Modern Family’s Alex: The Dark Side of Being the Smart Girl

Alex, the middle child of the Dunphy household on Modern Family, in many ways seemed like the perfect daughter: she was incredibly smart, followed the rules, and always kept her mind focused on her grades above all else. And while Alex was very proud of her intelligence, being constantly trapped in the ‘Smart Girl’ box started to wear on her over the seasons – until it broke her completely. Alex’s story provides both a look at how awesome it can be to be the smartest one in the room and the immense pressure that can bring. Let’s unpack Alex’s life as the Smart Girl, what actually caused her problems, and how she overcame them (plus the real reason she and Haley were always fighting.)

CHAPTERS
00:00 Alex's pressure-cooker narrative
00:58 The problems with being the smart girl
03:56 Why she finally cracks
07:09 Her dynamic with Haley
10:21 Thrust into reality

CREDITS
Executive Producers: Debra Minoff & Susannah McCullough
Chief Creative Director: Susannah McCullough
Associate Producer: Tyler Allen
Writer: Jessica Babineaux
Narrator: Kayah Franklin
Video Editor: Tyler Allen

[deepti]

i know it's supposed to be comedic but that episode where alex wins a bunch of awards but claire is only focused on luke and goes all 'i am so proud of you' while alex says 'maybe next year alex' was pretty sad

[geckohunter]

I absolutely despise the parenting logic that is “well they’re the responsible one so they need less attention.” Logic some people have.

[ipsilonia]

being an overachiever is a trauma response and i always liked the complexity in alex’s character

[rozalindafeorre]

I always hated how Claire neglected her. Especially in the episode where Phil was worried about Alex and all Claire could care about is Haley. It is disgusting.

[rozalindafeorre]

I think you could also talk about Phil. He was the one parent who at least tried to make it up to Alex every time he realised they had messed her up.

[eileen_a_b]

It really upset me that in the end they paired her up with the professor who was obsessed with Hailey. She deserved better. Why couldn't she find someone who wasn't her sister's sloppy seconds. It would have been nice if she ended up with someone who improved her with being understanding or breaking out of her single focus on academics, not the same as her. It was so rushed and clearly a very lazy last minute pairing.

[kellie-ndyp]

One of my favorite scenes is Jay telling Alex she has to take his place looking after the family because no one else is up to it. Sorry I don’t remember the episode but it was a sweet moment.

[therealneal]

Alex was my favorite Dunphy kid. Probably because I was deemed smart enough to be left to my own devices as a kid and have high expectations set for me. Might need to talk to my therapist about this one.

[chrissiem]

One of the most heartbreaking Alex Moments for me was when Phil and Claire come home after date night to find Alex crying on the living room floor, and she simply says, 'I dont have any friends....'
Genuinely make me wanna cry everytime.

[lepetitenellie]

I root for Alex! I always despised how Haley was never punished for the extreme bullying she put her sister through. One of the worst that cemented my absolute dislike of Haley when she took an embarrassing photo of Alex and shared it on Facebook. And the story arc of that episode favored Haley and had Alex lose in the end.

[bhavanashankar]

I think she should have had a more defined romantic arc. It would have been better if she ended up with Bill instead of Arvin. Or atleast she could have stayed single by the end of series, it's very annoying when makers pair everyone up in the finale

[trinaq]

I can relate to Alex so much. I always put too much pressure on myself to succeed and do well, so Alex's breakdown definitely resonated.

[.kaytranadafan]

Alex's was the most relatable out of the three Dunphy kids, but I always felt she was the most neglected. I understand this was also played up for comedy but I feel Claire could have helped her embrace her more fun, feminine side. I also feel the Take could have talked about Alex's mostly dysfuntional love interests on the show.

[lordfreerealestate]

Booking her own appointments and such resembles parentification, and she is bullied by her sister honestly.
The problem with being the achieving, gifted, put-together child (esp in a dysfunctional family) is that people have high expectations for you, applaud you for being low mainetence, etc.

[josabby]

Phil and Claire were kinda crappy parents to Alex. They failed in the small moments, then whined about how they didn’t feel close to her.
My main example for this was the episode where Phil and Jay took over the coaching for Manny and Luke’s basketball team.
When Alex asked Phil why she had to go to the game, Phil said “because we love your brother.”
Then Alex asked why Luke didn’t have to go to her cello recitals, Phil said “because we love your brother.”
Then, later in that episode, Claire decided to humiliate Alex in front of her classmates at the mall, because Alex had the audacity to not want to be seen with her mom. It’s something that every teenager goes through. Claire, who constantly complained about her own mother should have understood that, but nope, she decided to humiliate her daughter- who was already struggling to fit in.
Then at Alex’s 8th grade graduation, Claire was crying about losing her. Several seasons later, Phil was complaining that he didn’t feel close to Alex and tried to force an over worked waitress into labor just to have a “big moment” with Alex. He was putting a woman and child’s life in danger.
Little things matter. I think that Alex being “mean” to her family and uninterested in her parents being around for the big moments were a result of them belittling her to be funny in the smaller moments.

[zanypria]

Alex was so misunderstood. Her character was always ignored by the writers. And that was not fair. She still is one of my favs in the show. Despite being so smart & pretty - she never won in most of the episodes

[rainbowpiss]

I've always forgiven Alex for whatever her shortcomings are such as the small mean quips and tricks. I can honestly relate to her a lot. I understand why at times she can be unnecessarily mean. With the amount of pressure and neglect the family puts on, her being occasionally mean to feel superior is a way of coping with her feeling less important than her siblings who are often focused on while simultaneously being the one her parents expect to pick up after her siblings in the future if or when they fail or mess up.

Imagine being referred to as a "safety net" for your siblings, that can mess with you and I know from experience. In my family, I am often referred to as the smartest, while simultaneously poking fun at that fact while putting expectations of me being the most likely to become successful because of that fact. She's a great character and I also love her and Haley's dynamic, because it's such an accurate portrayal of sisterhood. Me and my sister are a lot like both characters. One of the reasons we love Modern Family!

[pdruiz]

OMG. So she didn't get into the "Stanford of the East." She got into CalTech! She's not exactly failing at life. LOL. It's a much smaller school, and a far more intense a place. Also, frankly, the people I've met who graduated from CalTech have been way more impressive than the people I've met who graduated from Harvard. They're rarer (due to the smallness of the school) but they're more impressive overall.

[oooh]

1) people can be smart AND social 2) parents need to realize how damaging and frankly even abusive they can be without always realizing 3) people often hate on smarter individuals maybe bc theyre jealous 4) theres different kinds of smarts

[crystalfajman]

I always hated how they didn't believe Alex that time she had a boyfriend because they assumed she made him up because he had an unlikely name. As if she wasn't pretty enough or interesting enough to get a boy's attention. Alex was just as pretty as Haley(prettier in my personal opinion). I would havr also have liked for Alex to come out as Bisexual in her college years with Mitch being the first one she comes out to first.