Alcoholics Anonymous and Sponsorship

Do you need a sponsor in recovery?
Do you need a sponsor in AA?
Do you need a sponsor to quit drinking?
Do you need a sponsor to stay sober?

The original 164 pages of recovery found in the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous never mentions the word sponsor.

I have nothing against good sponsorship. Beware...not all sponsors are good.

I am not a: medical professional, therapist, counselor.
Do not replace advice from your doctor, therapist, counselor, etc. with my suggestions

[siredwardrogers]

Thank God for my Sponsor who never told me what to do or to call him everyday. He made wonderful suggestions based on his experience of recovery through a 12 step recovery program. 35 years later I live my life, Happy Joyous and Free. Ed

[mrsme]

The sponsors hurting people are those who do service based recovery instead of recovery based service.

[Mrssmallslims]

I’ve just had this with my OA sponsor she dumped me because I couldn’t commit to doing 3 outreach calls every day as well as attending 2 meetings 🤦‍♀️ I don’t feel like she added any benefit to me more stress which was more likely to make me fail seeing as stress is my biggest food trigger 🤦‍♀️ thanks for sharing this

[Dtrain]

I've been clean and sober for 4 years 3 months. Had a sponsor my first two years then let him go because I felt guilty I never called him and didn't like feeling guilty.
I attribute my 4-plus years to a profound spiritual awakening...and a conscious dedication to that. I love being sober; the difference between where I was and where I am today is immeasurable.
For me, it's all about looking within.
I also have made good connections in the fellowship.
Honesty, with oneself and others, combined with the spiritual element has been my personal blueprint. 🙏❤🌞

[j.rivera]

I flat out refuse to get a sponsor. Im not calling anyone on my free time, that isn’t my family. I’m also accountable and responsible for ME and MY decisions. I am never off the hook for being responsible for my actions.

[greatone]

It's the first sponser who does the most damage, be very very careful who you let into your head as a lot of people in AA are not well mentally & emotionally.

[steveelam]

Big book says spiritual advisor too, as far as doing 5th step, I believe I will bond with certain people but I don't feel the need for a sponsor, 2 years sober, feels good, crazy this was sent to me, glad I'm not alone

[larryuk]

I'm 15 years sober. I have been sponsored and have sponsored many. I am currently without a sponsor but do have a number of experienced individuals that I can turn to. I also no longer formally sponsor people, but am happy to meet for coffee etc and provide support.
I think what you have said is fair and balanced. Thanks for sharing.

[steve]

Excellent review on sponsorship. All to often a lie becomes the truth if said often enough. The rubbish regarding lineage of sponsorship is dangerous. I hear members claim their sobriety is better because their sponsor had a sponsor whose sponsor knew someone who lived near a circuit speaker in America. Worse than that is the rubbish of acknowledging your "sponsor and "grand sponsor" ie sponsors sponsor when you share, or needing to dress in a certain way because your sponsor wants all his sponsees to reflect well on him.
Sponsorship is about walking with a newcomer, sharing what you did not what they have to do. Showing the newcomer that there is a spiritual solution to this illness and most importantly that the third step is about handing your will and life to the care of God as you understand god to be . Not to the care of your sponsor who wants to be god

[brandonwhodeyer]

In my experience and my opinion having a sponsor is a must. There's many reasons but for example when I was new I could be on the 8 and 9th step and go and make an amends and end up hurting the person more. Another one is secrets keep us sick. Another one is resentments. Hard to see my part if I'm blaming everyone else when clearly I had a part. But I also can see a unhealthy dependency on a sponsor which is something an individual needs to address cuz just because one doesn't have a sponsor doesn't mean they won't have other unhealthy dependencies on other people as well.

[jakmak]

I've been in and out of AA for the last 30 years and I found it I got tired of people asking me if I have a sponsor or not and I know the big book does not mention getting a sponsor it talks about getting a closed-mouth friend so now when someone asked me if I have a sponsor I say yes I have four of them I have a financial sponsor, a relationship sponsor, spiritual sponsor, and a program sponsor and that usually shuts them up. I believe that if it's not in the BB, it's BS.

[coolvideos]

Please don’t stop making these videos. They save lives. I heard some sponsors are terrible, but then eh they are human. I believe the best way is to follow the 12 steps 💯

[jameskochevar]

I've been sober 40 plus years - 33 as an active member. I stayed sober in spite of having a sponsor for the first 5 years. After that I didn't use a sponsor. In fact, I would not be a sponsor, when asked, for anyone. I will be a friend that can be called any time, that will share my experience, that will be helpful, but will never tell anyone what to do. I think the imbalance of power in the sponsorship relationship is DANGEROUS! I agree with much of the 164 pages and it is my opinion that one can get and stay sober by spiritual means.

[aaronperry]

I honestly would not be where I am today without the help of a sponsor

[deniskundrat]

I totally agree with the content. I have had quite a few sponsors in the past. Relationship with most of them were short lived as they exercised their self will on me. Some of them have been good. This time around I am not going to beat the same road. I will consult whomever I feel got answers to my questions, and, many will gladly help. Thanks

[patriciadonnell]

Thank you this is truly so helpful to me. My sponsor is controlling

[JoelMay-km]

After years I found a sponsor. This guy I saw in a meeting offering to help someone. He told him what would happen if he took another drink and damn it was powerful. It will kill me but not before it sees me lose everything and suffer enough to want to die. Then upon death it would become my salvation to want to live only to do it again.

[mordechai_ben_gershon]

In my first sobriety (2016-22) I had a great sponsor for the first year, in Sydney, who went through the Steps with me for 3 months, but for the subsequent five years in Brisbane I didn't seek one. In my second sobriety (June 2023 to the present) I have a sponsor, but he is not able to allocate any time for me, except before and after the weekly meeting which he chairs. I only discovered recently that all sponsors are temporary by nature, which makes sense, as one can't expect a sponsor or sponsee to be for life! Both sponsors have informed me that they are temporary, which I believed that I hadn't got what I wanted, however after watching this video I now realise that I don't need a sponsor, and in fact I did maintain 5.5 years of sobriety without one, although having numbers stored in my smartphone is important. Thankyou for your marvellous videos, David (:

[scottlo]

I got a new sponsor yesterday and I took 1 year. Thats what I'm doing for my recovery. Have no idea what others are going to do and it's none of my business. My ass is on the line. Selfish program

[nathanburton]

Yeah I don’t know where this master slaves /boss subordinate ideal of sponsorship comes in or comes from. It should just be somebody showing you the ropes, which are the steps. I’m talking about AA because I’m in AA.... I also used a lot of drugs alcoholicly ( like Bill W & Dr Bob ). What my sponsor did with me was read the book to me. In the doctors opinion it talks about the cycle of addiction on Roman numerals 28 & 29: I Emerged remorseful for my spree, After a little while got so UNcomfortable in my own skin that I had the peculiar idea that I could drink again, once I started drinking I would change my mind and drink more than I intended and despite negative consequences for a while then again emerge remorseful. I didn’t like Bill story but we read it anyway ( like it now) … I Identified with the description of the alcoholic and could relate to the examples in chapters 2 and three in chapter 4 I got my second step down which is basically I’m not gonna fix this shit on my own in chapter 5 after the bullet points of the steps (which are the steps they’re just summarized bullet points) step three talks about will power...then the admin part of 4-9, 10 is 4-9 on the spot 11 is review at the end of the day & planning on awakening. Chap 7 Doesn’t use the word sponsor but uses the words prospect and protégé. Some other bullshit out here in meetings as well a year before you sponsor anybody I’m glad Bill W didn’t feel that way at 6mo when he reached out to Dr. Bob