Phil In The Blanks | Borderline Personality Disorder

The Struggle: Borderline Personality Disorder Pt5

Learn about borderline personality disorders, characterized by a pervasive pattern of instability in interpersonal relationships, self-image, and emotions, as well as marked impulsivity. Dr. Phil offers insights and strategies for dealing with someone who has borderline personality disorder, emphasizing the importance of talking about what they deserve rather than what they need. BPD is “the most stigmatized disorder of all” and he encourages people to seek help.

[JohnGeorge-pwxo]

I was severely traumatized years ago as a teenage. Got diagnosed with BPD. Spent my whole life fighting BPD. I suffered severe depression and mental disorder. Not until my mom recommended me to psilocybin mushrooms treatment. Psilocybin treatment saved my life honestly. 6 years totally clean. Much respect to mother nature the great magic shrooms.

[bellabambaa]

Borderline is not bi polar people. Not all borderlines are violent. Just because you have had a bad experience with one doesn't mean all of us are the same way. I have quiet bpd. And have NEVER attacked anyone. Use your critical thinking skills people.

[issabee]

He knew we were googling this. Narcissist are misdiagnosed as bpd all the time & that’s where all the compassion goes out the window. Narcissist deserve compassion too. No one would choose this.

[monicaalsunaid]

I have BPD-was diagnosed over 20 years ago. I have four grown children and 12 Grandchildren. I dearly love them all. I fit Dr Phil’s description! Yes instability and impulsive behavior. My husband and I have been married 42 years; he has become verbally abusive, probably as a way to defend himself from me. I adore my family and babysit some of our Grandchildren several times a year especially a week. I hate who I am. I would do anything to “cure” the BPD. I have taken the DBT course SIX times. I am lovable and I am able to love others. I hate living with me. This is a living nightmare. Please try to have some compassion for me. I have extremely low self confidence and self esteem. Therefore I have extreme panic attacks. I can never live alone. Please understand I hate who I am, yet there is no cure, no safety net. I often feel all alone. All I want is to be genuinely loved.

[thak]

I have been close to a person with BDP for years and years, I find that being very gentle, kind, remembering that they feel genuine fear when you leave, hang up the phone helps them to feel better. Maybe wait until they have to go pee to go pee when out jn public bc if you leave to go to washroom they may panic, or ask them to come with you, always try to keep your own emotions in check and always encourage them and let them know that they matter and are important.

[thak]

People with borderline personality can be the most loving and loyal person you will ever meet, they have a lot of trauma and they experience a-lot of fear and self loathing. And the person that I love will not go for treatment bc they have gone before and have not received help, but I’m hoping one day I can get this person that I love so much help.

[HomeSweetSamantha]

My ex husband has BPD. He was physically and emotionally abusive. He threatened to kill himself. Threatened divorce weekly. Would yell at me for things I wasn’t doing. I had to leave, and I am so thankful I did. If you’re in a relationship with someone with BPD, and they’re abusing you, please leave. These can be dangerous people!!

[DianeDavidson-dg]

🙏 Thank you for your show. You've given me so much hope. I'm in therapy bi weekly for this disorder working with my therapist. I'm still struggling a lot, but slowly improving. Hope others with this d/o can get help. I'm going through Dialectical Behavioral Therapy and believe it will work. Thanks again for your show, you're the best.

[bevhart]

So happy you decided to speak about this. I am trying to see if this is something a family member has. The more I find out and educate myself perhaps it will help me understand and cope. It’s been yrs on my shoulders. Thank Dr. Phil

[sophieaugustyn]

I wish I could find a good doctor to help me with my diagnosis. It's so hard to live with and what you deal with is so hard. I am not violent or have rage but my emotions, and impulsive behaviour at times are so hard. It is not fun, it is exhausting!

[saganhuxley]

It’s fascinating how often PTSD and ASD are actually misdiagnosed as BPD in women. I feel like the greatest differentiator betwixt PTSD or ASD, and BPD, is that BPD cases don’t really know who they are at the most fundamental level. Their sense of identity is nonexistent and existential crises are prevalent.

[madamemaryjanesaddiction]

I'm 47 and several severe traumas. My brother killed my father less than 2 ft from me. My son was killed. Molested, raped. Mother abounded me with the brother that killed my dad when he got brain cancer. He was given 6 mths to live. He lived 5 yrs, had to quit my job, had 2 nervous breakdowns. Hospitalized 5 times and still don't want to live cuz it's too difficult. I was just told Saturday in the ER, I needed to love long-term in a facility to learn to live again. 😢

[nikkinorton]

When my mom and dad got a divorce, my mother said that my dad was BPD. I think it was a projection. I believe my mom is a BPD. I grew up having to read the room. I don't remember not doing that.
I left home at 17. It is awful to live with, and while I have compassion, and realize that you may not be able to choose your feelings, you can choose your behavior.

