Mortimerian Tales - Bob Mortimer on Would I Lie to You? - Part 1

Compilation of Bob Mortimer's stories on Would I Lie to You?
00:07 - I once set fire to my house with a box of fireworks.
06:50 - The police once ordered me to leave town because I was frightening the locals.
13:11 - This is Keith. He's my oldest friend, and when we were at school together, we hid a dictaphone in the classroom ceiling to confuse our teacher.
18:25 - This is the cushion that I used to carry my pet owl around on. I would have brought the owl, but he escaped last week.
23:45 - For five days I pushed my cat around in a pram, because it had sprained three of its ankles.
26:27 - As a teenager, I used to terrorise my neighbourhood with a game I invented called "Theft and Shrubbery".
31:45 - This is Michael, and after cutting his hair, I got a job on a campsite as a hairdresser.
37:54 - I have a digeridoo suspended from a tree in my back garden so when the wind blows in a certain direction, it parps soothing sounds of the outback through my bedroom window.
41:34 - I recently had to charm a spider out of my shoe by tooting a flute at it.
45:35 - I can break an apple in half with my bare hands.

A huge thanks to the person who contributed the Swedish subtitles for the entire compilation!
And to the person who contributed the Russian subtitles for the entire compilation! This is simply amazing.

[WILTYNope]

00:07 - I once set fire to my house with a box of fireworks.
06:50 - The police once ordered me to leave town because I was frightening the locals.
13:11 - This is Keith. He's my oldest friend, and when we were at school together, we hid a dictaphone in the classroom ceiling to confuse our teacher.
18:25 - This is the cushion that I used to carry my pet owl around on. I would have brought the owl, but he escaped last week.
23:45 - For five days I pushed my cat around in a pram, because it had sprained three of its ankles.
26:27 - As a teenager, I used to terrorise my neighbourhood with a game I invented called "Theft and Shrubbery".
31:45 - This is Michael, and after cutting his hair, I got a job on a campsite as a hairdresser.
37:54 - I have a digeridoo suspended from a tree in my back garden so when the wind blows in a certain direction, it parps soothing sounds of the outback through my bedroom window.
41:34 - I recently had to charm a spider out of my shoe by tooting a flute at it.
45:35 - I can break an apple in half with my bare hands.

[zakkhetfield]

I've watched this video in it's entirety at least 10 times. It's like an old friend I visit every now and then to lift my spirits. It's yet to fail.

[Mirhi]

"A sniper's dream" is my all time favourite line from Bob Mortimer.

[MannyNamiro]

"Sniper's dream we used to call him" is still the best phrase I've ever heard on this show.

[Shmiguelly]

"And then, quite loudly, but not to frighten anyone, the word WOLF" is one of my favourite lines on any TV show in history.

[mudchair]

"Oh not so much now, Rob."

Perfect.

[allisonday]

Bob and David together are so funny. Super intelligent and funny

[alexmason]

"how did you strap the cat into the buggy?"

Bob, without any pause: "using the straps"

[andrewzielinski]

I think Bob is the only guest that ever regularly reduces Lee to helpless laughter. A master comedic storyteller

[MrGeerye]

Bob Mortimer is the only guest where his team is just as confused as their opponents.

[stevenpalmer]

I could listen to this every week for ever.😂😂

[bartomiejkumor]

"It's NOT™ for human consumption!" is an underrated joke.

[jac]

The way he says “hand lion” like it’s an entirely regular thing is hilarious. He doesn’t even try to explain what it is, just how it works, like THAT’s the part that needs clarifying.

[andrewtomlinson]

"Mum said DON'T GO OUT!" is one of the most underrated gags in this reel.

[ansfridaeyowulfsdottir]

I never get tired of these! I must have watched them 20 times!

{:o:O:}

[tehauctioneer]

I love how Bob reacts to other people's jokes they throw in during his story. He genuinely finds them hilarious.

[TheBeaveral]

Just recently realised how integral David’s questioning to Bob is to the comedy. Lee looks at Bob with so much joy too it’s infectious comedy. Love it.

[dianesteel]

I would love to live next door to Bob, and listen to his tales.

[swatir]

Just look at the pure joy on greg Davies' face everytime he hears Bob's stories. It's priceless. Like a child enjoying a bedtime story from a favourite uncle.

[somethingelse]

When he breaks and laughs after saying, "We do beg your pardon" the first time...that's the best.