makes us question and doubt ourselves and our power, but if we know who we are and love ourselves, even the imperfections, we won’t put up with anything that doesn’t meet our own level of love for ourselves.

[nillarohr]

Acceptance, distancing, grieving and recreate your life by redefining what makes you happy and makes you a whole creative human embodied beeing ! 💜💜💜 PS cultural narcissism makes hinders and there you have an important part as coach.

[jeanetteoneill]

Dear Richard..I have been infected by my narcissistic mother. As an adult, I was always away from her, not knowing why. Today, I am 73, and am my mothers caregiver..she’s 93….I know now why I am the way I am…it’s a horrible existence to say the least….I pray this too shall pass….I love hearing you….keep up the great work…

[patrikkonat]

I think the true healing comes when you realize you are infected and that its going to be a positive ride to be reborn.

[belindablunderbus]

I was only 17 when the 28 year old narc got hold of me.
Richard your eloquence about parentification, healing, infantilisation, authenticity is so validating. Thanks for fighting the good fight and sharing your energy. Namaste lovely human!

[iconc]

I was in narcissistic relationships. They hooked into the wound caused by a narcissistic mother. During my healing I've gone to the root. I resonate with "born again". I have NEVER felt safe or protected. I don't have the neural pathways. I have to re- create them, with help. From the ground up. The deepest levels of self that never were.

[narelledavis]

It wasn’t until I learned that I was dying that I decided that I didn’t want to waist anymore time being miserable and exhausted. I cut all contact but I still have flashes that take me back to those feelings and memories. But I am still so relieved that I don’t have to deal with that person ever again. I saw the person recently and while it threw me for a few hours (I ignored the narcissist)but it reinforced that I am free and that is what matters! Thank you for your videos and I wish everyone who has experienced this well and hope you all find some new versions of peace and happiness!

[JanetChui]

If the narcissist was a parent or both, there is definitely no Before

[danielp]

Accept that one part of you had to die to escape. Accept your shadow and try to grow up again. No contact and Oh ye and get help with trauma. For me personally one tough thing to learn was "there are much worse things than to be alone" 5 years here, am I healed... Nah.... But I move in a new direction

[patient]

It's a little bit like beating a drug addiction in my experience. You go through a growth period and it's a little scary and confusing.. Same when I finally left the narc.. I'm getting there though. I'm quite content and happy on my own, my ambition is returning, I see through everyone's bullshit and won't take anyone's toxic behavior .. I'm definitely not the same person I was, but that person had to die so the stronger version could be born.. I think these things can be turned into a superpower

[fearlessway]

You just explained what I am doing right now in a healing process from the two narcassists in my life, my parents. It's a deep and long process.