All You Need to Know About Gaslighting

All You Need to Know About Gaslighting

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Gaslighting is one of the manipulative behavior that will be very dangerous for its victim. According to Robin Stern, PhD, Associate Director of the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence and author of "The Gaslight Effect," that gaslighting is always dangerous, “The danger of letting go of your reality is pretty extreme.”
Gaslighting may start out with the small offenses, then it can snowball, even more-or-less insignificant instances of you questioning your own judgment or reality. The victim of gaslighting can end up a cycle of not being able to negotiate their daily life in a way where you are clear minded, can focus, can make sound decisions, and have a sense of well-being, Stern says.

Furthermore, this kind of behaviour also can happen in almost any relationships such as personal, professional, even by public figures. So no wonder if we often see an abusive spouse, or maybe a manipulative boss or coworkers.
No matter where it's happening, it's very crucial to be aware of the red flags that you or someone you know might be a victim. The first step is to get out of that abusive situation. It may happen in a power dynamic, and it’s not always intentional or malicious.
Stern explains that, “the target of the gaslighting is terrified to change up [the relationship] or step out of the gaslighting dynamic because the threat of losing that relationship — or the threat of being seen as less than who you want to be seen as to them — is quite a threat,”
Gaslighting can happen to everyone. Sometime the gaslighter even don't act with malicious intent, and they don't realize that they are gaslighting the other person. This might be the result of how they raised, maybe their parents also raised them with the same way or had the very cut- and-dry beliefs.
One day, you're upset because you think that your boyfriend is flirting with other girls. But something that you don't see is that it's the girl who flirt your boyfriend, and he is just being polite. Then you start questioning yourself, maybe you're getting wrong. When you find yourself questioning a lot, you need to be wary of gaslighting.
The other example, it's a mother who always dissagree with her daughter's decisions. Then, the daughter start questioning decisions she guesses her mother wouldn't agree with. In this case, the mother even does not realize that she is controlling her daughter's every decision. However, by being to critical, she is doing so.
Gaslighting also can happen at school. Student can cause another student to question feelings or judgement of a certain situation.
How gaslighting happens?

So how gaslighting happens? According to the National Domestic Violence Hotline’s fact sheet, the techniques a gaslighter might use to manipulate other people can include:
1. Witholding

The gaslighter will refuses to listen or says something they don't understand. For example, when you see your boyfriend or girlfriend flirting with others, you ask this situation to them. But they withhold this and decide to not saying anything. Instead of making you feel release, they choose being silent.

etc.

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