'No Matter What I Do I Can't Get Over Them. PLEASE HELP!' | Matthew Hussey

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[sadiaali]

Indeed. Never lose yourself while trying to hold on to someone who doesn’t care about losing you.

[TheSingleGuy]

This advice appears quite frequently. For me in heartbreak the part that hurts the most is that you gave and showed everything to someone and they didn't want it.

[testing.]

I'm gonna be honest, I'm putting this on loop until It's committed to memory.

[snowwalker]

It's not always that obvious. The main reason behind the inability to get over someone is that, that someone at some point made us feel we were the one and they did want to be with us. We just can't stop thinking what went wrong? or can we reverse that? OK, let's accept that they were cruel or they just changed their mind. That's what people do.

[NathalieLazo]

The more we work on our own selves, the better we attract, in this case, a better partner and a phenomenal relationship. There’s no such thing as the “right person” (to an extend) we have to become the right person first! You got this, I believe in you and invest into YOU! Best investment you can ever do is in yourself for your family, others, future and lives overall! 💯% back guarantee return on your investment! Have a great day! 🚀🎉❤️

[resurgam]

That's the part that hurts though, not being chosen.

[BlondeQtie]

If he treats me badly or doesn’t want to be with me, he doesn’t love me. Why would I want to be with someone that doesn’t love me? I am DESERVING of love and kind treatment. The love I feel for him comes from inside me. I have the ability to love and to give. And I can also give it to someone else that is deserving of it!
That’s what I told myself in the past 🥰

[thehealingfairee]

I don't feel like this really addressed the question. You can logically understand that yet still emotionally be attached for months/years.

What helps me become unattached is getting to the root of why I'm so attached! Find out what limiting beliefs you have, like they're so special for XYZ reasons and I'll never find someone like that again. Or, I'm not worthy of being with someone as incredible as them. Or I can't be truly happy until I'm in a relationship with someone like them, etc. Then everyday tell yourself affirmations opposing the belief! Even if it takes years, I can and will find someone who meets all my standards! I am absolutely worthy of being in a relationship with someone I adore! I don't need to be in a relationship right now to be happy, I can be equally as happy without one, etc.

And another huge component is validating your emotions. You can't shame yourself out of a feeling! Let yourself know that even though it's been months/years you're still stuck on/obsessed with somebody, that's okay. It's not ideal, it's not where you want to be, but it is where you are and you have to accept that in the present moment. Your inner child just really wants somebody to love and that's completely valid! Let yourself feel the loss/pining, and then give your inner child love and remind them that you have all the love you need within you ❤️

[boyjcmirabel]

This makes it all obvious.

Recognize that no one who could be the love of my life would not be choosing me.
-Matthew Hussey

[lunar]

To get past that all-consuming pain of a relationship ending, a situationship or unrequited love, the best advice I ever heard was after letting yourself grieve the loss, allow yourself to simply love them forever.

It sounds a little counterintuitive but it removes the cognitive dissonance between the reality you want versus the reality you have (and I think that is the place the majority of the pain is in). Letting yourself love allows you to live in the present reality. This is where the saying ‘time heals all wounds’ is applicable, but only time spent in the present is able to do this and if you spend that time dwelling on the past or the imaging the future, it won’t serve a healing purpose. If you allow yourself to continue loving someone in the present, It requires you to learn how to love someone without their presence in your day to day life. You have to learn how to care for yourself so you can continue to love them. Even if you are completely correct that that person was completely perfect for you, the more time you allow to pass in reality the more understanding you gain that it was a past version of them, that was perfect for a past version of you. The current you now has new needs, new goals, new strengths, new experiences, new boundaries and new ways to add value into your own life and the lives of those you care for.

[UsagiChanSakura]

I'm on day 21 of no contact, its still so hard to get by everyday. It's like he's flipped a switch, we went from talking everyday and saying 'I love you' to nothing, a part of me still hasn't accepted it. I know I need to move on and I know I can't take him back even if he does come around, It's just so hard... so painful...

[YukonFox]

Hmm. I don’t know. I find it easier to let go of someone by imagining that they *are* dead, thus there is no hope of reconciliation.

[chrisjenkins]

Such a simple, yet true statement and fact..If someone who you've decided is the 'love of your life, ' is not also choosing you as the same, well then he just simply isn't the right guy..Because the right guy isn't going to not choose you..period.

[Michael_Livingstone]

The brain clings to the fantasy of what could have been even though it never happened. But just remember it’s the emotional side and not logic. Once you find something to fill the time you’ll think of them less and less.

[jessicaw]

If you're Christian like me, I also like to put it this way:
My Heavenly Father only wants good things for me. And if this guy is telling me no or God is telling me no about that guy, then he must not be good for me. . . and God must have someone EVEN BETTER.

[meredithbarrett]

You’re advice is genius as usual Matthew. This video really has an underlying message Of healthy self-love. The worst thing in the world is unrequited love. It produces such deep feelings of hurt and rejection, and can be a total assault on our self-esteem. We are so much better off and free ourselves when we dismiss them and let them go. It is a great act of self love and makes room for us to find the love of our lives.

[margaretrozario]

It's always how you treat yourself. Anyone and everyone will treat you lesser or at maximum equal no one will treat you better then you treat yourself.

[kel]

Hey, likely you dodged a bullet!

There isn’t a shortage of single people out there!
If someone leaves; let em!

Who wants someone who’s ready to jump ship at anytime!!! Nobody!!
Be grateful if someone showed you who they are; listen to them!

Gotta kiss a lot of frogs to find your prince or princess!!! 😉
That’s life, it’s all experience! 💪

Please don’t go ‘All In’ for someone that isn’t doing the same back!!!

Don’t throw your heart out to idiots;
Some people with never appreciate you, no matter what you do!

Save yourself for someone, that doesn’t make you question their intentions! 🙏😘

[mariamoncadajamaicamelovet]

No truer words. I’ve decided to move on from the man I love because he’s just not right for me.

[janetjay]

He still walks the earth the love of my life. Loved that lol