How To Deal With A Stubborn Child: 5 Positive Parenting Tips

5 positive parenting tips on how to deal with a stubborn child:

1) Stay calm. As a parent, never allow your child's mood to control yours. Just keep breathing. Children aren't good at regulating their emotions, but you can--since you're an adult.

2) Take note of what you can control. Children normally choose something they could control.
You have control of the things you provide them.

3) Empower what your kids can control. Focus on the choice of your child. It's ok for you to say, "You know what sweetie, that's your choice". Empowering their choice and honoring them also mean there will still be consequences that children can't control.

4) Listen rather than argue with your kids. Children argue because it gives them a false sense of power. Take a listening approach. You can change the dynamic of the conversation. You can do this by saying, "Oh, that's interesting. Tell me more about that." Try it.

5) Be empathic than angry. Let them know that it's also hard on you as a parent.

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Watch and Enjoy!
Dr. Paul Jenkins

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Track: Kisma - We Are [NCS Release]
Music provided by NoCopyrightSounds.
Licensed under Creative Commons — Attribution 3.0

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Video by Nate Woodbury

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[krh]

Thank you! This really helps! I have six children, one of which is very stubborn. I have found that hugs really make him feel better. Sometimes when he is disrespectful, I have him go to the garage and cool off. When he is ready to come back in, he has to hug me and say he is sorry. The hug seems to soften his heart. He then will typically open up to me and talk with me about what is truly going on. I tell my kids, everything is negotiable in life. For instance, we must clean the house together, but if they prefer to clean a certain portion of the house, if they want my help with certain parts, if they need to do it at a certain time, we can negotiate these things no problem. I just need to know. I also routinely let my kids know that I cant wait to come home to see them because it is the best part of my day. It is never my goal to fight with them. I want to get along. We are a team. This also seems to help with the stubbornness. Thanks again for all of your help! You always give me pointers that help me so much!

[mohamedeltoum]

1. Stay calm, keep breathing.
2. Remember what you control.
3. Empower what the kids control, honor their choice.
4. Listen.
5. Use empathy rather than anger.

[greentree_]

Please explain giving examples more often. Sometimes I watch the videos but don't know to implement your teachings. Thank you for your channel.

[heatherette]

I came to this looking for tips for my toddler and this is exactly what my husband does to me. Am I the child? 😭

[gracetyson]

These videos have helped me so much ♥️ I was raised by a narcissistic pastor and I literally have no idea how to empathize with my kids. All I ever heard growing up was basically “Stop feeling that negative stuff; you’re making me look bad.” So....thank you for these videos. Day by day, moment by moment, I’m finding my way through this parenting journey.

[ErikaK]

Staying calm and taking a deep breath... instead of reacting. Taking a deep breath can help us manage our emotions and find a better way to deal with them...great video ! :)

[lydiamcfadden]

My 3-year-old daughter has always had and still has tantrum episodes every single day. It’s humiliating. Bedtime is so stressful EVERY DAY! And this is not the only time she is out of control. I have tried it all; routine, stories, positive reinforcement, games, etc., still, nothing works. We can't figure it out… We would appreciate your input... I'm all ears!!! Thanks!!!

[sheilahorsted]

My daughter 27 was taken Dec.6 2020 in a car accident her 2 children were with her and survived they are 2 and 3 this happened on the three year olds birthday. It's a year later today . I had 4 children now have 3 . I'm 51. Youngest of my children is 17 .. So it's been along time since I had little ones 24-7. I am very grateful for your videos doing this alone doesn't feel as alone since I found your videos..It has helped me beyond words. Thank you for the work and help you are giving .

[spa]

In fact: how to deal with any person... :)

[millermdiehl]

I needed this video so bad. I have three wonderfully stubborn children and all of these steps I failed at lately but boy I needed this. Thank you so much for this video.

[DelightedSoul]

“Parents can only give good advice or put them on the right paths, but the final forming of a person's character lies in their own hands.”

[ethanolintoxication]

OH MAN, THIS VIDEO IS FOR ME. The one thing that helps the most with my toddler is speaking calmly to him (as calm as I can be) and explaining to him the reasoning behind what I'm telling/asking him to do. The other thing that works is that when he wants to keep saying no when i speak calmly, I raise my intonation (not necesarily my volume) and he gets kind of 'woken up' and accepts what I say. The other thing is that I'm teaching him to count from 1 to 10 when he gets agitated, we do it together and then I ask him if he feels calm :)


Your videos have helped us tremendously, kudos and blessings to you and your work team.

[bravemoon]

I will listen to this over and over again when I feel that I’m starting to lose it

[paulavedadmastery]

Perfect video - and perfect timing with my daughter. 16months - staying calm, breathing, regulate

[ghadahassawi]

It is all about clear rules and a clever game so play it comfortably ❤

[Christina-tpmo]

I don't know how you always manage to put out videos the same day I need them. I love your channel. Thanks so much Paul!

[deminigamage]

There's a little girl our the next door. She's really stubborn and hates, bullies her todler sister and shouting so hard for everything. But her parents (both 're doctors) never blame or try to change her behavior. Their patience is amazing and I feel sorry about them. Your advice will be a great help for such parents. 🌹🌹

[foxyred]

You see all over social media almost every mom is posting, "I have such a perfect baby, toddler, teenager". And it makes you think HOW is everyone else's kids listen and mine doesn't? I can't speak for all but in my case all of my friends' kids are perfect listeners regardless of their age according to their parents. When teachers complained about my child when he was 2-3-4 years old in pre-school, I remember being so upset, because I was told that he is the only kid who doesn't follow the rules or being very stubborn. My best friend has two kids and she is always so calm I was feeling so bad about myself for reacting when my child didn't listen.

[vimimaliakel]

Yes absolutely Agree Doctor... I myself have tried this in the past and miraculously it worked and it sure does. It's just that we as parents need to be in control of our negative emotions all the time. The moment we lose control of ourselves, we lose it and that's what has happened with me too. So it's a conscious effort and work on our part to be more able to first work on ourselves and take control of the situation. Excellent video as usual. Thanks a ton for sharing it👌👌💖💖

[artcherpang-an]

Thank you for the advices.. I've been so stressed out these past few days because of my sons' stubbornness.. They're 5 and 7. They always fight with everything. 😭 I'm so emotional as i write this comment coz im seriously tired, stressed and super sad with them.. 😭😭