I don't know how

[HD please]

Another vent.

I've been working on and off on this for the past month...even though I have all the time in the world to edit at the moment, I can't find the motivation or ideas to actually sit down and work on something for longer than 10 minutes. I'm glad I was eventually able to finish this though.
I know it looks very messy and it is, but it still holds a lot of meaning for me.

I think when you listen to this song you can either see it as someone that is trying hard to love someone else, but they can't, because of emotional baggage or their past, but to me it seemed like a song about someone that is trying very hard to love themselves, but they're struggeling with it a lot. And it's something I relate to so well. Every day I'm trying to push down that hate and disgust I feel for myself, I want to be able to look into the mirror without wanting to look away again, I want to be confident, and proud, and happy to be myself. But its so hard, and I still wish I was someone else, or that I was no one and nothing at all. Maybe one day I'll succeed and I'll be able to accept and love myself. I really hope so, I don't want to continue living like this, like a burden to myself and others.

It's time to change.

[_hiraeth_]

I honestly always get so hooked up at how expressive and beautiful your editing is.
I've always had the same idea of this song and seeing it coming alive is really heartbreaking and amazing to see. I am not really good with words but this is seriously gorgeous & hope this will help you to your road to self-love and appreciation of yourself <3

[Pookiez]

Beautiful video Mona! So happy that you managed to finish something so personal, I hope it could help a little bit with the pain. You're such a caring person, You deserve to be loved just as much as you love others, But more than anything you deserve to love yourself, And I hope that you can manage to do that eventually, Because you deserve it.

[Mickeybeast]

I watched the video before I read your description, and I knew exactly what the message was about, you express your pain so well. The way everything flow, you are so good at that! You pick such perfect scenes to express yourself. I'm glad even with the editors block you were able to edit this! Self hate is such a painful burden to carry, but I was so happy to read. "It's time to change." you have no idea how powerful those words are. I can feel how much you want that. That's the only way to open that door to healing. To have that want to change, because it's has to come from you. I'm so proud of you Mona, and I don't think a lot of people tell you that enough.

[demurenobody]

I’ve been subbed to you for a while and don’t usually comment, but I just wanted to say, I appreciate your videos! You always convey emotions very well! I really like scene choice and glitches in text for this one! Keep up the amazing work! This song is very relatable and I understand what you’re saying about loving yourself. It is very hard but I hope that one day you can love yourself. 💖

[swissphan]

Dieses AMV ist so schön ^w^ 💖 Wirklich toll gemacht. Ich liebe wie du die Emotionen so schön rüberbringst 💖

[DaayZero]

Your editing is beautiful as always. I hope you are doing okay Mona, always here if you need to talk.