3 Mistakes That Ruin Your Chances Of Getting Your Ex Back

Hi! I'm Chris Seiter, professional relationship consultant with a specialization in break ups.

You're going to be taken to a quiz that's going to ask you some real pointed questions about your break up situation because one thing that we're always asked time and time again is, "Chris, is this even worth my time?" So, I put this quiz together to kind of give you some insight into that question. Alright, so now that that's out of the way, let's get started and talk about some of the biggest mistakes you're making right now with your ex boyfriend.

So, the first mistake that I see women constantly making after they go through a break up is going into begging/pleading mode. I've come up with kind of an interesting terminology to help you understand how men perceive this, GNATTING.G-oing N-uts A-t T-exting. Now, when you look at gnatting, there's one thing that I think you really need to get through your head. If you're in a situation where begging or pleading for your ex back, two things are going to happen. One of two things typically.

There's a beggar and a receiver. When you're looking at a situations like this typically, especially during a break up. If you're the beggar, if you are begging for your ex back, that's puts him in a receiver position. If  you're looking at this at a value proposition scale, that means he doesn't see you as a very high value target or high value woman if you will. So, the real key on getting your ex back is to instead flip the paradigm. Instead of becoming the beggar, make him be the beggar and you be the receiver. "Yeah, Chris. Kind of got that.

The question is how?"That's actually an excellent question and at least directly into the number 2 mistake that women make. You see in almost all the instances with women that I personally worked with, I found out that they had at one point begged or pleaded for their ex back. Now, that's pretty standard when you're looking at trying to get an ex back. So, how do we overcome that? Well, we overcome that by using something called a no contact rule. Now, the no contact rule is kind of this mythical fairy creature that you can find anywhere on the internet. You just simply type into search and a bunch of websites are going to come up explaining what the no contact rule is.

But the one thing that I've always found is how definitions kind of differ from expert to expert. I'm a big believer in using kind of tests and experiments to figure out what the best way to utilize a no contact rule is. Oh, if you're wondering, a no contact rule is simply a period of time where you don't contact your ex. "Woah! Isn't that a little bit extreme.

I mean don't even talk to him?"Well, while it may be extreme, I've actually found that around 70% of my personal success stories of helping women get back with their exes, have utilized at least some form of the no contact rule and if you're looking at things a little bit deeper, if you come on to our Facebook group, which is  a private Facebook group where we basically kind of help women, support them and get them through break ups, we found that 100% of the women there that have gotten their exes back have utilized some form of no contact. So, it's kind of an important piece of this puzzle. "Ok, can you tell us why it's an important piece?"Well, you know I actually find that the no contact rule is the most important strategy for getting your ex back.

[piadelatorre]

Hi, Chris! I initially ignored your videos at first, though I had watched some, but as I watch your other videos, I just find myself nodding and super agreeing to what you're saying. I didn't know you were that sensible. Hehe. I'm still scrolling through your videos. Keep on sharing! I hope that one day either my ex bf comes back to me or I'll move on. Either way, it's a win-win situation. I hope that your videos will truly help me. Thank you! 😊

[nadanasr]

My ex broke up  with me two months back i applied no contact rule we are working together and few days back i hear from his friends that he was crying and he is missing me i sent to him text that i remember this movie that we saw together he replied that he misses me we have talked twice at work he told me that he still missing me and loves me but he can't be in a relationship we arranged a date to talk then he canceled our date and text me that he promises he will make me happy t... unfortunately i rushed my feelings  and he text me that he can't be in a relationship i was so angry and said that i don't want him back and to forget me .. he read my messages with no reply .. We have talked 2days back he said that he is confused sometimes he feels he is in love with me sometimes  he feels that he doesn't want me back Ana. He knows that i'm so beautiful and any man would like to be with me but he can't be with me as he isn't sure of his feelings and he is afraid to leave me again.. I feel that he likes a girl with us in work I feel pain in my heart that if he. Entered this relationship and be with her every day infront of me please help me i'm dying inside

[cambellh]

Tomorrow is my birthday and will also be day 4 of my no contact period...if my ex wishes me a happy birthday do I ignore it?

[foodforthesoul]

He left me for another girl ( his best friend) and now wants me to move on and says i should not wait for him. Everyone tells me that the girl has played tricks on him. What should i do? should i still expect that he will come back?. we were together for around 4 and a half years.

[Holaamiwos]

My ex and I broke up 8 months ago, I tried to reconnect 2 months ago but it didn't work out.. I think I rushed things and gave him an ultimatum.. I started the no contact but now is over.. We talked on Sunday at a friend's party and he was kinda nervous! I contacted him and it went pretty good.. How often should I text him?

[stephb]

When it comes to social media, wouldn’t it be best to stay off of it to keep your ex wondering what you are up to?

[aquarius-mdll]

Hi chris.
I broke up with him because he was not communicating. I sent him message that im sorry to block him to get him out of my life ( right away block him on wats up & unfriend him on facebook) . After 10 days of my no contact: he sent facebook friend request . It has been one week i havent accept .
My question : please you think i should accept or maintain no contact and how long should no contact last? If i accept after no contact period, i start liking his posts or be distant until he communicates like someone significant ?

[videogamekevin]

Hi there!

Me and my exgirlfriend reccently broke up today but we've dated for two months. She still has feelings for me and I have feelings for her. She has strict parents that don't want her dating. We both want to focus on school and helping around the household but I still want to be with her. She told me ever since we've dated, she's been struggling and I was trying to be there. Ever since we broke up, I couldn't sleep and I was thinking of her. I'm not ready to move on. What can I do? How can I get her back because I miss her. And I want to get through her parents to think that I'm a good person. Like I'm a catholic and I go ti church every sunday. I want to be a therapist when I get older while my exgirlfriend wants to be a nurse. I help around the house. We were just facetiming and she's telling me she wants to move on because she's not in a good position to be in a relationship, but I do not want to let her go.

