Blaming players for 'Not Playing Right' #dungeonsanddragons

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[jrbuschief]

Reminds me of one of my favorite PTerry quotes “People on the side of The People always ended up disappointed, in any case. They found that The People tended not to be grateful or appreciative or forward-thinking or obedient. The People tended to be small-minded and conservative and not very clever and were even distrustful of cleverness. And so, the children of the revolution were faced with the age-old problem: it wasn’t that you had the wrong kind of government, which was obvious, but that you had the wrong kind of people. As soon as you saw people as things to be measured, they didn’t measure up.”
― Terry Pratchett, Night Watch

[fenixmeaney]

No, the Chronicle IS a good idea. Just might not be the right fit for your players. It doesn't have to be anyone's fault at all, things sometimes just don't line up. And it's unfortunate, but it's also ok.

[jamesnought]

"I sat looking at my phone and don't remember what you said. This is actually your fault, DM."

The DM has herculean efforts to do. The players can do a little bit of work and make a little bit of sacrifices. They'll be okay.

[SkarDungeon]

I had a friend complain to me about a session of dnd he is in, that I am not a player or a dm in; and He was upset that he keeps getting stunned for multiple rounds of combat and he blamed the monster and gm for using said monster, when taking a deeper look we found that his allies did nothing to try and stop his stun (ie. bringing him out of the aoe, casting anything on him). This brought us to realize that the other players at the table are making the game less enjoyable for him by all having a slight bit of main character syndrome. The players can genuinely be blamed when there is good reason that they are ruining the experience for themselves or others.

[msytb]

Having Standards is not evil. Read the book. Keep your records and sheet in order. Be ready and attentive during the game. Know what you are going to do doing. Do not interrupt. Do not unnecessarily hog attention. Don't whine about things not going your way after being given many outs and advancing towards a predictable risk. If your table agrees to play a certain way, respect that that way matters rather than revolting against mechanics when they don't work in your favor.
Many, many things, not big things, but many little things, you can and should expect of a player. Standards are acceptable, and not meeting them means they are not at your table.

[HPRuneScape]

Other than the rare antagonistic troll player’s, this is definitely true to the integrity of TTRPG’s golden rule of “Have fun”! Every player should want to be at the table to have a good time; drawing blame from either end of that’s not the case will just leads to a toxic experience that in turn, usually turns blame on the game as a whole in the long run.

[goberdm]

Before I dm'd my first proper campaign I asked each player what they would enjoy, what they want to do with their character in the future and worked hard to involve each player individually as much as possible (e.g. I would message a player as their patron if a conversation between 2 others went on for a bit). Running with 4 players helped a lot because it's a nice number to manage.

[foldionepapyrus]

As you said you are also a Player as the DM - anything goes wrong at your table in ways that are not just the die at least one of you has to be failing a bit. But probably all of you! So talk it through, reflect etc!

[Verlauchthedragon]

thank you so much, at times i avoided D&D because of all these stories about "bad players" it gave me the feeling the D&D community was gatekeepy/aggressive to newcomers

[TopherPhoton]

Thank you for reuploading this clip as a short- after last week's session, I needed to hear it

[Xylos]

"My players are victims."

Yep, he's a DM.

[hexenhammer]

Agreed! Managed expectations is important in gaming. I spend 10 hours making world lore. The expect my friends to love it as much as I do.
And they just robbed the scholar that knows everything and called him a liar.
My expectation vs Player Reality.

[monkeymule]

It is more of a table culture question that a game design one. That said, if a player comes to Call of Cthulhu with alot of slapstick comedy, or a warhammer 40K table not wanting to be bothered developing a passing familiarity with the rules?

[Linruat]

As a DM, I am always adapting to my audience, and we curate a fun environment for everyone.... but sometimes, the players are just anti-social degenerates, and it IS their fault.

[SonAlexander]

“Don’t blame the players”

Weird… it’s almost like this has always been a rule. Like “never insult your customer base”

I wonder why modern game devs forgot this

[ironskual]

If you have ever played a game the first thing is there is a sign points to the right players won't.

[Jesse]

Blame the system/rule set almost 100% of the time. That's what I do and that's what I pay John Harper or Mike Myrles for.

[ouroboros_]

Most of the time this is correct. But I feel that if you’re clear about the type of game you’re running, and your player still makes a character that doesn’t fit… is it your fault they ignored your warnings?

[calvinwarlick]

Blaming the Player for playing wrong is valid if the play wrong. And they will. If I have one more rogue ask if the can use stealth to sneak a lie past someone in a conversation, someone is getting beat up.

[SpitefulSoviet]

It is all about meeting in the middle somewhere.