IS YOUR ATTACHMENT ANXIETY SABOTAGING YOUR RELATIONSHIPS? | DR. KIM SAGE

**ONLINE COURSES FOR HEALING AND DEALING WITH BORDERLINE/NARCISSISTIC PARENTS AND HEALING YOUR INNER CHILD BY RE-PARENTING YOURSELF (LINK BELOW)

**FREE CHECKLIST: DO I HAVE NARCISSISTIC AND/OR BORDERLINE PARENTS?

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This video is from a new series about healing our childhood and relationships called "Healing Love," and describes how our anxiety can sabotage our relationships within our Anxious Attachment patterns.

Please check out my courses (LINK ABOVE):

1. BORDERLINE AND NARCISSISTIC PARENTS: HEALING AND DEALING WITH YOUR TRAUMA

(***This course is designed specifically for you if you were raised by parents who had Narcissistic, Borderline or significantly Emotionally Immature parents.

2. RE-MOTHERED: TRANSFORM YOUR WOUNDED INNER CHILD INTO AN INTERNALIZED, LOVING "MOTHER"

(***This course is designed to help you learn to heal your inner child AND your inner parent if you experienced a complicated childhood or challenging relational wounds).

3. IDENTIFYING CHILDHOOD EMOTIONAL ABUSE AND NEGLECT

Guided journal to help direct healing from childhood coming soon!

xo

*** Additionally, I am only able to work with California residents for weekly therapy once available. If you are interested, please also add in a few brief details in your email including your reasons for seeking treatment, current diagnoses, concerns, etc.

Thank you so very much - I truly and sincerely appreciate you, and the time and thoughts you share here:)

[cloudbones]

can you make a video about: is it my anxious attachment or are my needs just not getting met? how do we distinguish between is it something they’re not doing and we need to leave, or is it our own relationship anxiety and we need further healing?

[dag]

I burn up so much energy worrying about what they are doing when I’m not there I know he is trustworthy but I have a terrible feeling all the time… this happens to me in every relationship, I know it’s my childhood but I get a thought and my thoughts snowball and the take me over and I react to the magic show in my mind. Feel insane sometimes

[angelabutler]

This spot on! I’m so glad I’m figuring out why I do what I do and how to correct it. I’m 44, but better late than never. “Anxious attachment style”

[Thecharmedonee]

Thank you for these videos Unfortunately I sabotaged my relationship with the greatest guy I’ve ever dated Because of my attachment style and his I wasn’t receptive because I was always paranoid I wasn’t good enough or that he wasn’t that “into me” I would be quick to want to breakup and eventually that pushed him away to the point where he started putting in less and less effort and as a result I got more and more paranoid and pushed further and further Now he won’t communicate with me and I’m here hurt alone and regretful because this truly feels like something I couldn’t help To anyone who may read this give yourself a chance at love at life at opportunity don’t overthink it and don’t over do it Good people don’t come along often and it’s a really terrible feeling to have hurt one to the point where they no longer want you

[M__Amor]

Thank you so much for your knowledge and guidance. Currently in the middle of self sabotaging a relationship. I'm tired of the cycle. I'm tired of the anxiety. I just don't feel safe to heal with them.... Which is a trigger to my attachment style 😔

[kellylauren]

How should my partner respond to my protesting behaviors? I don’t want him to indulge in my unhealthy behaviors because I don’t want to continue the bad habit but I’m also looking for security and reassurance. I know this is about me and how I respond to my anxious attachment style/triggers but what can he do in those moments?

[iMmunashe]

As an avoidant, hearing all of this is extremely hard for me to understand and sympathise with. 😶 I feel so triggered hearing all the textbook anxious responses to certain situations, especially since they can't help it

[angelamarks]

This is really coming up for me. I recently began a relationship with a man. Im learning how to manage my need to feel more closeness and security.
He has been so consistent, and honest, but I’m still freaking out inside. Especially if I don’t hear from him one night. My brain creates the worst case scenarios.
I am luckily aware of my attachment style so I am trying to break my patterns of sabotaging. It’s a lot!

[ioanacmr]

I get it, but my feelings dont cooperate... It's difficult to do it by myself.

[allwellandgood]

I react in this way so often sadly, like I'm unconciously testing the safety of key relationships. I am getting much more self aware and better and stopping myself since learning from you. The reactions just make everyone feel bad and the situation so much worse, I'm also so concious of not wanting it to affect my kids own attachment and behaviours. It is so true that all we really are seeking is love and connection and to know that it will be ok. I am loving this new series and can completely relate to what you say. Thank you so much 💖

[katladyfromtheNetherlands]

Thats funny cuz I watch you (and others) to regulate and calm down

[thecommonsensecapricorn]

I think I was more anxious from childhood to around 21 y/o but now I’m almost completely avoidant

[rachelqureshi]

I’m so happy I found these videos! I’m finally starting to work on this for myself to save myself from these patters. Spot on. Dr. Kim, I feel like you’re my guardian angel!!!

[fortminorproject]

I am having a difficult time trying not to scare others with my attachment style. Someone who I wanted as a friend and ended up crushing on noticed my attachment style before I did and wanted to remain friends . I always had trouble keeping long term friends and relationships.

[dimitrisgonatas]

I'm doing that I have anxiety and is a big burden to carry

[johnhenrymcmahon]

This is a wonderful lesson, Dr. Kim. I certainly can relate to this anxious attachment relationship style, my God yes. Thanks for all the good work you do, Johnny

[BeeHarmoni]

You really help me much.. I’m grateful for you!! THANK YOU!

[solfh]

Honestly every time i was anxious my feeling got confirmed by bad outcomes not so later on. Will never know which a consequence of which. In my opinion I noticed the slight change in them and gave me huge anxiety and ofc that changes my confidence in all the relationship and myself, so I am more pushy which leads to them detaching. But honestly if someone really cares I think thry would show you how you dont need to be worried. meanwhile they all showed me why I should be worried instead. So it's always a cycle of confirming my anxiety which starts as soon as the thir week of the relationship, when men visibly start to not care that much

[DEFACTO]

You're nailing it Dr Kim Sage... Thank you. I have thrown away relationships because of this knee jerk feeling that Ive been insulted much... Wow this is the truth. very painful to have this issue affirmed but necessary. I have no friends left., but I do believe I can extract friendships with more attention and self love with my health, getting back out to events and simply enjoying life amongst various peer group activities.

(PS Youre offering in my opinion the best healing content online right now.
Your case load is too full... but Courses will help spread your case load for self helpers like me who are able to dig deep enough with your guidance to self-observe & understand and thus correct our "learned" negative thoughts and negative behavioural patterns that we originally found hard to pin down, yet may be destroying our attachment to new and meaningful people we actually like.. Thank you so much & may your practice overflow with the abundance you so deserve).

[BrendaSmith-fq]

I need help! I am self sabotaging in my current relationship and this hit me so hard