Some behaviors that my mother displayed were gaslighting, manipulation, shaming, blaming, lying, triangulating, falsely accusing, moving goal posts, invalidating and these are behaviors that are psychologicaly abusive. They are emotional abuse.

They are called that because they do harm to others. You can't love it out of them.

Now I completely understand that her dad had PTSD from being shot and bayoneted in WWII. I understand he left the family for many years to get his head on straight, and that caused my mother some harm. I understand that she didn't get enough attention having 3 sisters and a little brother to care for while her mom worked. I understand my mom or any of her siblings didn't get enough attention.

I understand that I had it better than all of that.

What I don't understand is why she would take my inheritance that my grandfather left me for college.
I don't understand why she throws the chessboard when she doesn't win.
I Don't understand why she screams at the person who rents sea doos because hers isn't going as fast as others.
I don't understand why she drives like a maniac with her grandkids in the car.
I don't understand why she won't respect boundaries.
I don't get why when she makes false accusations, she won't discuss what she accuses. I'm guessing because she knows what she is saying is a lie? Idk ..

These are harmful things. It's behavior that is within her control. She doesn't care how it affects anyone else.

I hate what happened to her as a child. It wasn't fair. But I didn't cause it or create it. I can't fix it or control it.

But I can't be around it. We haven't spoken in 13 years. One of the last things she said to me is that I'm just like my dad and her sisters. She loves us but doesn't like us.

My response was then don't waste your time.

And I meant it. So I get it. I get where it comes from. But I'm not dealing with it. I love her a lot, but that is ridiculous behavior, and it's crazy making.

[snicksabea]

My ex had abusive borderline personality disorder. He tried to convince me I had it. I don’t. I have PTSD from his abuse.

[queenb]

Wow… some of the comments are just plain nasty. As you should all know, not to tar all of us with the same brush!!! Not all of us borderlines are just horrible people that deserve the stigma! Some of us (quite a lot of us actually) just want to be loved but feel like we aren’t worthy of it. We have been through so much and have childhood trauma, that comes in all sorts of different forms. Physical and sexual abuse, neglect, ill treatment. Some of us are the most loving people you’d ever meet. Like myself! Where my emotions are so intense you wouldnt be able to get that much love from someone else! BPD doesn’t make us all bad! When I love, I love so hard. Yes I have some issues, but Iv learnt my triggers and I will stay away from them at all cost or try my hardest to. Yes i’ll admit…. I CAN be an extremely scary person, and I have the potential to really hurt someone BUT… that side of me has to be pushed for it to show. Like if someone hurt one of my children, I would literally take that into my own hands, and then I’d hurt myself, as I couldn’t live without them, the pain would be to unbearable for me everyday, it would physically pain me! and that once again is driven by our intense emotions. I’m an extremely empathetic person, very kind and caring especially to animals, I’m definitely not someone to cross but like I say if you get that treatment form me you’ve 100% deserved it. I can be hard to deal with, I need a lot of reassurance, I have psychotic episodes of I get to stressed. I didn’t ask to be like this. I was made like this by people who were meant to love and take care of me. Not all of us are bad people!!!

[ThiesavanderMerwe-vihh]

I love my BPD friend. I motivate her to get help and she does. She is my hero

[Whatnowart]

They will only portray themselves in positive light and in social media will paint a perfect picture of their life. It doesn’t fool those closest to them though.

[cherylpapendry]

He had every one of your 9 symptoms. Wow wished I had this info before

[MissCryptoNL]

It's good you get this into the world. The only thing is: why don't you highlight the biological factors that cause people to have or get BPS?
Or the 4 or 5 different types (depending on research) that the 256 different types fall into?
Better to call it an 'emotional regulation disorder' and what can help them.

You're absolutely right about the stigmatism. I even see it when I search and videos that have been made over the years about this disorder.
It's crazy! Even when you think about how we normalized schizophrenia by example.

[danishaferreira]

Correct I have experienced a life full of pain. I suffer depression and anxiety big time. I also cannot get a relationship to stick. I also have fear of abandonment. BCS I have experienced it in my childhood. I had a psychopath father and a narcissist mother
My brother is also a psychopath and my sister is a narcissist.
I am the youngest. My childhood was hell.