The Terror Of The Lord #gospel

This message is about motivations of the Christian life. #gospel

[deborahvarneyduboise]

Thank you for this sermon.. It truly laid bare my heart and soul. I have been struggling with my salvation for over three years now, I first lost my daughter to a rare incurable cancer (46 yrs. Old) then the following year my husband about the same time as her anniversary passing. I have never lost my belief in the Lord nor that he didn’t love me. It’s just one thing after another that I have had to deal with some in- law junk even tho we were married over 42 yrs. But it has been things like the house we live in fell apart it seems lest than a couple of weeks after his funeral at Christmas no less. Now I believed at first that the Lord sent me a distraction to help me not grieve so much, my usual commitment to the Lord started to fall by the wayside. I couldn’t seem to pull myself together to pray and my usual daily reading of his word also began to fade. These last couple of yrs. I done things I’ve never done, such as drinking to get sleep and I saw that this is addictive and haven’t touch it for 3 1/2 months now, temptation creeped up in the last two weeks but thankfully I don’t leave my house much ( I live way out in the country so I won’t make the 50 miles round trip lol.) but it wants to creek back in but I know that the Lord gave me strength to say No More!! ) anyways these are the least of my concerns. I can’t understand why the hard struggle to get my walk with the Lord back, ( I’ve have lived the Lord since I was 5 yrs. Old) I have lived my adult life serving him with a couple of missteps but couldn’t stay away very long. But I loved reading and studying 📚 everything that I could to make sure my theology was correct as I felt it was important to knowing as much as I could about him, church history and the like. I was Pentecostal but I have really stepped away from it until I hopefully get more understanding about it, because I did just go on my feelings and experience but I knew that the church I had once believed was correct in that had to do with the way one was to be baptized in and when I discovered that the doctrine came by what some man said because of a dream he had! I put the brakes on instantly and haven’t looked back on that. I know I have said a lot, but was hoping to give you a picture of my 69 yrs. But this one issue has haunted me for years; I have a bad problem with not being truthful since childhood and I never have told this to anyone, it is a daily struggle. I watch how to not fall into its trap but I do good for awhile then when I’m not paying as close attention, then 💥 BAM! I have to get out of my mouth what I found that I was saying, I don’t mean to do it but on occasion I find myself struggling to shut the heck up or say I’m sorry I don’t know why I said that.. it’s important to me because it has been a fight with this since I was a little girl! Why this thorn in my flesh ??/ know either. But I have Q.‘Ed myself and my salvation for yrs. I fall then I pick myself back up to only find myself being hit again and again with it, which causes me to worry am I not one of his very own. I hate this sin, but I don’t know what to do except I keep on asking for his forgiveness.. this has been a Q. For me for years and I heard your message hear and now I wonder do I not want to fully get down on my knees and not get back up until I feel that he has given me a release. Believe when I say you have no idea how many times I’ve sought the Lord on this. But I did do my diligence with seeking him about it, but not as much so in the past few years, especially once I begin drinking, because I felt out of communion with God due to that along I didn’t feel worthy to do so because I felt my sins slayed me in having that communion with him. But I know not reading 📖 the word hurts me, but sometimes due to my health issues I can’t seem to catch a break. Anyways I LOVE MY HEAVENLY FATHER AND HIS SON MY SAVIOR, I don’t want to go to hell, I want proper fellowship with him and I don’t want to be lost and without him I Love Him Too Much.. now I know you can’t solve my problems but maybe you can give me scripture to help me understand this, & possibly a little hope that this can happen to a lot of believers but who will admit to something like this. There isn’t any churches in my area that teach solid doctrine and I just can’t go to these churches, most are strictly holiness ones and it wouldn’t matter anyways because others all in that 50 mile track of I can’t drive that far due to night driving with my eyes. I’m sorry I took up so much room here in your comment section but I’m trying to keep as much of GODS WORD IN MY HEAD & HEART RIGHT NOW, so I truly apologize for that.. God bless you, I’ve downloaded some of your videos here and I hope you don’t mind I will not be sharing them they are to help my mindset which is helpful for me and again I THANK YOU FOR MAKING THE WORD OF GOD SO REAL AND UNDERSTANDABLE.. God Bless You in all your endeavors to this huge body out here that are searching for the right road to choose and to us who are struggling with some of these issues that not many pastors want to deal with..😔