How can you be gay and not know? A coming out story 🏳️‍🌈

A late blooming lesbian tale about getting married & having two kids with a man, getting divorced, coming out as bisexual and all the inner turmoil and questioning that comes with finally accepting yourself as a lesbian after nearly 30 years in the closet.

[garagemeissie]

Late blooming lesbian here too. I only realized I was gay at 38. I had been married to my best friend for 12 years and had 2 kids with him, but I never seemed to get used to kissing him or being intimate. I felt more and more lonely. There was too little emotional connection. Then I met a woman in the same situation, we started off as friends, helping eachother - but within a few weeks we fell in love. An emotional roller-coaster followed, it took us 10 (!) years to both get divorced so we could live together, which we have been doing for 5 years now. And happily married.
Yes, it sounds strange... But love finds its way, in the end. There is no stopping love.

[mocantvlog]

The way you described the "THIS is what I want. THIS is the thing, " feeling after being with a woman, was so spot on for me that I cried. Later bloomer who was married to a man here also.

[nightbird]

Hi! I recently discovered that I am gay and have crushes on women. I am 49 years old. I was married to a man earlier in my life. When I figured this out I was shocked but also happy. Great video! :)

[tonilou]

The "you can't know how other people feel/think" is such a big thing cause it enables you to lie to yourself without realizing. For me too, I struggle with my identity cause what does gender feel like to other people? What does being a woman feel like? What does attraction feel like? Do people want to kiss strangers? What do people like about sex?

[CarolineYvonneHallstrom]

I thought I was straight until about six weeks ago. I then realized my "girl crushes" were actual crushes and what I thought was crushes on guys was aesthetic admiration. I was like "I can't be gay, I have a boyfriend" until realizing the boyfriend was the lone exception, the only guy I felt attracted to. I was like "why do I look at him the way I look at girls, he's not even remotely feminine" and over time I put 2 and 2 together. I think I'm a Kinsey 5.9995 or something. I come from a conservative old money family, too, and I haven't come out to them yet. Given how they reacted to me embracing my true authentic aesthetic it's going to be another rough time for me when I get around to it.

[ellouisebadger]

I also grew up thinking I was straight and then I thought I was bisexual and came out in 2021 and I just this year realised I'm a lesbian 🥰🌈

[CrystalMouse]

I'm still happily married to my second husband and I my found out I'm lesbian. He lovingly agreed with me to have an open marriage and stay together. We're wonderful friends

[theawolf]

As someone with basically no experience in dating and intimacy at age 24 that still tries to figure out whether I'm attracted to men or this is just comphet, I feel so validated and seen by your video.
One of the reasons I'm afraid to talk to anyone about this is my age, I just feel like I should have figured this out much sooner and to see someone with a similar experience is just so good

[jayfelsberg]

I must say I found a lot in common with the host:
1. Like her, I'm a "late bloomer" in that I finally accepted myself as a gay man late in life. As long as I remember I had gay desires, but seldom acted on them (most were great and exciting). There were several times I was ready to come out to myself once and for all, but for various reason hesitated.
2. Once I came out to myself, it was such a huge relief, like chains falling off my shoulders. Now for the first time in my life I like who I am, and gave myself the freedom to enjoy who I want to.
3. Sara, you're so right - we don't owe them an explanation. Not to be ugly, but while I cherish those who accept me, the acceptance that matters is when WE accept who we are. Not whether they hate us or not, but of we love ourselves.
Thank you

[toribacarii]

I remember being a huge tomboy, (grew up with 5 brothers). So i had a lot of guy friends. But whenever I was around pretty girls, id get SUPER nervous. But i would never acknowledge those feelings cause I thought being gay was wrong. So i never even thought of the fact that i might actually be attracted to girls.

[emaannnali]

This video resonated with me so hard. Especially the part about first kisses with men!!! Every time I’ve hung out with a boyfriend I dodged the first 5-6 attempts to kiss me and I essentially had to psych myself up to kiss them back lol

[pommebottoms]

SAME, i’m from a religious muslim and found out im a lesbian

[CommonGroundTravels]

You are STUNNING. Currently going through seemingly this exact journey. Thanks for the advice and insight 🤗

[thesweetestpotat]

I appreciate this video and want to add a small clarification: there are a lot of people who worry -- like worry *a lot* -- that they're gay but are actually straight (or worry that they're actually straight even though they're gay). It's called Sexual Orientation OCD or Homosexual OCD. Obviously, I'm not suggesting that this has anything to do with your experience, but you mentioned that people don't worry about being a lesbian if they're not that. That's a common misconception! Same goes for gender identity.

[chelseaballinger]

So relatable. My experience is so similar. Thank you for sharing!!

[ginalipkin]

Look at how you feel first / let your heart inform your head, 💓 you are a Loving and Whole person, self acceptance, embrace yourself

[finallyfreeBMe]

I didn't grow up with religion however I ended up meeting a friend in high school that was 16 who invited me to church. I ended up in a church for 15 years that was against being gay and even went to ex gay ministries. Eventually I found an accepting and affirming church that celebrates the LGBTQ+ community

[whitnielle]

Thank you for this video! Not sure how it ended up on my explore page but this was so validating, especially as a single mom. Thank you 🥰

[magnolia]

hi! i actually resonate with you so much, i wasn’t legally married but i basically was in a common law marriage, with a baby resulting from it.
I’ve always known that i was at the very least bi, but now i’m having my “oh…” moment.

[Jasminejupiterjuice]

8:27 😂 all the deep voices in this video are so funney!!!! 😂😂 and thanks for the content.