[TwentyEightStreetMedia]

Does he have a video on the man’s pov?

[melissascheerer]

Been broken up for 7 months now. No contact on either side. He has a new gf now. I’m assuming it’s hopeless. Been radio silent since it happened so has he.

[milagrosrodriguez]

I have made those mistakes than I did the no contact for a month reached out nothing did it again reached out than nothing so I haven't reached out no more been months haven't heard from him I lived an hour n a half away n he had trust issues n left me after 2 years for a rebound that lives closer so I truly don't know if he misses me or if he regretted it if his pride n ego is stopping him it just took me off guard because he said I was the only woman who treated him right but I also know he tried controlling his heart that he felt more I just don't know if pride is holding him back can in time his pride n ego break down to reach out? I just don't want to reach out no more

[cowoy]

My ex broke up with me last night bawling because she felt like we didn't share the same feelings as when we started dating 7 months ago. The problem is my college is 3 hours away from hers and I have no car. I already got accepted to transfer to her college but I was gonna surprise her. Honestly, she is my would... so I don't know what to do.

[chempanda]

My ex hasnt responded to me for over a week, is this a sign he’s going into his own no contact? I’ve been leaning back since he didn’t respond. I have done no contact 2 months ago prior to interacting with him again.

[ashleyjhanenieveras]

ive been begging for him for 1week since yesterday, i ask. him to meet me and celebrate with me christmas and he really meet me and he told me it was last next time i wont force him to meet me again because he dont want anymore, only today i want to try the no contact rule so since last nyt when we say gudnyt to each. other until now i havent message him, is there still chance i win him back even i already beg for him for almost 1 week

[noorkalumba]

Thanks. Wish I'd follow this sooner

[icygirlforlife]

My ex and I were having a amazing relationship then he went to school trip I felt he became different it wasn’t like he was not talking or so he was but we talked very less and he always posted stories of his best friend she is a girl. We started having a lot of arguments. When he came back we had a bad fight I started it and I promised him I won’t be jealous or so of his girls as friends. Next day I got mad again I pressured him and kept on asking if he wants to be with or not he said he needed time I kept on pressuring him he said we r fighting a lot so let’s break up. I texted him so many times no no I love you I called I cried everything for another chance i pleasaed him so much he said this is the best for us next day i went to school i talked to him he said no. I also talked to his ex cause we really hated Each other he asked her what I told her and he is mad that I talked to her. I pleased him a lot he Is cold to me he looks at me then when I am not looking and he gets jelous when I talk to boys I really want him back I know it was my fault but even his ex said he dose this to every girl I don’t believe so but ya even my friends so he won’t come back he is a very straight forward person

[milagrosrodriguez]

The no contact helped me I was an emotional wreck I didn't think I was ever going to feel better like I couldn't see pass my pain but YES I would love him back but how can he get pass his trust issues that was from his pass n we was happy we was doing it for 2 years I also think maybe he was feeling like trapped of his freedom also I guess but we saw each other monthly since money was kinda tight for gas I couldn't see him weekly but we was always calling video texts calls I just wish he reaches out on his own THAT WILL BE GREAT that it comes from him

[damir]

Since everything went to hell might as well tell my story for a closure. Im 28. Got dumped 35 days ago after a 5 year relationship deservedly. The breakup probably saved me from ruining my life. I made a million stupid mistakes. Havent got my life in order and was getting dragged through life. I always had it easy so i didnt have to try hard at anything. Parents had money i was good looking, potential pro basketball player till i blew out my knees, got all As till college hit me hard. Probably had a god complex. Basically i was a clueless narcissistic idiot.
My ex gf on the other hand is basically a saint. Moved towns for me. Worked 2 jobs. Probably the most talented musician youll ever see. We moved in together a year ago and everything slowly starting going to hell. The job we thought would make us money fell through. I got fat lazy and depressed. We started having money problems. Didnt want to leave the house. I fought with my parents and she couldnt listen to it anymore. Basically i became the scum of the earth when i look at it now. I didnt apreciate her enough.
Now when it happened it hit me hard and i broke down completely. It was the worst feeling in my life. Actually fainted couple of times. And when youre 6f5 and weight 130kg the whole building shakes when you hit the ground. I hurt myself quite a bit but didnt say anything to anyone. I begged, pleaded for a month. I hit the gym every day and train at home like a maniac after that until i cant stand on my feet. Lost 10kg in 30 days. I made up with my family and am trying to fix the way i behave. I even apologised to her friends i was a dick to when i ran into them in the street. All of those things i could change i changed. I tried no contact for 6 days twice. I know its not enough but it had absolutely no effect. She was glad i was not contacting her. Then we fought and basically she still thinks im scum which i was. She is absolutely correct that i was garbage. I was a burden to her and now she is free.
How the hell does one reatract a person that is honestly better off being without you in her life.
There. My story. We just fought a few hours ago through text messages and you could feel she is completely void of any positive feelings. Had to write this somewhere. Even basterds can have their heart broken.

[ThePantha]

So my ex and I have had a few convos since no contact ended and she agreed to get coffee with me this Saturday on her lunch break. But it's weird because in our convos she seems really different and not crazy interested in our messages but still wanted to get coffee is this weird ?

[kabrinabeauty]

I really need some advice.. me and and my ex broke up a week ago and out of anger I deleted him on Facebook the day of our breakup, I want him back though so should I add him back so can he see what I post? I'm the 3rd day of no contact. Love your videos and I would love a reply