Asparagus Pasta I am a non trad wife

This video is NOT meant to start beef with trad-wives. TBH, I think the definition of “trad-wife” isn’t concrete enough to disagree about anything. I just know that under any definition of the word, I’m not one of them and never have been.

When I saw all the videos going viral for glorifying the trad-wife, it seemed, at first, like an honest response to the invisibilization of the women who are homemakers, a cheeky way of saying, “Hey, I’m enough as I am.” And there’s definitely truth in this—women who choose to stay at home while their partners work outside of the home—they shouldn’t have to prove their worth, to us or to their partners.

But I wonder if the pendulum has swung too far. Too often, I’ve seen men not just glorify the “trad wife” but also denigrate the “non-trad wife.” We have been fed a “diabolical lie,” according to these men, and our ambition will be our ruin. What a load of horse manure. I chose my career because I simply couldn’t stomach trusting any man with my financial security. Also, I knew I was smarter than most of the men I met, so why couldn’t I allow myself to compete for their jobs? Finally, I wasn’t in a position to bring kids into my home and even if I had been, I’m not sure why *I* should be the one to give up my career for it simply b/c of my gender.

More fundamentally, though, I’ve been thinking about what it means to let women just BE? A few videos ago, I shared how so many accused me of being a self-loathing racist against myself because I had the audacity to fall in love with someone outside my race. How is it that we are still living in a world where men get to tell me whom I should love? Why do we always have to prove the merit of our choices? Why must our choices always be interrogated like we’ve committed some sort of crime? Why doesn’t anyone ever trust us to do what’s best for us?

And WHY do we do it to each other?

Also, you can get the full recipe for this Asparagus Pasta here:

#nontradwife #tradwife #veganfood

[JuliusScissor-ws]

This is feminism at its core, let women just be, let us choose

[vxri]

i’m 20 and refuse to have kids, so this is refreshing. you don’t NEED a reason, you choose to have one. Your wording is beautiful

[priscillal]

People don't understand how hard it is to work in that line of work and then expect you to be this soft person when you get home. It takes a certain type of person to be an attorney.

[MS-kntt]

I really appreciate this. I’m disabled and fully coming to terms with what these means for my life only in the last year or so. Sometimes it’s hard to live with, and I struggle with guilt for not doing more than I’m physically able to do. It’s soothing to see how other women bring contentment into their complicated selves and lives.
Also that pasta looks really good.

[sakuranohanawaitsuni]

I don't usually comment on this platform. But her "They all deserve to be seen." line just hit me so hard. I just needed to feel valued with juggling work and taking care of my child.

Thank you so much for this.

[DooDooMuffins]

I'm a traditional wife. You have my support and respect. We are all important, we all matter. We all make meaningful contributions to the future. ❤

[Lee]

👸"All women should be allowed to be. They all deserve to be seen "❤

[SHE]

I’m not gonna lie—when she strut through that door, I knew this video was gonna be everything that it needed to be. That step was everything ✊🏾

[AbbieLewisCorrea]

Finally, someone said it in words I couldn't articulate. I'm always saying, "just let me be".… People always take it as rude, like I'm telling them to leave me alone. That's not what I mean at all! This is exactly what I mean.

[MbIseeU]

I’m a doctor and own my private practice. I feel the energy you give when you talk about the work you vs the home you. The long tiring hours and never turning that persona off. I don’t like to come home and cook, but I do have kids and I depend on the older ones to help with cooking and cleaning. It’s not great but we all pitch in.

[itsjuls]

I'm not even a wife and this healed something for me 😢

[RebaMcImTired]

Here before the angry men come flooding in.

[Divussence]

My mom is Korean and is also named Joanne. Seeing you do your thang gives me a great comfort. Love your content!

[Abiba-ko]

Your voice is so soothing. The kind of voice that narrates a movie

[EstRoscoe]

"sort of offensive I had to work all day and then come home and subject myself to subpar food" sheesh haha

[JamesSmith-egln]

Love this! I am a stay at home mum and so often other woman will tell me how I cant be a feminist or think im judging them because they work but in reality this is just what works for me and i couldn't be happier that other women have the choice to chase their own dreams and find out what works for them 😊

[chickennuggie]

This is really inspiring for me as a young woman who isn’t married. I know that wasn’t the intended audience but I’ve always had respect for all sorts of women whether they were traditional or not. It made me realize it doesn’t matter what my life ends up like, as long as at the end of the day I get to still be me. Just let women be and if you are a woman I just I want you guys to know I appreciate y’all and thank you for setting standards for us to just be. I know it’s a work in progress, but to any woman out there—just be✨❤️

[nyxthevampire]

I’m a non trad wife. I work days, my husband works nights. We both work from home and have 2 other roommates. I love cooking and struggle with cleaning, but he hounds me a little to pick up after myself because I live here (aka a totally reasonable request) and he helps if cleaning takes too much out of me. When my work ends, his work begins, so he tends to heat up my lunch or order takeout for me when I’m hungry and in return I make dinner for the both of us because it gives me a break from sitting and I love food. Sometimes if I’m off I’ll go on coffee runs for him or if I’m out eating dinner with our friends I’ll get him something and maybe a Red Bull to keep him awake. He takes little breaks from his work and gives me little back rubs. I mostly try to keep quiet because I want him to sleep the best he can when he is all wrapped up in blankets.

I love living with him. I know our situation could be better, but I’m happy where we are now and I hope everything works out in the end.

[miazakI-CANADA]

I don’t usually comment but this moved me. I am happy I found your channel through this

[Dillydally]

You remind me a little bit of my mother, she was the one working and going through this