Let's talk about how to take criticism....

Check out the store. Stickers, mugs, hoodies, shirts, etc.

[icecoldparasite]

In Europe we call this "the american s*** sandwich", referring to the sugar coating around the critisism. Specifically in Germany frankness is common and appreciated. Of course this only applies to constructive critisism, not beaing mean to someone or bashing them. That is never ok no matter where you are.

[poppyshock]

A major problem with the sugar-coating is that many managers only give compliments when they're about to criticize, so it quickly becomes apparent that you are about to receive some sort of negative feedback.

While it is important to accept such feedback as an "underling, " if you only get positive feedback in connection with criticism, you have poor management above you. It is a yellow flag that your dream job isn't so dreamy.

[theoldgrowler]

I'll take "Blunt" over "Sugar Coating" any time.

[mr.pavone]

I had the same issue with a previous employer. The company actively employed veterans but used this "sugar coated" managerial style. I went so far as to tell them that style is so against what veterans are accustomed to.
So, if your company employs veterans tell them straight up what needs to be fixed. You don't need to be rude or abusive! Just be direct and quit wasting time on trying to save people's feelings.
Goddammit, I resented that shit.

[bonniepoole]

During the 'sugar-coat stage, ' make eye contact and smile a little, then look down and nod, when the person giving the feedback feels like they can safely address you (you are approachable and accepting) they will get to the point and you can move on.

[natfoote]

The most important skill in conversation is knowing when to stop talking.

[heman]

Judge me not for my ignorance and misunderstanding.
Judge me for refusing to try and improve.

[khaldrogo]

Happy Sunday y'all, if you are in Canada like me. Happy Thanksgiving.

[yuridegroot]

I suspect the number of people who prefer the direct approach is higher than most management textbooks assume.

[danielr.y]

I would be lying if I didn't admit this kind of straightforward approach to criticism is a significant part of the reason why I chose a career in science. Just like Beau and that guy, I become extremely annoyed when people sugarcoat criticism towards me; I want a report, not a poem.

[DrSanity]

“Criticism may not be agreeable, but it is necessary. It fulfills the same function as pain in the human body. It calls attention to an unhealthy state of things.” - Winston Churchill

[alana]

This happened to me. Until I ended up with a boss who was the same. She had a reputation as being fierce, no-ononsense, even harsh. The reaction of colleagues when I became boss was that I was unlucky and she was hard to work with. The reality is great. She tells me what needs doing, I do it. If I'm going wrong she lets me know and I sort the issue. We work incredibly well together and she is a friend more than a boss. I'm loyal to her and she is loyal to me.

[billdurfy]

Great advice. I would cautious about the questions. I was labeled “argumentative” when questioning my instructor. I had to flat out say, “I’m not arguing with you, I don’t understand how that works in the way you described. Can you please clarify this for me.”

[mitchlynroberts]

This happens a lot with neurodivergent people in particular (ADHD, ASD, etc.). It is very hard to figure out how people expect us to respond (physically, tone, etc.)

[melissaperry]

What would be great is if managers told us what we're doing right as a stand alone, on any given day. Then when criticism is needed, the "sandwich" wouldn't feel so contrived.

[jeanetteschock]

I tell myself what is my part in things. Am I in ego? Fear? I step back and admit my mistake and assess what was said. It helps

[margaretnicol]

I remember a member of my staff asking why I was always annoyed with her. I asked her what she meant. She said that when we sit down to discuss anything I always frown at her. She was right. She was a quietly spoken girl and I'm a bit deaf so I was actually concentrating on what she was saying but it looked like I was frowning. I'd asked her to speak up a little a few times but had given up. We met halfway. She spoke up and I stopped frowning (as much). After that all was well.

[williamsifton]

This commentary is SPOT ON 💯%
THANK YOU BEAU🙂

[corwin]

May I offer another suggestion, if anyone gets this far into comments? Most people hate to give criticism as much as getting it. I would recommend not only asking questions then, but make a habit of touching base to see if things are now going better on _X_ in quick little bites. It keeps it short and comfortable for the other party, but shows you’re making an ongoing active effort to use their advice.

[stonedsasquatch]

I've always hated the compliment twice criticize once aspect.