I Made Myself Blind: Living With BIID

I Made Myself Blind: Living With BIID

FOR most people becoming blind would be a living nightmare - but for Jewel Shuping it was the fulfilment of a lifelong dream. Jewel, 30, from North Carolina, USA, has Body Integrity Identity Disorder (BIID), a condition in which able-bodied people believe they are meant to be disabled. Her need to lose her sight was so strong that in 2006 she decided to blind herself - by having a sympathetic psychologist pour DRAIN CLEANER into her eyes. As a young child she would spend hours staring at the sun in a bid to damage her eyes, acquiring her first white cane aged 18 and becoming fully fluent in braille by the age of 20. Tired of being secretive due to the stigma surrounding the condition, Jewel is now sharing her story to help raise public awareness of BIID and to encourage people with the condition to seek professional help.

Videographer / Director: Ruaridh Connellan
Producer: Tom Midlane, Nick Johnson
Editor: Sonia Estal, Ian Phillips

For more of the amazing side of life:

[MollyBurkeOfficial]

I went blind at 14 due to a rare eye disease and it's the hardest thing I've ever been through. I nearly took my own life because it was such a difficult adjustment and something I'd never wish on anyone. I find this absolutely offensive and don't understand how anyone in the blind community could be accepting of her choice... This is just shocking and I feel it just takes away from the hardships of going blind for those of us who don't choose this life.

[janayah]

Literally my biggest fear is going blind

[tandysaysyoucandoanything]

As a psychologist, that is my worst nightmare. I WOULD NOT do that to a patient nor endorse such behavior.

[LechLecha]

That therapist needs to lose his license. His actions are beyond unethical and crosses into pathological.

[trevor]

I cant believe somebody helped her do this.

[macance]

I don't know... does anyone else have a hard time believing that she is actually happy?

[dabneyscholler]

This is insane. If she wanted to be blind, I know several people, including my mother, who would gladly trade places with her. It's not like blind people can decide to see.

[jessicawatson]

The worst part is that a psychologist ‘helped’ her.

[elegxntartist]

i hate it so much when she said *being blind was definitely a hard decision to make*

[CookieGoofy]

I'm super late to this video but I just remembered it out of the blue and decided to rewatch it and comment about my own experiences with sight, because my god this actually makes me so upset now. I was born with really messed up eyes. I'm legally blind with glasses and totally blind in my right eye. I have chronic eye pain and straining my eyes just to experience the world is a daily thing, but the most painful realization I've ever had to come to is knowing it's going to get worse. I know that one day this is going to be gone. I didn't confront that for the first 14 years of my life even though I knew, I was in denial, but ever since I confronted that I've developed so much anxiety about my sight. It's this cycle over and over again of being convinced that something's wrong, and this is clearly the sign that total blindness is just moments away. It'll be like that until the day it's gone, so seeing this woman willingly throw away something I desperately wish I had: stable, clear eyesight. That upsets me, and clearly upsets not only people from the blind community but the BIID community too. Really disturbing to watch this lady take away what I consider a privilege, and watch everyone be cool with it. This woman needed some actual help, not the clowns in this that enabled her beyond return.

[joshtayz]

I'm angry because I am visually impaired and we are busy crying out here to see well, BUT here some are blessed to take away their sight. Who does that. She is not grateful. It is wrong what she did

[phoenixsnilloc]

“Im Going Blind, It’s Gonna Be Okay.”


*_NO IT’S NOT_*

[anthonyhauser]

SHE WAS GIVEN THE GIFT OF SIGHT AND SHE TOOK IT AWAY

[indulekhamoore]

This makes me feel physically sick. We're being encouraged to accept that things like this are something we should understand. It's beyond belief that a psychologist did this to her.

[Artichokehead]

My brother is blind and talks about how much he wishes he wasn’t, the fact that she made herself blind, and is getting support from people is disgusting

[real.anameria]

If I went blind I think I would get a panic attack every single day.

[katesmortimer]

'A sympathetic psychologist poured drain cleaner into her eyes' I hope that person lost their What sort of professional does that??

[ameliab]

I can't believe it, between the ages of 8 and maybe 11 I was so so afraid that I'd turn blind someday, and it's so uncomfortable for me to listen to what this woman did to herself. I get that she is sick, but it doesn't mean that she should get more 'sick' to treat it. If putting drain cleaner in my eyes would somehow cure my OCD, I still wouldn't do it, and that's the line between having a condition and being unable to think straight.

[Jhonjgh]

She had absolutely beautiful blue eyes

[darkwingduke]

Let this soak in, a doctor who is supposed to help prevent insanity and self harm... promoted insanity and self harm