Why Are You Such a Perfectionist? with Marc David

Do you feel like your projects are never quite as good as they COULD be if you just spent a little more time and energy? Do you make people wait while you add another round of finishing touches or go over your work one more time? Just about everyone wants to make a good impression, and when we put our effort into something, we want it to turn out well. But if you suffer from perfectionism, no matter how hard you labor, you’re never quite satisfied with the results. And when perfectionism becomes a way of life, you may find that the fear of being seen as imperfect - or in other words, human - stops you from doing anything at all. If you or someone you love has perfectionist tendencies, you won’t want to miss this fascinating new video from #IPEtv. Marc David, founder of the Institute for the Psychology of Eating, takes a close and honest look at the psychology of the need to be perfect, and reveals the hidden costs of this way of thinking that just might be more than you bargained for!

Want a sneak peek? Read part of the transcript below:

Today's Topic: Why Are You Such a Perfectionist?

More to the point, we’re going to take a fast and deep dive into perfectionism and see it for what it really is - a strategy that takes us in the opposite direction of where we truly want to go.

If you’re a perfectionist, then by definition you’re unhappy. The more intense your perfectionism, the more intense will be your unhappiness. People might not really see that part of you from the outside because perfectionists hide their inner turmoil pretty well.

And especially when it comes to food, perfectionists tend to live in a self-imposed prison that never has them reach their full happiness, their potential, or their enjoyment of food and body.

Here’s what’s so odd:

People mistakenly believe that perfectionism is a noble pursuit. After all, perfectionism sounds good on paper. Who wouldn't want to be perfect? What a great target to aim for, isn't it?

But the reality is, it's a target that's absolutely impossible to hit. And so the net result is that we foolishly set ourselves up for a very predictable failure.

Technically speaking, perfectionism is a disease. It drains us of our energy. It robs us of our dignity. It causes our brain to command us to do all kinds of foolish behaviors when it comes to food and body. Perfectionists can waste a ton of life energy thinking about food, worrying about food, obsessing about food, over exercising, hating their body, living in fear that they won't be perfect, and beating themselves up whenever they do something that doesn't fall into the perfect category.

And of course, for many perfectionists, it looks like they’re doing great. They might have a nice, hot and toned body. They might have their diet under control. They might be managing their appetite and eating little food so they can maintain their perfect weight. But secretly, perfectionists are living, at best, a life half lived.

Here’s the deal:

-Perfectionism actually keeps us in a constant state of feeling that we could fail quite easily. Perfectionists are easily knocked off their horse.
-Perfectionists are always living on shaky ground. One slight experience of being imperfect, and the perfectionist can easily turn to food for a strange combination of stress relief and punishment.
-In other words, perfectionism is a setup for self abuse. Just about every single perfectionist I’ve ever encountered has this opposite side of self. They’ll go from doing everything seemingly perfect, to all hell breaking loose with food. In other words, perfectionism is a great predictor for all kinds of unwanted eating behaviors.

[joanhenry]

Hello Marc, I have been recently listening to ur videos. They are giving me a whole new perspective with eating, body image etc.These perfection videos are helping me so much understand me and what I have done with food, diet and exercise. I learned being highly critical of myself as you speak about, I can say I learned from my Mother. Although I have not had issues with anorexia like my sister.. I have never been happy with my body wether I was 120lbs or 160 lbs... something is never good enough... oh yeah I’m telling myself I’m not good enough!! Thank you for this very enlightening video. I’m 53 and I do not have the body I once had at a younger age... but I’m healthy and it works well and I am going to say “ Thank you Body for all you can do for me and today I am going to love you just the way you are!” Thanks Marc. I will be listening to more of your videos!

[farzad]

This video was awesome!! I think I'm one of those who trapped in the perfectionism. Today, I'm going to accept all my vulnerabilities and shortcomings and start to live a real life!!

[MT_FIN]

i am a perfectionist. i am trying so hard to be perfect in school subjects. this video 100% explains me.